#sub san

San: Why Mingi? He’d be wrecked!

Wooyoung: [Grins evilly] Exactly, and I want to see that. 

Yunho: [Laughing] Oh my god, Wooyoung. Leave my baby alone. Sannie, [he turns to San] would you like something like this? Where you get to be edged and denied, and then watch everyone else get to come multiple times? You’d whine so prettily for us, I’m sure. And you’d help make everyone come, mmmh?

San: …I’d really like that. I wanna feel like I’m good and obedient and helping out. 

Wooyoung: You wouldn’t even care that you didn’t get to come? At all? 

San: I’d care but like in the sense that I’d enjoy it. Hard to explain why, but it makes me feel so good to get really close and then let myself be guided back away from the edge. Perhaps it is just an obedience thing. I feel like I’m doing well listening to my dom, by letting them decide for me that I don’t get to come. 

Wooyoung: So cute, San-ah~ Couldn’t be me. I’d curse and bite and grumble. 

He was very fucking fast to figure it out, though. The teasing had barely stopped before he was walking me through different imaginary scenarios - one about watching the two of them play, one about saying mean things and inflicting pain on Woo, one about Hwa watching me and Woo have sex, and lastly, one about Seonghwa bossing me around and tying me up, making me wait to be allowed to come, and eventually praising me for doing well for him. 

Woo was amused that I’d been rock hard for all of it. During the last scenario, since everything was so new and grand to me, he actually managed to talk me into a light subspace just from imagining Seonghwa dominating me. He said afterwards that my breath became heavier during that section. I was really turned on, and very into the idea, but as with Wooyoung, I could feel that it was something more. It wasn’t just hot. It was something that would satisfy something deeper than sex could, something that would help take stress and doubt away from me. Something that would make me feel good even long after a session had ended. 

Luckily, he knew the basics of aftercare, and he was able to care for me on his own. Got me safely back into a more every-day mindspace. Granted, I didn’t need a lot. He was just cuddling me and whispering sweet nothings to me, assuring me that I was his lovely Sannie. But he did so well with that part, which I think was admirable given that he was completely unprepared.

And after that, things happened fast. Because of course Wooyoung already knew that Seonghwa was into me. We had a talk with him about me joining the two of them for a scene, which we all agreed sounded amazing in theory. Then we did the whole ordeal with going through soft and hard limits, concerns, desires, expectations, and safewords. All that stuff. Basic BDSM etiquette, because I had no prior experience or knowledge. Seonghwa took me under his wing immediately, and Woo took me under his as a fellow submissive. 

It wasn’t without hiccups, but I took to it really well, if you ask me! We had some issues surrounding my career as a dom and how that would work, and we ultimately decided to scrap the idea for a while, because almost everything else was going amazing. 

I think I was simply too nervous to dominate Seonghwa because… He’s the oldest, you know? He’s such a good dom himself, and I would compare myself to him too much. I wanted to give him what he needed, but I had to tap out of the few test scenes we did with me as his dom, because it felt bad. He needed a steady and heavy hand, and I know now that I don’t have one. 

As for Wooyoung, he’s way more of a brat than I can handle, and he also tends to need the aforementioned steady and heavy hand. He needs someone who’s not afraid to put him in his place, and my style is just… Not that. I only want to dom in a soft scene where I take care of my partner and make them feel good. Quite simply, I don’t have the powerful attitude it takes to tame a brat; I’m too nervous about being mean or about messing up and hurting them. And even when I did the things he wanted perfectly… It still just felt bad. I didn’t enjoy it. 

So we stuck to me as a submissive, and it was honestly a relief. That part was mostly smooth sailing! Of course we had some things we needed to iron out, like finding out what kinks I even enjoyed, what our expectations for each other were exactly, learning to read each other’s body languages, that kind of thing. But whenever something was wrong, Hwa and Wooyoung were both great at listening to me, taking my words to heart, and changing what I needed them to. I tried to do the same thing for them in return, of course! And they have said they’re happy with the way things are, so I can’t have gotten it all wrong. 

The others feel good about me subbing, I guess? [Laughs] The ones that don't dom have all said they think it's awesome to watch me scene, and the doms all say they think I'm fun and sexy to scene with. And for the record, they also say I'm a very good boy. So those are good reviews, yeah?