#sueco

It's hard to say where it all went wrong

Been feeling this way for way too long

The pain goes away on the days you're gone

Yeah

I'm the happiest

☆•"Sometimes I wanna die young with you in my arms

The last word off my tongue is

"I'll always love you 'til my lips turn blue"

Would you do the same too?

I'd do that for you"•☆

Based on Paralysed by Sueco - Niragi x Fem!Reader

 Angst because it’s emo hours and I <3 Sueco. Kind of edited, kind of not. Also my first attempt at smut :-)

masterlist

Word Count: 2.9K

TW: Alcohol, drugs, sex/smut, mental health issues/mental instability (reader), death, blood, general aib themes.

Alcohol, drugs, sex - you’d try anything to keep your mind off this fever dream you were living in. Your life before Borderland was far from perfect, but this was pure hell.

So, when you weren’t fighting for your life or avoiding the militants, you could be found drinking and snorting anything you could get your hands on. One particularly rowdy night saw you being dragged out of a private party you somehow got caught up in for, apparently, starting a fight.

Stupid bitch deserved it you thought to yourself, aggressively removing your shoes and stomping around your room as you prepared yourself to attempt to sleep.

A knock at the door interrupted you, injecting more anger into your substance-laced veins.

“What the fuck do y-“ you snarled, stopping yourself when you saw the figure on the other side of the door.

“You should watch your mouth there, sweets” Niragi smirked down at you.

The shock was surprisingly sobering, and the anger was replaced with a low buzz of fear. You knew what the militants were like, and you knew Niragi in particular was not to be messed with.

“Sorry,” you swallowed, trying to avoid eye contact “why are you here?”

“You left your cocaine on my nightstand,” he held up a baggy with the hand that wasn’t adorned with his well-kept weapon “just wanted to return it to ya.”

The tension you didn’t realise you were holding in your shoulders eased at the realisation he wasn’t here to… well, whatever it is happens to people who cross the militants.

But something didn’t make sense.

The Beach was teeming with drugs, it wouldn’t exactly be a big job to find more - so what exactly compelled Niragi to return yours to you?

Whatever it was, you weren’t interested in finding out.

“Oh, thanks I guess” you said, tone laced with confusion as you took the baggy and simultaneously tried to shut the door.

Your attempt was futile, as the door jolted against Niragi’s boot with a loud thud.

“You’re pretty feisty, huh?” Niragi quipped, pushing the door back open with his foot, “I didn’t think you had it in you” he finished, running his piercing over his bottom lip.

What the hell does he know?

“Yeah, well if she hadn’t been such a- “

“I’m not asking you to explain yourself,” Niragi cut you off, “just saying I’d like to see it again.”

He was looking you up and down, smirk plastered on his face. You stood there like a deer in headlights, stomach churning at the thought of what was going to happen next before your saving grace sounded off from the hallway.

“Oi, Niragi!” boomed a loud voice, presumably Aguni’s, “stop fuckin’ around, emergency meeting. Now.”

Niragi rolled his eyes, replying with a quick “coming, boss” as he complied with his superior.

“See you around” he said to you over his shoulder as he was walking away, arrogance laced in his words.

You slammed the door shut without replying, shaken up and not sober enough to process what just happened.

Thank god for Aguni you thought to yourself for the first time ever, as you rolled yourself into bed, eager to forget about the entire interaction.

“God, you’re such a filthy little slut,” Niragi spat from above you, hips slamming against your ass and his hand around your throat “where’s that feisty side now, huh?”

Between the pressure on your windpipe and the way his cock was slamming your sweet spot over and over, you couldn’t muster a reply other than broken moans.

“You wanna cum so bad don’t you?” he teased, being met with rapid nods and noises of pleasure from you.

“Beg then” Niragi demanded, pulling himself out of your hungry pussy and loosening the grip around your throat just enough for you to speak.

“P-please, Niragi,” your voice raspy and your legs squirming as your desperate cunt begged to be filled “please, m-make me cum” you managed to stammer out.

“Good girl” he said, devilish grin on his face and lust-filled eyes drinking in the view.

His cock slammed back into you harder and faster before, but still in the perfect spot to keep tightening the coil in your stomach.

Tears brimmed your eyes as your head was pushed further into the mattress, Niragi’s own grunts and laboured breathing pushing you over the edge.

The knot in your stomach snapped and warmth spread through your body as your orgasm washed over you, filling all of your senses. Niragi didn’t slow down as he chased his own high, fucking your throbbing pussy into overstimulation and relishing the whimpers he was eliciting from you.

“Ni-niragi” you choked out, balling the sheets in both of your fists.

“That’s right, say my name,” he panted, “no one else can make you feel this good, can they?”

“No, p-please – I n-need you” you begged, urging him to fill you up.

His breathing was erratic, his strokes becoming less uniformed and more desperate as he pounded away at you, lewd noises filling the room. Your whole world was fuzzy as you took every thrust – the feeling was borderline euphoric.

“Fuck!” was all you heard before you felt the hot rush of Niragi’s cum pulsating into every corner of your plush walls.

His weight pinned you to the bed as he caught his breath, bodies adorned with sweat and each other’s pleasure melding into one being for just a few moments.

Niragi removed himself from your frame, looking down with a proud smirk at the sight of your marked body and the mess he’d made.

This is how most of your nights went now – being fucked senseless and left broken on the bed after Niragi had his way with you.

You don’t know why you do it, and you promise yourself you’ll never let it happen again – but yet you end up here every night, begging for him.

There was nothing loving or sweet about your interactions, they didn’t lessen the void inside of you that you desperately tried to fill.

They were harsh and violent, leaving you battered and bruised, incapable of even being able to fill yourself.

But in the moments where his skin is on yours and the friction is hot enough to start a fire; when his lips collide with yours before his warm mouth wraps itself around your neck; and his eyes look into yours with such primal desire, you could almost feel something you thought was just a foreign concept now – comfort.

And maybe that almost feeling was enough.

Your thoughts had distracted you from the fact that Niragi had already left, and with your euphoria quickly turning into a headache, you pull the blanket over your aching body and drift off to sleep.

In the beginning, you’d tried to hide the dark bruises that littered your skin, ashamed of what you did – what he did to you – in the previous hours. But, it was obvious to anyone who took a second to look at you what was going on.

“Looks like Niragi has a new toy” you’d heard one say.

“Imagine not respecting yourself to the point where you’d walk around like that” another had chimed in.

“C’mon sweets, don’t be shy,” Niragi had sneered at you, not happy with your retaliation to him groping your ass one day, “everyone knows your favourite necklace is my right hand” he’d proudly announced to the entire poolside.

Now, standing in the bathroom and checking the damage he’d left you with – all of those moments flowing through your brain – you couldn’t even turn to face yourself in the mirror.

Niragi loved every aspect of his Borderlands life – no laws to stop his deviancy, the post-game high he got to experience on a regular basis, a reputation that made him feel invincible – however, he did not love guard duty. But, it had gotten a bit more bearable lately.

Staked out at a high point by the poolside, it gave him a perfect view of the entire area. It was a good vantage point, he’s able to see the movements of everyone in the vicinity – including you, sitting in your usual spot at the bar, sipping away at a drink.

He watched as your lips gently attached themselves to the glass, admiring your figure in the swimsuit that adorned your body and the hickeys that were oh-so visible due to the lack of clothing. He was supposed to be monitoring everyone, but with the lights from the dancefloor and poolside illuminating you so gently, all he could see was you.

“Hey lover boy,” Last Boss muttered, breaking Niragi’s trance, “wanna stop staring at your girlfriend and do your job?”

Niragi’s head snapped in his friends direction at the outlandish statement.

“Wanna shut up? She’s not my girlfriend,” he scoffed, “and don’t ever call me ‘lover boy’ ever again.”

“Whatever you say” Last Boss mumbled in response.

Where the fuck did he get that idea from? He’s the closest thing Niragi has to a friend, Last Boss should know that he’s not exactly one to tie himself down – in fact, it was quite the opposite. Niragi’s good looks and reputation could get him anyone he wanted, he took full advantage of that and planned to keep doing so.

You were a bit… different, though. Your fiery nature that first caught his eye was still there, you could hold your own and even tried standing up to him on occasion. You weren’t a nuisance to drink with and you could almost drink him under the table. On the occasions his tongue wasn’t already down your throat, you’d ask about his day before your late night activities and listen to whatever rant and rave he wanted to share.

But you still weren’t his girlfriend.

Pull yourself together he scolded himself, scanning his eyes over the party goers.

The crowd was as boring as ever, no one daring to step out of line with him perched above them. He returned his gaze to the bar to admire the view a while longer, but all he got was an empty seat. You were gone.

His eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched at the sight, Niragi knew what time you usually stayed out until and it was far too early for you to be leaving – where did you go?

“I’m gonna check the hallways,” he said abruptly, propping his rifle on his shoulder as he stood up, “this is fucking painful.”

He didn’t even wait for Last Boss to respond as he strode away, entering the building at a brisk pace.

You didn’t care for dancing so Niragi bypassed the dancefloor and began stalking the halls, checking your most frequented hiding spots, but to no avail.

Frustrated, he stormed his way through the next corridor towards your room, almost banging the door down when he arrived outside.

“Jesus, calm down,” you huffed as you opened the door, “what are you doing here, aren’t you on duty?”

“You left the bar early tonight, how come?” he questioned.

“Just wasn’t feeling it tonight” you replied, avoiding eye contact.

“Look at me” he demanded, gripping your chin in his hand and forcing you to meet his gaze.

Niragi examined your face, his hold loosening ever so slightly as he saw your glassy eyes encased in puffy, red skin – you’d been crying.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, eyes narrowed

“It’s noth-“

“Did someone hurt you?” he cut you off.

“No, it’s not like th-“

“Who hurt you? I’ll kill them” his tone was flat, but earnest.

“Stop,” you snapped, grabbing his wrist to take his hand off your face “nothing happened, no one hurt me – I’m just having a shit day.”

Niragi’s face twitched, concern threatening to spill out from under his staunch demeanour. He wasn’t sure what to say – violence was his way of solving things, but he knew it wasn’t yours. His eyes flicked down to where you still held his wrist, the warmth of your hand dissipating as you awkwardly pulled away.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” he broke the silence, voice tinged with uncertainty.

“It’s fine, I’ll get over it,” you tried to brush it off, “plus, you’re on duty anyway.”

“I can come by after,” he almost blurted out, “plus, you listen to me all the time – just returning the favour.”

“O-okay,” you replied, confusion evident in your tone, “I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, see you later” Niragi said, turning on his heels and walking away.

He stopped after he heard your door close, rubbing his temples between the fingers and thumb of his free hand.

What was he doing?

This wasn’t the plan. He never planned to be nice to anyone. He never planned on wanting to spend time with anyone. He never planned to involve himself with anyone further than the length of his dick.

You were never part of the plan, and yet here you were, re-writing it.

Niragi returned to your room that night as promised, and for the first time he didn’t leave until the morning.

As your time in Borderland increased, your mental state deteriorated with each passing day. You were past the point of trying to fill the void, content with your emptiness to the point where the games didn’t even phase you anymore – you truly didn’t care if you lived or died.

Niragi knew, you’d told him all of this during your late night chat a couple of months ago, and he couldn’t wrap his head around why you hated it so much. He tried to show you the beauty of this new world – taking you to the militant target practice area to blow off steam, going on drives to loot the already pillaged stores, he even started staying with you some nights – but he couldn’t seem to get through to you.

He knew you were in a bad place, but he didn’t think you’d reached the point where you’d try something like this.

“You tried to steal the cards for yourself and escape,” Aguni stated, “your actions deem you as a traitor of the Beach, and rule three is death to all traitors.”

You said nothing, just staring ahead at the firing squad before you with dead eyes – you had no idea why there were so many people here, you hadn’t even resisted when the militant goons bound your wrists and dragged you away.

Niragi tried to fight it, saying it was all Chishiya’s idea and that he should be the one dying instead of you. He told them you were just a pawn in the blonde rats game, that he’d take personal responsibility for you, that you could join the militants as punishment.

He was brushed off as someone with a vendetta – Chishiya had reported it to Aguni in the first place, why would he ruin his own plan?

Now all he could do was watch as you paid for your crimes, another militant already standing at arm’s length with a pistol pressed to your temple.

“Any last words?” Aguni asked.

“Fuck you, and fuck the Beach” you spat at him, staring him dead in the eyes.

Niragi winced as the gunshot rang out, followed by the thud of your body slumping to the ground. Just like that, his new plan was over before it began.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Niragi hissed at the two militants that stepped forward to move your body, “I’ll take care of it.”

“Alright, whatever you say” replied one.

“Damn, you really are kinky, huh?” the other joked.

Niragi lurched forward, his own gun pressed under the chin of his colleague.

“Get the fuck out of here before I have two bodies to clean up, you hear me!?” he shouted, seething at the man in front of him.

“Jeez chill out, not my fault your girlfriend was a traitor” the militant snapped back, pushing Niragi’s rifle away.

Niragi scoffed before swinging his weapon around and smashing it across the man’s face, blood spatter hitting the concrete below as the man toppled over from the impact.

“Anyone else have something to fucking say?” he scowled at the group of men in front of him.

There was only muttered ‘no’s and whispers in response as everyone cleared out, leaving just him and you.

Turning himself in the direction of your body, Niragi was paralysed as he looked at your lifeless frame lying in a pool of crimson blood. He swallowed hard before slowly making his way over, crouching above you and brushing the clumped hair off of your face.

“Finally got what you wanted, huh?” he sighed, “kind of selfish of you, but at least you’re at peace now, I guess” he continued speaking into the wind.

Niragi remained stationary for a few moments, before rolling the dead weight of your body over to pick you up. He carried you bridal style to the dumpster filled with corpses, hesitating to put you to rest in there.

He stepped up onto a pile of discarded wooden pallets to lower you in, tucking your hair behind your ears and placing your hands atop of each other on your chest.

En noches de vigilia sofocado, cuando el recuerdo aguijonea inclemente, suplico por las noches del pasado que trocaran mi sangre en vino ardiente; por una noche en el florido prado de los anhelos, ¡una solamente!, de ígneo verdor selvático colmado, lecho de musgo en piedra reluciente. Detrás las églogas se alzan hasta el cielo. No me ve nadie y con nadie me cruzo. En otra época el sol fue mi…

Tagged by: @comfortablyisolated and @sil3nt-chaos!! Thanks to both of you 😊