#suplexcity

The Conqueror. The Beast Incarnate. The Mayor of Suplex City. The Next Big Thing. The One in 21-1. Brock Lesnar has been called many things in his illustrious career. You’d think, with all of his accomplishments and nicknames, you’d think Brock’s got a pretty good thing going for him. And while that is true, it doesn’t change the fact that Brock is pretty much the worst thing in WWE right now. And in this post, we’re going to be taking in an depth look into The Brock Lesnar Problem. Before I can go into that however, I feel like I need to point a few things out. First of all of course that this is my opinion, so if Brock is your favorite wrestler and can’t handle me criticizing him, then this probably isn’t for you. That being said, what even is the Brock Lesnar Problem? It’s the fact that despite 12 years in total in this business his wrestling ability if anything has diminished, he’s World Champion and hardly defends it, much less show up for work. And he’s paid way too much money for not doing his job. That being said, now we can dive in.

March 28, 2002. A triple threat match between Al Snow, Maven, and Spike Dudley took place on Raw, for no real reason besides being a filler. At least, that’s what everyone thought. Halfway through the match, Brock Lesnar made his debut, brutalizing all three men in a way we’d soon learn only Brock Lesnar can. Accompanied by Paul Heyman, Brock practically came out of nowhere, having spent two years in WWE’s developmental territory OVW, but actually previously known as a NCAA Division 1 Wrestling Champion. (“Real” wrestling). Brock would go on to be one of the fastest rising stars in WWE, winning the 2002 King of the Ring and beating The Rock to become WWE Champion within five months of his debut. He would win the title two more times after that, beating the likes of Kurt Angle for his second and third titles. Now this Brock Lesnar was entertaining. His wrestling style was unique, his finisher was devastating, he had a ton of great matches, the company was behind him; so what happened? Well, in my opinion, it all started at Wrestlemania XIX, and that Shooting Star Press.

If you’re a wrestling fan, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, then I’m impressed you’ve read this far. Basically what happened was during Kurt Angle and Brock’s match at Wrestlemania, Brock attempted to perform his old OVW finisher, a shooting star press. Now I’m including a picture of Brock with this piece, and I want you to tell me why that was an awful idea. Brock fell about six inches short, landed right on his face, and concussed himself. Brock finished the match, because it’s Brock and he doesn’t feel pain like people do, and won. However, this was the first time Brock was severely injured, and I think that’s when he realized he didn’t like that very much. We never saw him attempt the move ever again, and we saw him protect himself a lot more from then on. However, Brock couldn’t stop being rough and tough on his co workers, that would defeat the purpose of his whole character, but his refusal to take as much as he gave was the beginning of Brock’s… condition. Brock’s who is now getting larger, and his boredom with wrestling suffers because of it.

After losing his third WWE Championship to Eddie Guerrero thanks to help from Goldberg, Brock began feuding with the WCW legend. Note that now Brock had become bored with WWE, he’s already won the world title, King of the Ring,main evented Wrestlemania, and won the Royal Rumble (the four biggest accomplishments in WWE at the time, three of them still being so), and anything else seemed lesser to him. So a match between Goldberg and Brock was set for Wrestlemania XX. It had all the makings of a history maker, two of the most dominant performers in wrestling history squaring off, with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin. But then it was released Goldberg was retiring. And then it was leaked that Brock was leaving as well. For eleven years, that match was possible the most hated Wrestlemania match in history, fans booing both men for “selling out”. They both left, and Brock moved on to things like the NFL, where he never got to play. Then he  returned to wrestling, and became one of the few Americans to win the IGWP Heavyweight Championship at New-Japan Pro Wrestling. He also squared off with his old rival Kurt Angle, who defeated him for said title. Brock Lesnar once again retired from wrestling, and made his way to UFC and won the heavyweight title there.

Fast forward to 2012. John Cena lost to The Rock at Wrestlemania XXVIII. And Brock Lesnar returns, dropping the leader of the Cenation and making a resounding return to WWE. Vince asked Brock to come back, Brock now somehow becoming a bigger draw than he was before, and being more dominant than ever. Something was different now though. He didn’t show up as often. Brock’s moveset, while limited, was entertaining, and he didn’t wrestle enough for people to notice. He had some decent matches with Triple H, John Cena, and CM Punk, but all we really wanted was to watch him beat people up the way only he could. Now the problem has increased. Brock is getting paid more for less work, and he knows it. He’s a big name, and he knows he gets paid no matter what. Slowly, Brock starts getting lazier. And this climaxes at Wrestlemania XXX, when Brock beats The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at The Showcase of the Immortals. Brock now realizes that he is one of the most high profile names in wrestling. And he abuses the absolute shit out of it. Several months later at Summerslam, Brock beats John Cena in one of the most one sided main events in WWE history, delivering a cringe inducing sixteen german suplexes to John, who got practically no offense in. I’ll admit when this happened, I was hyped, and so were a lot of other people. Brock was champion, which meant we’d get to see Brock kick ass all the time. At least, that’s what we thought. But then Brock didn’t show up four five fucking months! If you’re champion, then you need to defend said championship, not disappear with it for months at a time.

But we were saved at Wrestlemania 31, when Seth Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract to beat Brock and Roman Reigns for the title. Brock disappeared for awhile after that, and we soon forgot about his poor excuse of a title reign. Brock began feuding with The Undertaker in a really fun rivalry, he entered the Royal Rumble but lost, it was really fun to watch. It’s Wrestlemania time again, and we know Brock has got a spot on the card. And it’s in a street fight, with Dean Ambrose. Everyone was so excited for this match, Dean was getting these weapons from WWE legends, Brock was beating Dean up as much as he could but Dean kept getting back up, this match had all the potential to be Match of the Year. But then it fully set in: Brock’s laziness. The match was a bore to watch, hardly any weapons were used and it was disappointingly short, much to the dismay of fans. Brock stuck to two moves, the F-5 and the german suplex. To this day it’s the only two moves he knows. On the Stone Cold podcast, Dean declared that the reason the match failed was because Brock, and I quote: “had no desire to entertain, I had all these great ideas and I was met with laziness.” The interview spread like wildfire, and more wrestlers voiced their displeasure with Brock and how unfairly they were treated compared to him. Brock disappeared again however, and soon we forgot about the whole thing. Note that in my opinion, this next stretch in Brock’s career nothing really eventful happens, he beats Mark Hunt in a one off UFC match but it gets overturned because he failed a drug test, faced Randy Orton at Summerslam and damn near killed the man after splitting his head open.

We are now at Survivor Series 2016, and it’s the rematch of the century. Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar. Goldberg hadn’t wrestled in twelve years, the last time he did was when he beat Brock, did he still have it? The answer we soon learned, was no. These men had three encounters from 2016 to 2017, and each match was slightly more disappointing and sub par than the last. First Goldberg beats Brock in a minute and twenty-six seconds, which is forgivable because holy crap someone squashed Brock and also the first time he’s been pinned in three years. Then Goldberg eliminates Brock from the 2017 Royal Rumble in a couple of seconds, for no real reason. Then it climaxes at Wrestlemania, this time for the WWE Universal Championship. I think it’s safe to say that nobody was really looking forward to this match. Goldberg made it clear he only remembered his two finishers, and Brock’s laziness and WWE’s refusal to have him show up was well known. The match was several minutes of the old men tossing each other aropund and hitting their finishers, with Brock winning the title.

And we now have the Brock Lesnar problem at its worst. Brock hardly shows up to defend the title, and when he does, we’re promised absolute dream matches. Brock vs Braun Strowman, Brock vs Samoa Joe, and every time it’s the same thing. Paul Heyman hypes up Brock for three weeks, Brock finally shows up to brawl with his opponent, and the match is just a couple minutes of Brock hitting suplexes and his finisher, and then disappearing again. It’s been over a year now, and this hasn’t changed. Brock demands so much for just an appearance, and everytime WWE seems to stop tolerating his shitty behavior and unreasonable demands in his contract, he threatens to leave the company. Vince doesn’t want to lose his big draw, so he renews Brock’s contract. But what is the point of having a big draw if he only shows up a couple times a year, and wrestles even less? Just last Monday, Seth Rollins defended the Intercontinental Championship more times in a month than Brock has even wrestled the past year.