#sub phainon

"You should take care of yourself more, phainon. You just woke up and you're wounded." You clicked your tongue at the man in front of you, alternating between staring at his medical report and at his badly injured bandaged body. Top class Esper? Please, all you could see is just another glorified reckless kid with superpowers.

One that an overworked guide such as yourself is not paid enough to babysit for.

"But I got the job done, didn't I?" He tries to muster a grin at you, though with the shake in his voice and the clouded gaze, you know he's on the edge after overusing his powers that much.

The man looks up at you with pleading eyes, breathing ragged as he panted out, "Can I.. get my reward? Please?"

You know it's not a good idea with how wounded he is but it's your job to take care of him when he gets like this. As a guide, you have to be the one to stabilize him, and the others as well. Good grief, when will you ever get your rest?

"You're very impressive, I'll give you that. Holding up your sanity even after you've far overexerted yourself." You hum as your hand glides over his face. The man sighs in content and nods, his eyes closing as he leans into the palm of your hand, trying to be closer and closer to you.

Hopping onto the bed, you slot yourself between his legs. Though, you didn't have to do anything. Phainon opened his legs wide for you before you commanded him to, his hospital gown barely covering his raging anticipation.

"Please.. I've been so good, haven't I?" He gulps, holding back a whimper when he sees you unbuckling your belt. Though, he didn't receive the praise he was hoping for, making him whine at the lack of your affections on him. "..Am I not a good boy? Please, I tried so hard- I took the hardest case they have, I even defeated that monster solo! I-"

"That's exactly why, phainon." The coldness in your voice cut him off, completely catching him off guard. This isn't how he thought things would go, you were supposed to praise him, kiss him, love him, why? Where did he go wrong?

Perhaps it's due to the unexpectedness of it all, or perhaps it's due to his current unstable state that he's so lost. He needs you so bad, why aren't you giving it to him? Are you disappointed in him? Did he fail you? Ah, the thought of it hurts. It hurts so bad.

Your eyes soften as you lean in to kiss his tears, a hand starts to tease his leaking tip as the other puts its thumb in his mouth. "Why did you do it?"

"H-huh?" He whines at the sensations you're giving him. It's not enough, yet it's too much at the same time. He's so overwhelmed by emotions right now it's a miracle he's not going berserk.

"The mission. You know it's dangerous, you know it's powerful. So why? Why did you go alone and put yourself in danger?" A flick of your wrist and his head jerked upwards, more tears welling in his eyes. "You could've been killed. You think getting yourself killed will make me happy?"

"No- No.. ah, I'm just- shit, I wanted you to be proud of me-eEeeGh!" Another flick.

"Do you think I'd be proud of your recklessness? Do you see yourself?" You frowned at his response, grabbing him by the chin to look you in the eyes. You know he means well. But fuck, you couldn't help the anger that's burning within you right now. You could've lost him, if it weren't for Hyacine's skillful hands patching him up. "No matter how strong you are, you're not immortal! You should think things through before you do shit like that!"

Phainon's eyes widened, tears that welled up in his eyes now falling down his cheek. That tone.. Are you mad at him? No, please don't be mad. Please don't be disappointed.. no no no no! He can't take it, no, it hurts so so bad.

"No- don't hate me p-please! I did it all for you— I-" The man choked out, his sobs taking away his voice as he hugged into you, his hands clawing your back to make sure you don't run away. His eyes are starting to swirl, his breathing even more ragged as he starts to hyperventilate. "I- I- I just wanted you- I w- wanted you to notice me..to praise me, I- I don't want you to be taken away. Do you think I haven't noticed?! The way the others looked at you?! The way they touch you, talk about you, the way- No- you're mine, you're mine mine-"

Phainon sobbed out through gritted teeth and choked out words, clearly not in his right mind.

A breakdown.

"Yours?" You mumbled holding back a hiss, letting him dig his nails deeper as he bit hard into the crook of your neck, drawing blood. "Y-you.. really think getting yourself killed will make me yours? Please, you're better than that."

Just a bit more.

You positioned yourself to his entrance. Before you could even reach for the lube on the nightstand, Phainon grabbed your wrist with an expression far from normal. "No- want you- want you so bad! Now! Please-"

And so you obliged, thrusting yourself inside and earning a loud moan from the man beneath you and a deep groan from you. "Hhaaaa, even when you're being controlled you're still as loud as ever."

The man's grip on your back tightens even more than before, sharp nails forming and puncturing deep into your flesh.

Shit, that hurts.

"No- no no nono-OoohhhNGh! W- why? Why do you h-hate me so much? Why do y-y-you want me dead so badly?!" Phainon's blue eyes swirled darker, along with his hair, turning into that of a yellowish shade instead. It's Khaslana, Phainon's power taken form.

He's clearly losing control of himself, shown by the way his powers are activating on you and the way his speech becomes more and more erratic, breathing ragged out. But that means you're close to getting it out of him.

"You really think you could get away? Controlling my esper's body and think I won't notice? Oh please, spare me the details." A particularly sharp thrust into the man has him arching his back off the bed, what was once white now no longer pristine with the spots of blood dripping from your back.

"FUCKOFFFUCKOFF- GET AWAY FROM M-ME I'LL KILL YOU-! DIEDIE- N-NO DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T GO!" He sobs, screaming at you derangedly through his hyperventilation while his hands digged deeper and deeper into your back. He's conflicted, you noticed. Pushing your body away yet claws his way deeper to get you closer again.

"GO AWAY I HATE YOU! NO. DON'T LEAVE ME I LOVE YOU- DIE-"

A special case you've gotten yourself into.

It's true that the man beneath you is Phainon, an Esper under your care. This time, it's Phainon with his mind and body impaired- taken over by something. A parasite, you could say. A mind controlling one, at that.

Dangerous, yes. It eats away the mind and memories of the infected host, blending in and acting like the host as it takes full control of its host's body like an empty shell of a puppet. In the end, they'll end up as nothing more than zombies.

And unfortunately, your dear Esper had caught it. Perhaps it's because Phainon's a powerful one, so even though the parasite that got into his body is fully grown, it couldn't take over completely. You could tell, beneath it all that you could see him struggling against it. Yet at times it's hard to tell which one is the parasite's acting and which one is him.

You had to fish it out, it's your job. But hell, you'd be lying if you say you don't feel guilty right now.

"-Phainon?! Phainon where are you?!"

"Captain, I see him!"

"Shit- He's bleeding out! Someone-"

The scene was chaotic, the sky red as flamed engulfed broken buildings everywhere. Screams of worry from the search party echoed as they searched for one of their own.

There he was, found heavily wounded and his chest torn open along with some other deep cuts on his body, beneath the corpse of a three headed giant mutant. It's a miracle he survived, really.

The team performed immediate first aid and rushed him into the clinic, where Hyacine tried her best to sustain him while Anaxagoras performed the usual procedures, medical scanning and health check up after missions.

"He's what?" Shock is the best way to describe how you felt when you heard the news from professor Anaxagoras, a well esteemed researcher within this field- and also one of the Espers under your supervision. "I know there's no way you're joking but- dammit. Is there nothing we could do to stop it?"

"As I've said, do not panic. I am telling you this simply so you won't be fooled by that.. thing once it awakens with his body. It probably went inside his open wounds after its host was killed by phainon." Anaxa hands you the medical report before he turns around to grab a vial. "As you can see, fortunately for us, and him, he is that of a top ranked Esper which translates to the fact that he's strong. Ridiculously so. Usually these things incubate for a while, hence the camouflage traits it has. But alas, with the old host killed and Phainon vulnerable, it transferred hosts in an attempt to survive. Although this one is mature, having developed itself within the old host's body, It should take a while before that parasite starts to destroy him. Another fortune case is the fact that we form check ups every time, enabling us to catch on to infections like these before it's too serious."

"And this is why I do not want to hear any complaints on why that procedure is a must. However," he continues, dosing a syringe with the liquid of that vial. "We still have to extract it before anything bad happens, it's not worth the risk of potentially having a powerful esper turned into a zombie as an enemy. So that's where you come along."

"Okay, I'll do whatever it'll take to make sure he's alright." You hand out your arm to him as you listen intently, realizing that he's going to inject you. "Is this.. an antidote?"

"..More like repellant and immunity enhancers. We need you and phainon to bond to stabilize him and I cannot risk you getting infected while you guide him. Finding a guide that's compatible with us like yourself is hard enough as it is." Anaxa found your pulse quite quickly, injecting the so-called repellant with ease in one smooth motion. "But this wouldn't be your regular guiding. As much as I do not wish to say this, but you are required to break him during it. The amount of distress paired with the Esper's own immune system should be enough to cause the parasite to suffocate and potentially try to change hosts."

"..And perhaps you wouldn't have much trouble doing so. He's already in an unstable condition thanks to how reckless he was, pushing himself past his limits and now fighting this thing, on top of that."

"Breaking him to stabilize him? Isn't that counterintuitive? Are you serious? Isn't that far too dangerous?" You bit the inside of your cheek, contemplating your choices. "Forcing him to that point is a bit.. if anything goes wrong, it could be fatal."

"I know." The professor simply said as he looked at you in the eyes and squeezed your hand, his gaze filled with unwavering conviction. A rare moment from the usually stern professor. "But I also know that you can do it. It's Phainon we're talking about, If it's anyone who can get him back, it's you. Do you trust me?"

You stared at his reassuring grip around your own hand and then held his tighter before letting go.

"I do."

A sharp cry echoed within the room as you roughly yank something out of the wound on his chest that reopened itself through the bandages, your grip deadly around it to ensure that it won't escape and shoved it into the special glass jar anaxa has prepared for you that was on the nightstand. Oh the hatred you feel for this little thing is immaculate.

Phainon immediately went limp as soon as that thing was pulled out, hair returning to its original snowy white color while looking completely exhausted.

"...I'm sorry." You say, your eyes softening now that everything is over. You pulled yourself out of him and leaned down to give him a soft loving kiss on his temple, noting the way his body twitched at your touch. "You're so strong.. Thank you for holding on, Phai."

With a sigh, you fixed his slightly torn hospital gown and yourself to cover up. Anaxagoras soon entered the room after receiving a message from you, his gaze sharp and unreadable when you handed him the jar of specimen, eyeing the blood seeping through your clothes instead of the parasite.

Before he could even question you, your balance wavered as dark spots started to fill your line of sight before you fell unconscious completely.

The parasite was taken to the lab for further studies, while you and Phainon were brought to the clinic for further examination. Hyacine was horrified when she saw how bad your wounds looked and how much blood you lost, immediately rushing to your side. Anaxagoras just stared at you on the sidelines, frowning when he got a good look at your bare back being treated by the girl and left with an annoyed click of his tongue.

You awoke not long after, presumably a few hours, to a worried team. Even Mydeimos, the man who's usually stern came by your room with concern on his face.

The HQ feels calmer, no more panic searching for the Esper now that they've got everything under control. But it doesn't soothe the worry eating at you from the inside as you wipe down his unconscious body with a warm towel. He's so pale.. a stark contrast to how bright he usually is.

Time passed with you staying by Phainon's side the whole day, holding his hand while kneeling beside his bed looking out for any signs of movement or discomfort. You could barely get a single wink of sleep due to how anxious you are from waiting for the medical results.

"..How is he? We didn't bond all the way through so.. I don't know if the guiding was enough. I'm afraid that he might.. ugh." You worriedly asked the professor, who had been analyzing his medical papers and lab analysis while Hyacine noted updates on Phainon's body.

"No, you did well. The guiding was successful even if you didn't go all the way through, That thing absorbed most of it so that amount of physical contact was enough. Right now he's stable, thanks to your efforts. Our hypothesis was correct, It seems like the parasite unknowingly absorbed the negative emotions from an Esper's distress while it tried to eat, harming it in the process and forcing it to abort. It wasn't too hard to get rid of." Anaxagoras informs you without missing a beat, not even glancing away from alternating between his papers to even glance at you.

"Absorb..?"

"Yes, it's like... A sponge! Think of it as a cup of dirty water and a sponge, the body is like a cup. When we go berserk or have breakdowns, our cup gets filled with dirty water. Usually a guide refills that water with fresh water- overflowing the dirty one and replacing it with your clean water." Hyacine noticed you were parroting the professor, assuming you were confused, and explained to hopefully to soothe your worries. "The parasite is the sponge, it soaks up the water and expands, eventually filling the cup with itself.. The thing is, they can't really choose which water to absorb since it's all in the same cup. Usually it could handle a certain amount of dirty water, but the dirty water from an Esper is far too toxic for the parasite, and even for the Esper themselves."

"And once you took the sponge out there's barely any dirty water left within the cup since it soaked up most of the water, which is why he didn't die. The repellant also worked just as I had predicted, if not you could've been the new host by now." The professor added, now turning his gaze at you. It's cold.

"But enough about that. What about you?"

"..What?"

"I'm asking what about you? You should worry about yourself more, with that sort of wound you could've died. Why didn't you tell me right away? How dumb are you to not do that? You're not an Esper like him, while he has an enhanced body you don't. You're still human. If it were any later we could've lost you."

You were at a loss of words, opening your mouth before quickly shutting it again as the man In front of you scolds you for all you're worth.

"You dare to lecture him when you, yourself, are you any better? I trusted you because you're our captain, I should've known that someone like you couldn't even consider your own safety. What a fool."

"What- it was your plan! I only did what you wanted me to-"

"I never told you to die on me did I? Are you so incapable of thinking for yourself that you're not able to know that 'not dying' is not part of the plan? You're a guide, act like one."

You frown, the guilt of putting Phainon through that already eating you inside, and now paired with the words Anaxagoras are saying to you, the insecurities you've been feeling about your inabilities as a guide are rearing it's ugly head. You understand he's concerned, and you know that he's right.

"Okay.. I'm sorry." You say bitterly, already moving to leave the room before things could escalate further and cool your head. You'd talk it out with him, but not now. Not with these emotions stinging inside your chest.

The room went quiet for a while, the only sound being the constant beep of the monitors. It wasn't long before Hyacine opened her mouth. "Professor... You could've worded that nicer. I know the captain was reckless but-"

"And what are you going to do if the captain died? Then what? Prove that my hypothesis was wrong? That I have to live off with the guilt that I killed them?" The green haired professor couldn't take it anymore and snapped at Hyacine before she could even continue her words, his own guilt could be heard from the crack in his voice. "It was my plan, I was the one who made the captain do it. If the captain died, that would mean Phainon would be taken over by that thing. And I'd be the failure that killed both them."

The girl looked at him with pity, and nodded silently. She knew, even through the harsh words he said to you, he cares. So much that he couldn't bear losing you.

And perhaps, she understands the professor, deeply relating to how he feels.

Because she wouldn't know what she'd do with herself if she had failed you, letting you die in her arms. No, that won't happen. None of them would let it.

A few days have passed since then. You weren't allowed to go on any missions so that you could fully heal. Other than guiding the Espers that needed you, you've been by Phainon's bedside for the most of it.

You stare at the unconscious man in front of you, his face illuminated by the Moonlight. It's night, currently. Your eyes are so heavy. Would you finally be able to sleep this time? How many days has it been since you last slept? Three? Five? A week? You couldn't tell, too out of it to think.

You couldn't hold on anymore as slumber takes you deep inside.

The clinic building was quiet, saved for only the footsteps of the night staff doing rounds. A soft knock can be heard from the room, opening to reveal a familiar pink purple haired girl. ".. Excuse me, captain are you here?" She says as she enters the room. You should be here since you've never left Phainon's side for long since the incident, and it's her turn to do rounds. Perhaps she has an ulterior motive, but alas that motive was quickly shattered when she saw what was in front of her.

There layed your head on the side of Phainon's bed, deeply asleep with a frown on your face. You looked so pale, did you not eat when she told you to? And those eye bags..

But what surprised her was the fact that Phainon was awake, sitting on the bed as he stared at your face before turning to the newcomer of the room.

The next morning you felt your heart drop deeper than it already did.

"I'm sorry.. there shouldn't be any permanent damage- I don't know why this happened. Perhaps the sponge was stronger than we thought. I know I said it couldn't choose which water but-" Hyacine looked down at her clipboard solemnly while Phainon stared at the two of you in confusion, tilting his head so cutely like that. "Oh, hello! You were the one next to my bed yesterday? Nice to meet you."

With how much you've been frowning lately, it wouldn't be a surprise if you got wrinkles because of it. "..Nice to meet you.. too?" You mumbled in confusion, stepping closer to the bed while Hyacine looked down at the floor, too ashamed to meet your worried gaze. The main perks up at your response and grinned, "Apparently my name's Phainon! She said so. What's yours? Oh, I forgot to ask yours too, miss nurse!"

You wished that it's a joke. Hope that it's just a prank. But the horrified look Hyacine has and the clueless one on his own is enough to make your chest sting.

He forgot about you.

Phainon going to your home expecting to watch a movie but he gets stripped and leashed instead (he has discovered something new about himself that day)

ON EVERYONE'S SOUL INCLUDING MINE, THIS IS US yes US AS IN ME AND YOU!!! when puppy phainon is the subject: