#stupid vent

old art whatever

I don't wanna draw today lotta shit goin on yay

my cat ran away I miss him

i'm getting so tired of everything

i'm so embarrassed by this, but my obsession with the pillow my great grandma gave me is getting unhealthy. I miss her so much and some days I cant get out of bed because im clinging to the pillow. It's so ridiculous, i shouldnt be missing her because she was so old, but here we are. It's been years and even to the point where, in 2024, when I went Canada, i cried over the fact i couldn't take him with me bc he was too heavy (it's a weighted pillow which makes things even worse bc i love pressure on my body)

Also, i have a whole persona and name for the pillow...like a plushie. His name is Emma.

WHY IS HE SO FUKCING STUPID???????

WHY DOES HE KEEP MISSING BASIC FUCKING ÞINGS????

WHY IS HE MAD ÞAT AN IN UNIVERSE COMPUTER WIÞ AN IN UNIVERSE KEYBOARD CAN"T DETECT HIS ENTIRELY OUT OF UNIVERSE REAL WORLD KEYBOARD AND INSTEAD REQUIRES YOU TO INTERACT WIÞ IT LIKE YOU DO LITERALLY EVERY OÞER ÞING IN ÞE FUCKING GAME BY PRESSING E????????

WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE LET"S PLAYER BECOME BRAIN DEAD ÞE MOMENT ÞEY GET FACED WIÞ A PUZZLE OR A STORY BEAT MORE COMPLEX ÞAN BREAÞING???????????????????????????????????

Trying to act tough about my dad like I don’t still get terrified every time I hear him yell about literally anything or slam a door

Vent-💙

Updates about my SepDTAu-🧡

That sounds so wrong for me, but my ex partner deals with a lot of depressions and it was a big issue when we still were together . He always had me worrying about him or even crying because I thought I might not see him another day, but sometimes, especially after the days he hurt me, I just wished for him to finally off himself and as much as I wanted it I always got scared having thoughts like that because I wouldn't never wish for anyone to do something so terrible but at the same time i would just get sick and tired after he said that they hurt themselves after raping me cause they can't stand seeing me cry everytime, but at the same time they never stopped when I did cry and would even say that it turned them on, I think that breaking up with him opened my eyes, I started to notice more of the sick things they would do or say that was just straight up manipulation that made me stay with them for so long,

I actually feel so much happier now, I feel like I can finally breathe freely again and that I'm not some kind of puppet being controlled all day long. When we were together, i felt like i couldn't do anything without him like I was nothing, but now i do whatever I want, and when I want and I love being my own person again.

Because of him, I have a hard time bathing myself, but I still try to keep up with my hygiene as much as I can. I brush my teeth. I use deodorant, and of course, I wash my hair. I still take baths but not as often as I used to, I just can't have any lights on, and it needs to be really dark for me to feel safe. But I tend to go to sleep before 7 pm.

We are still friends, we go to the same class i don't mind it, it just pisses me of that he just straight up kisses me on my face whenever I don't pay much attention, when he tries something more I usually just hit him but he also hits me back thankfully it didn't took a wrong turn yet, our friends don't know about the break up I don't want to stress them out about it especially before Christmas, but the truth will eventually come out

I might get an ipad for christmas!! And then, believe it that i will feed you well, especially for waiting so long for me to come back!♡ but if i don't, then I plan on finding a summer job this year and earn it myself because I know ipads cost a lot of money and I don't expect my parents to spend so much on one device for me just so I can draw

Buuut, i can also earn for it doing comissions, so if anyone is interested, I'll be more that happy to make any!!!

Here is my ko-fi page👉👉 Ko-fi

BONUS!!! I started doing fun facts, part 3, and I already finished 3 pages. I will finish them today or tomorrow. There should be 6 in total!

I have so many ideas for animations, I can't wait to do them!!so just wait for my sweet sister-in-law tablet to run before I get you