Reflections 22-02-2023
A lot of things have happened so far. Yesterday I told A that I needed some time away from him to get some clarity. Overall, I was so rude to him. He had so much care and concern in his eyes. And most importantly what I deduced from the conversation is how much he wanted me and cared for me. And, me? I was only concerned about how to cut him off. :( I do not know why I do this. I push people away so much. They believe in me a lot, and I simply keep my distance.
I have realized that I am very self-centered, and do not care about making and keeping connections. Maybe it is got to do with the idea of individualism that I have been feeding my mind with lately.
On my way back home I sat next to a lovely girl on the bus. She asked me something that I didn't comprehend, and in a reactive response, I was gonna say to her, to speak a little louder. Thankfully, divine intervention came in, and I just said huh? And then I realized she was mute. That just hit me. And the later part of the conversation, I gave her directions and she smiled and nodded her head. And this experience humbled me. We'll never know what the person next to us is about. Be kind, polite, and most importantly courteous.
Anyway, today I make Paneer tikka grill sandwich. And it was super delectable. I didn't know I had such a wonderful cooking talent and I honestly can't wait to explore it :)
I have decided that NO MATTER WHAT, I'm gonna be grounded when speaking to ANYONE - Of course, I will not allow disrespect. But be firm while talking.
