#sublife

Here is my confession, Dear Readers, one I thought I would take to my grave. But after reading this, you and my therapist, will be the only other people alive on this planet who will be taking it to the grave as well.

You see, I am a Nymphomaniac.

Or a hypersexual. Whichever term magazines are using to best describe someone who thinks of sex often enough to be continually aroused and needs to be brought to multiple orgasms several times a day before they can even function as a walking talking productive member of society.

So yes, after he said I had to tell him when I wanted to cum and he had to watch, I told myself that that could never happen.

What would he do when he found out just how often I thought about sex?

Would he be as disgusted in my depravity as I am? Would he still want me once he knew just how... wrong I am?

Would he still love me if he ever found out... broken I am?

"Enter."

My brain was already thinking up excuses as my hand was twisting the doorknob open. I should just tell him that I knocked because he might need water, or maybe a snack.

My excuses shrank away from me as I stepped into the room. There on his desk, a glass full of water and a bowl of almonds.

My mind raised through every possible best case scenario as I softly closed the door and took the Wait position behind him. It is a position I've carefully practiced with him with my legs shoulder width apart, my arms clasped behind me, my shoulders pulled back, my eyes cast downward.

We have an agreed upon routine for when I need to interrupt his work. I knock, wait for his command, quietly enter, close the door, and then wait in this position until he is ready to speak with me. This way, he is able to mentally compartmentalize work and home life while not being overwhelmed with his duty and responsibility as my Dom.

He didn't turn from his desk to face me right away instead he would wait until he came to a good stopping point, then would interact with me.

I decided that I would speak to him about... getting a puppy. Ive always wanted a puppy.

But as time passed on, the tingling between my legs became nearly over stimulating. I tried rubbing my thighs together to ease some of the growing ache but it only made it worse.

My only choice was to confess my needs to him and recieve my punishment. I just...

At that thought, he excited out of his works email rook a deep breath and turned to me, his hands crossed across his lap.

"Do you have something you wish to confess, Slut?" His voice and his eyes showed no emotion.

I gulped, desperate to keep my voice even.

"I..." How do I even tell him? "I need..."

I couldn't even mutter the words before a blush overtook my face, and I cast my eyes to the floor.

"Ahh..." He leaned back into his chair, "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

Ofcourse, he knew. He could always tell when I was horny.

"Well?" He crossed his hands in his lap. "If you want permission to masturbate you will say, 'Master, can I touch myself?'"

"Master," I stuttered, ringing my hands, "Can I touch myself."

He waited for a moment, his eyes never leaving mine.

"You may." He gestured to the couch on the backwall of his office. "Strip and lay there. You may touch yourself to orgasm but ask permission before you allow yourself to cum."

With a nod, I slowly began sliding my clothes down off my body, until I was naked, the cold air of his office brought goose bumps to my skin, raising my nipple to taut points.

Still not breaking eye contact, he gestured to the couch again.

This was... so informal. I was used to foreplay with him. Some form of a warm up but this... felt cold and methodical.

I awkwardly sat on the couch as he sat in his office chair in front of me.

"Begin." He commanded in a flat tone. "Touch your nipples."

I slowly lifted my hands to my breasts, my face quickly warming up again. I had been exposed in front of him before but with him fully clothes and me naked this was... I had never felt more vulnerably bare.

My hands cupped my round breasts, my nipple settling inbetween my fingers.

"Roll your nipple between your fingers."

I did as he commanded, licking my lips. My nipples have always been very sensitive, even just rolling them sends shiver down my arms.

"Pinch them." I bit my lip, looking away. "Don't look away, Slut. Keep your eyes on me as you touch yourself."

I forced my eyes to him through half closed lids.

"You are playing with my toys, with my explicit permission. Do you understand?"

"Yes, S-Sir." I shudder as my finger pinch the tender peaks. He knew what a little rough foreplay did to me.

"Slide your other hand down your stomach until I tell it to stop."

I felt my hand slide over my soft skin right up until it was met with a slick slit.

"Stop." He stood up and took a fee steps until he was standing over me. "What do you feel?"

"My pussy." My face stung with his slap before I realized my mistake.

"What is it?"

"Your pussy, Master." Which was ashamedly becoming wetter by the minute.

"Is my pussy wet, Slut?" I moaned, my finger already tracing the shape of that firm little nub. My face stung again, before I remembered the punishment.

"You are not to move without my permission, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." I bit my lip, looking back up at him. His eyes now held a fiery darkness I fondly refer to as 'His Monster'. When he was in this state, he was relentless, cruel, and down right hostile. He knew what he wanted and would recieve it one way or another.

Some strange animalistic instinct makes me want to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness when I see him like that.

I gasped as moisture pooled underneath my fingers but I dared not move them again.

"Small circles now, Slut. And pull your nipple."

A gasp parted my lips as I felt the pull of my flesh at the same time as my fingers moving around my clit. He watched for a few moments before settling back into his chair.

He put his elbow up on the arms of his chairs as he hid his mouth behind his folded hands. His eyes were cold and calculated. His gaze fluttered over my body, on my heaving chest as I gasped and moaned with the sensations growing within the core of my femininity. My finger moved in a slow calculated circles. I wanted it to move faster, maybe plunge a finger inside the pussy that ached to be filled.

I threw my head back with a groan feeling the pleasure building up, but it only came to a certain level before ebbing away, like a wave that touched the shore before receding. If I was going to cum I needed something... more.

"Stop."

I put both hands down onto my lap, fighting to pull a deep breath into my lungs. This was tedious and slow torture. He knew exactly what he was doing.

He waited until my breath came back to a steady normal before commanding me again.

"Insert one finger into my pussy." I was so slick, the finger slid in without any push back. "Now, finger yourself."

His command was vague. So I took advantage of it. My finger slipped in and out, so slick with my juices they made a sloshing sound. Finally, I was being filled. The friction was building within me, my muscles quivered around his pussy.

I felt so honored that he was allowing me to play with it. Soon, one finger wasn't enough, and two fingers were pistoning in and out of my. The palm of my hand slapping against my clit.

"Rub your clit with your other hand."

He didn't have to finish the sentence before both my hands were working hard on my pussy.

My hips moved against my hand, riding the waves of exctasy as they build inside of me. The higher the waves, the louder my moans, the faster my hips moved. Higher and higher. Faster and faster.

I saw him adjusting in his seat, the growing bulge in his pants making it uncomfortable for him.

"Master," I need him, all of him, I need to let that Monster out of his cage. "May I suck on your cock?"

"Cum for me first, Slut." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Show me how badly you want my cock in your mouth."

His words lit a fire inside of me. I felt myself just on the edge, just about to break open, but I need something more.

"Master," I picked my lips, my body now moving against my will, but he hadnt given me the command I needed to hear, "Please choke me?"

He stood up, his massive cock creating an impressive tent in pants. He put one hand on the back of the couch, leaning over my body.

"Say that again, Slut."

"Master, please choke-" He growled. His hand moved quickly, squeezing firmly around the sides of my throat, pressing me down into the cushions.

There it was.

My mouth fell open, my tongue softly rolling out. My brain felt numb. No longer fearing or thinking. Just following his commands. Allowing my hands to abuse my flesh just because he told me to.

I whimpered as I felt my head getting lighter, finally allowing the fire hot pleasure in my core to boil and bubble out of me. Threatening to overtake me.

"Master," I struggle to speak over his hand on my throat but I had to. "Please... can... I cum?"

The corner of his mouth lifged as his eyes darkened and hee pressed his face closer to mine, his warm sweet breath mixing with mine.

"What was that? Say that again, Slut. I didn't hear you."

I clenched around my fingers, keeping my orgasm down, but his hand tightened around my throat, making the unbearable pleasure even stronger. I was going to cum soon with or without his permission.

"Please, Sir!" I scream, surprising myself. "Please can I cum, Master, I need to cum."

He took a deep breath as my eyes closed succumbing to the madness inside of me. Just as I felt the dam break inside of me, I heard his words whispered soft in my ear.

"Cum for me, Slut."

My body was no longer my own. I floated above it on a euphoric cloud. I watched as my body writhed uncontrollably, my arms and legs convulsing as if possessed. I heard my voice screaming over and over that I was his dirty whore.

And then, the peak.

Silence. Surrounded me as my body crashed back down onto the couch. The heavenly sensation, I was drowning in it, consumed by it, unable to breathe, think, speak, it coursed through my body until, it ebbed away, with small vibrating waves still randomly jolting through my body as my fingers stilled.

My heart beat uncontrollably in my heart as I fought desperately to breathe. I licked my suddenly dry mouth, still reveling in the balls of intense pain that bounced maddeningly through me. I wheezed uncontrollably with the occasional little moan escaping my gaping mouth.

"Thank you, Master." I murmured up at him though my eyes were so heavy they didn't want to open.

"Oh," I hears him chuckling above me. "You're not done yet, my little Slut."

I opened my eyes, his big beautiful cock suddenly unscathed in front of me. The sight of his rock hard warm red cock, glistening at the tip, with large pusing veins along its length, always made His Toy slick in preparation of being penatrated.

"Do that all again, and don't stop until I tell you to."

The second orgasm took some time, but with my slick already trembling walls, the third was not far behind.

I took a pause, resting my hands on my head, my hands were covered in my slick but every muscle in my hands tensed at their exception.

"Did I tell you to stop?" He growled his command, his hands on his cock. "Again."

The next two came slower, my hands unable to keep the pace. They were... less pleasurable and more painful.

"Again." His eyes locked onto mine as his hand massaged up and down his cock.

"Please, Master. I can't..."

"Have you had enough?" His hands didn't stop when I nodded, to breathless and weak to go on. "Good. Keep going."

I gulped as my shaking hands resumed their work. I was only able to squeak another one out before throwing my hands aside.

"I can't, Sir. I'm sorry I-"

He growled, jumping onto my body, pinning me down.

"You will cum until I tell you to stop. This is my pussy. You orgasm when I tell you to. Your orgasm... belongs to me.... it is for my pleasure and my pleasure alone." His hand went straight for my cunt, rubbing the over stimulated clit at the speed of a master of his craft. At his touch, lightning shot out of the poos abused pussy, my whole body pulled forward. I tried pushing his hands away, but he just pinned my arms above my head, and kept at his work.

The immeasurable pain that swept my body... like being dipped in hot candle wax and then right into an ice bath. Pain pleasure mixed all together until they were interchangeable. My throat became sore with screaming until all I could do was whimper. I lost count, and just accepted my fate as a being of endless lightning and fire. My body burned, every muscled tender and useless against the onslaught of tension leaving me a twitching heap on the couch.

I was no longer aware of who I was, or where I was, or how long I was there.

I forgot he was even there until he let go of me, allowing me to sink into the pillows. The deep abyss of unconscious beckoned to me but a sound kept me from sleep. It was moist slapping overplayed with a mans soft sighs and moans.

I tore my eyes open just long enough to notice the sounds were coming from him. His hands were rubbing up and down on his cock, as his eyes looked over my sweaty limp body. I thought for a moment, that he would use my hole for his own pleasure now, but the thought of his girth tearing my tender abused flesh apart from the inside... my thighs clenched together as my eyes fluttered back down, succumbing to darkness and the weightless unconscious.

"Open for me, Slut."

I felt a hand pry my lips open, and I dutifully let my jaw lazily fall open.

"Stick your tongue out." My eyes opened one last time, wondering if he was going to use my mouth instead, but I just watched as his whole body began convulsing with his own orgasm, he grabbed my shoulders, holding me up, as I felt slick hot cum cascade allover my tongue.

"Swallow, My little slut, don't waste a single drop." He groaned as I dutifully swallowed the salty deliciousness he left in my mouth. "My pathetic Whore. This will teach you not to play with something that's not yours."

My blissful unconscious was interrupted once again when I felt him pick me up and carry me somewhere. I whimpered at the feeling of something warm surrounding me.

"Shh... baby. It's just a bath. It's okay, baby." I felt my body floating in the warm body, supported by his arms as his hands glided gently across my body. My body jolted as a rough scrub was pressed against my raw ruined flesh. "Easy, baby. It's okay. I'll be gentle."

He whispered soft sweet things in me ear as his fingers softly cupped the pussy they were just roughly molesting minutes prior. I welcomed his soft gentleness, the yin to the Monsters yang. Each one necessary for the other to live fulfilled.

Then, a soft warm fluffy towel replaced the feel of water as I was then placed on a soft surface that enveloped me. A kiss was planted on my forehead as I fell back asleep to his sweet tender words.

"Good night, baby. I love you."

-

It was only the following day that I could get out of bed, albeit with some difficulty. It took days before I could walk without wincing and over a week before I even thought of touching myself again.

He had separated my brain from my body and my body from my... his pussy... and then destroyed it by giving me exactly what I wanted over and over again, tainting it. When we talked about it later, he compared it to the one time his father caught him smoking cigarettes so he made him smoke the whole pack. He never touched cigarettes again.

I guess that's where he and I differ.

I don't know how long he was standing there in the door way but by the time I noticed he was there, I was nearly ready to cum. My fingers were hammering in and out of my wet slopping pussy while my other hand was wrapped around my throat. I was trying to choke myself, saying 'I'm a dirty whore' over and over as I imagined that it was his hands touching me.

Pathetic, I know. But that's the only way I can cum these days and I needed to so badly.

It felt so good. I was almost there, just as I was about to let myself release and give in to the overwhelming waves of passion coursing through my core, my toes curling in the sheets, leg shaking, God I was so close, I heard something.

I jumped up when he cleared his throat. Our eyes locked and I knew I was in trouble.

You see, I'm not allowed to touch myself without his permission. I'm also not allowed to cum with out his permission.

His dark eyes glared into me as he stepped towards the bed. For a moment, I hoped he would see my sweaty naked body and replace my fingers with his cock, but I knew better. I broke the rules and I definitely wasn't going to get away with it this time.

Last time he caught me he didn't let me cum for a week. By the end of it, I was a whining begging mess willing to hump his boot if he would just let me cum.

Would it be two weeks this time?

Would he only use my ass for a while as punishment for me using my own pussy?

He has always been so creative with the punishments. Oh but this time, he was exceedingly devious.

"You broke the rules again, Slut." His eyes held a stern calmness that terrified me down to my core as he leaned his hands against the bed posts. "Do you deny it?"

I shook my head, sheepishly lowering it in a passive look of shame, while also spreading my legs suggestively so he could get a better view of my wet pussy lips spreading in front of him.

"And you don't even feel any remorse for your actions, do you?"

I blushed with a sly smile as I shook my head again.

He stood with a deep slow sigh, putting his hands in his pockets.

"You know I have to punish you now, right?"

I nodded, watching him as he strode over to my side of the bed, until he was towering over my bare figure. My pussy quivered at the thought of what he was going to do to me.

Was it fear? Was it arousal? Was it a bit of both?

He paused for a moment, wiping the sweat off my brow, but then his finger lingered at my jawline, and slowly trickled down between my breasts and kept lowering. I panted, closing my eyes, as his finger met the soft sweet curls between my thighs.

But just as his fingers found my clit, he stopped, and our eyes met.

" I know that as a Slut I can't tell you not to stop touching yourself. It's your second nature. You are a Hole meant to be used, you know this, and you are too weak to fight against what your pussy needs, what it desires. So I won't tell you that you can't touch yourself.

So here is the new rule: If you want to touch yourself, tell me, and do it in front of me, until I tell you to stop."

My eye brows furrowed up at him. It sounds almost too good to be true.

"So, I get to touch myself as much as I want, but I need to do it infront of you?"

He nodded, and my body jolted at the feel of his fingers softly circling my clit.

"And you stop when I tell you to stop. Do you agree to this new rule?"

"Yes, Master." I whimper my body quickly brought back to the peak of pleasure. "Thank you, Master."

"Good." He smiled down at me, his finger sliding down unto my wet soaking pussy, easily sliding into it, straight to the last knuckle. I cant help but moan out at the sudden sense of being filled with Him, spreading my knees apart, hoping for more, ready to beg more.

Seeing how close I was to coming undone, he pulled his finger away, and leaned over me, until his face was a mere breathe width away from my face.

"Starting... Now." His eyes lit up as he smirked down at me, before he turned and walked out of the room.

I have a love hate relationship with that look. I tend to love seeing it but then hate the consequences of what happens once he is done with me.

What did I just agree to?

Part 1 of 2