everything is moving away from me and i can’t stop it, it’s like everything i’ve ever touched is rotting in my hands and the people i would’ve bled for don’t even turn their heads toward me anymore..no one stays no one even slows down long enough to notice i’m still here..i can feel myself becoming smaller to make space for them to go like if i shrink enough it won’t hurt as much when they disappear completely. i used to run after them, hold the pieces together but my hands are tired now. i let them fall. i let myself fall with them now their voices has stopped reaching me, their eyes pass through me like i’m air. i am not missed, not looked for, not held in anyone’s mind. i’m left standing outside in the cold with no door to knock on. i'm not only losing them i can feel myself fading too like my own thoughts don’t sound like mine, my body feels foreign, my name feels wrong in my mouth. i can’t remember the last time someone held onto me like they meant it. the ache has carved itself into my bones and i think if i broke open, there’d be nothing inside but emptiness where all the love used to be. so i'm leaving too without a goodbye just completely gone for the good and ik they won’t notice and i won’t wait to be missed.
