I am fucking losing it. I really want to be friends with cool and unique and alt people. If you want to get specific with like subcultures I mean emo, scene, punk, decora, hippie, goth, gyaru, I mean all that. I want people with personality, who can make their own clothes, wear and like small cool things, all that. But now everyone that is āaltā or other is a goddamn poser. By āposerā, I mean what it sounds like. You donāt have to like every common emo band to be emo, thatās not what Iām getting at. I mean buying your clothes from SHIEN or Temu. I mean using generative Ai to do things. The whole point of anything alt, of many subcultures, is to go against whatās common. To fight the system, say fuck you to capitalism. Fuck you societal norms. Fuck you government. Fuck you things I was told as a child by parents that hate me. Be creative!!! Be unique!!! Make your own clothes, donāt just buy them online!! That is quite literally conforming to the system, unless you get them from like some small shop locally! Fuckkkkkkk!! I donāt know wether to start shaking and crying, or to just tell them that and loose all my goddamn friends. I donāt even mean all my friends, but my friends (like my twin, I feel like,) that are genuinely super cool people alt people are too fucking afraid to dress how they want and do what they want. Scared because of their parents, because of classmates, just the societal norms. Scared of being called cringe or lame or insulted and made fun of. Yeah thatās going to happen, but who the hell cares what they think!? This is about you, yourself, what you like and feel, no one else. Write your own shitty music, dye your hair, donāt follow a tutorial, come up with your own makeup look, write bad poetry, draw something even if itās crap, customize your clothes by drawing on them or sewing stuff, I MEAN FUCK! It just frustrates me so much. And I canāt even be talking because Iām such a fucking hypocrite. I have such bad social anxiety I shake and stutter talking to literally anyone except like my closest friends. But Iām trying to work on that. Iām trying. Standing my ground about my beliefs (such as fuck ai and capitalism) is really hard because whenever I do they disagree and I just back down, Iām just so afraid to lose friends. Which I need to work on because quite frankly I need better (in-person) friends. (My online friends are rad.) Anyways Iām just pissed.