#stuntikids

So gestalts are clingy. All of them. Even gestaltmates who aren't the clingy type. Hook, all the Stunticons excluding Wildrider and Drag Strip, and pretty much all the Combaticons? If you ever see them sleeping away from their gestalt's cuddle pile then something has gone very wrong.

I can easily envision Scrapper reaching for a data pad infront of Hook and he's straight up plastered against Hook's back as much as he can possibly be with Hook's crane boom in the way. (As much as Hook complains about it, he doesn't seem to mind it much. Hmm, wonder why that is :~). ) Don't even get me started on Wildrider and Scavenger.

In almost every circumstance, Wildrider is consistently found draped over the other Stunticons like a blanket. I once saw a post (or reblog tags) discussing what they think the Stunticons' roles are in their cuddle pile, and in it they said that Wildrider would be ontop of the pile, either laying ontop of everybody or in his altmode. This is just straight up canon to me.

Drag Strip is also touchy, but in a different way. His arm slung around Breakdown's shoulders (which Breakdown is NOT pleased about 'stop it stop it now leave me alone go away stop touching me'), his arms resting on Dead End's head (Id like to think that Dead End is the shortest, and shorter than Drag Strip despite their altmodes because I think DS would constantly mock him about it, and, it makes me laugh), and so on and so fourth.

(In case you're curious, tallest to shortest is MM by a lot, BR, WR, then a gap between him and DS, and a gap between DS and DE. DE is up to DS' shoulder.)

And Scavenger? Maybe it's just me. Maybe. But we all know super he's clingy and needy, right?? His favorite past-time that doesn't involve digging or his object treasures (more on this in a different post later) would be being around his gestalt, and it's pretty easy to keep them around when you're clinging to them like a monkey. I also think that what I said previously for Scrapper and Hook can easily be replaced with Scavenger/Bonecrusher and Long Haul. Mixmaster too, if I'm being honest.

Hell, not even the COMBATICONS are not an exception to this. I'm sure a Combaticon fan can expand on this more accurately (please do this please i like seeing headcanons please), but I think that once they become aware of this.. PDA.. eugh.. they'd try to avoid doing it, but they're. Gestalt. There's nothing they can do to stop themselves from subconsciously doing it short of cutting the gestalt bonds in someway, and, unfortunately for them, they are not aware of this fact. They think they're doing a great job of acting normal, and while they are in the eyes of the average mecha, the other gestalts can see right through them.

ld like to expand on this for the Aerialbots too, but I'm not very Autobot Combiner pilled so it's hard. Sorry. I will say that they are no better than the Constructicons in this, though. They are always touching in some way. Especially Air Raid and Fireflight. They aren't always together, but it's still a mildbsurprise when you see one without the other. Clingy little bird bastards.

This is where the Stuntisitting list comes in. Despite the havoc they like to bring upon the Decepticons, on purpose or otherwise, some of the 'Cons have taken a liking to them, and have proved they can handle them for longer than 15 minutes. So, here's the list.

Astrotrain, and by extension Blitzwing.

Soundwave (Someone has to teach these darn kids), Ravage.

Thundercracker and Skywarp, typically together.

Blast Off, Brawl, Swindle.

And the Constructicons (including Devastator).

Some take up this responsibility more often than others, but this is the general rotation. It all works out great! Blast Off doesnt immediately have a crisis due to Dead End's misery and nihilistic attitude or freak out because of Breakdown's paranoid conspiracy theories ("Sorry, Scavenger.."), Brawl and Wildrider get along like a house on fire ("Why can't we play hot potato with a grenade?? Brawl let's us do it.. >:("), and Swindle and Motormaster are an unexpected "troubled nephew and his rich wine-aunt-uncle" duo.

Then there's Onslaught. Though he would be a prime choice for mentoring these young, inexperienced soldiers, he simply does not have the time to.. "Stuntisit." And frankly? Neither does anyone else. Megatron isnt very pleased that his shuttles, 2/3rds of the Elite Trine, Constructicons, and 4/5ths (Vortex does indeed participate in stuntisitting! He just isn't allowed to be on the list after The Incident.) of those no-good Combaticons are distracted due to keeping one eye on the Stunties and one eye on the battle field, and neither is Onslaught.

Yadda yadda yadda, Onslaught, Scrapper, and whoever else are discussing who they can add to the roster to reduce this issue.

Something something "Of course, I myself unable to participate, but perhaps yaddayaddayadda"

Scrapper absent mindedly responds, "Oh, you weren't being considered anyway"

"..Why is that?"

AND NOW HE HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE. He gets added to the list as a trial run.. and he sticks the Stunties in a boring room with boring data pads about battle tactics and War and being a commander and AUGHHHHH this shit is so boring you cant just leave us here!!! He leaves them there, locks the door, and goes back to his desk to continue his work.

I might go into how they accomplished this more in a different post, but the time has come for Scrapper to pick up his very well behaved kids. Onslaught smugly informs him that all had gone well, he goes to unlock the door, too smug to realize its already unlocked, and calls the Stunties out the room.

Motormaster, Drag Strip, and Dead End come out.

"Bring out the rest of your gestaltmates. Scrapper has arrived to-" "It's just us. "

"what"

"It was just us in there."

Scrapper is looking at Onslaught from the corner of his visor. Onslaught can feel it.

Onslaught ducks his head into the room, confused to find no more Stunticons inside. "Where did they go????" "dunno." "...How did they get out??" Motormaster shrugs.

"I bet youd know if you hadn't locked us in there for five hours.."

☆

Never let it be said that Scavenger is dumb. He may not be as meticulous and intelligent as Hook, or as clever and impressive at networking as Scrapper, but he was made apart of their team for a reason, and it wasn't just because of his sensors. Scavenger has seen a lot of things. A lot brilliance, a lot of death, and a lot of insanity, even before the war. Primus has thrown all that and more at him, and after every hit gets back up and pushes forwards. He perseveres.

So it gives him a bit of pause when he struggles to formulate his next glyphs to Breakdown as he stares at the optics he has just unpacked.

Scavenger asked Breakdown what was inside the crate on a whim. When Breakdown attempted to lie¹ about the contents, he had expected to find some sort of failed gizmos and gadgets made out of parts that Breakdown definitely wasn't authorized to use.

Damn you, Primus, and your amazing throwing arm.

"Oh..! Okay. Those are.. optics! Wow!"²

Breakdown blinks. The ends of his dermas twitch downwards just a bit, and Scavenger knows it's due to the acknowledgement of the existence of optics in general. "I've always had optics."

"..Um, no, I mean these."

"Oh."

Scavenger quickly invents and stops himself from changing his usual demeanor towards Breakdown, lest he scare the mechling off³. Scavenger is tired.

"I had to take them." Some mechs would have scolded Breakdown for stealing and attempting to dispose of useful parts. Those mechs don't know the Stunticons like the Constructicons do. They don't know Breakdown like Scavenger does. Scavenger's scoop twitches.

.

.

"breakdown" Scavenger makes sure to look away from Breakdown, his tone as casual as it could possibly be in this situation, and in that moment Scavenger thinks he hears Primus laughing.

Breakdown squirms.

"who did you take these optics from"

Breakdown shrugs, his gaze locked on the floor. He squirms again.

.

.

Scavenger is very, very tired.

☆

i originally had a whole different reason written out but it was clunky and rambly so maybe I'll post it as a junk post later. Anyway yayyyy breakdown & scavenger content!! my favorite wet dog duo!!!!

1

I saw a HC post (cant remember the OP, mightve been Menasors?) that Breakdown is a really, REALLY good liar... to everyone outside of his circle. He has a damn good poker face, and by that I mean he almost always has the same neutral expression. Just staring into the void.. But the only ones who can really see through it are the other Stunticons and the Constructicons, due to the fact that theyre literally raising these crazy ass kids, so theyve spent enough time to know when Breakdown is inwardly think "oh fuck oh god they know theyre never gonna believe this its over they know everything and *insert very paranoid spiral*"

2

His default reaction was his "youre doing great sweetie!!" demeanor because he did NOT know what the hell to say. i wouldn't know what to day either tbh. whos eyes are those. why do you have them. is the person you took them from still alive??? was it a Decepticon or an autobot?? why did you do this (these are all scavenger's inner thoughts tbh)

3

sometimes breakdown reminds me of a deer and headlights. the LAST thing you want to do near a frightened animal, especially one so skittish and anxious is freak out. that just makes them freak out and then you freak out more and then suddenly youre waking up in the medbay after Breakdown's engine caused your neural circuits to start melting.