#stugan

In the last two weeks, time progressed as it always does. Stugan bumbled along at it’s usual pace; Mentors came and went, we completed play tests, grumbled about the food, and played so much volleyball. Like, a lot. But, I noticed a tinge of sadness began creeping over these activities. I feel like all of us grew very close in those last few weeks. I know that I started appreciating everyone just a little more. 

When working, I also found myself looking out over my laptop screen to the world outside, thinking about the past couple of years as well as the whirlwind of work and fun at Bjursas Ski Resort in Sweden. Stopping and reflecting was an easy thing to do in such amazing surroundings.

I have battled the thought of having zero intellect, no talent, and "being too lazy” for most of my life, both from inside myself and outside. I nearly quit game development entirely in 2016. But looking out that little window over the quaint cabins and lush grass, I felt like a newer, upgraded version of myself. More athletic, freckle-faced, happier, and confident.

Confident. Something I’d always envisioned as being unreachable for me.

But then I blinked. Bags packed, on the bus, leaving. I blinked again, finishing our showcase at the Epicenter, an awesome coworking space in Stockholm. Two more blinks, the finale dinner and a night on a beautiful rooftop bar in Gamla Stan. One final deep breath, and another blink, tears squeezed from underneath eyelashes.

Saying goodbye. Easily one of the hardest I’ve ever had to do.

I’m pretty pleased to report that I’ve had an opportunity to have a good conversation with everyone here! It’s a credit to Stugans process that everyone gets along famously.

GRIMOIRE is coming along nicely, with the Prologue & Chapter One tentatively completed. We’ve also done our first official public round of testing, and we got some positive and constructive feedback! 

Candice is continuing to work hard on the art assets for our game, as I continue writing our narrative and polishing the game so it works well. 

This week we have been lucky enough to have two more Stuganeers join us, some Stuganeers from previous years, as well as two mentors; Petter Henriksson, and Dennis Gustafsson. Both are equally lovely, passionate, and driven individuals that grace the Swedish game industry. We had a great chat with Petter regarding making the game more ‘juicy’ to play (implementing text animations, and making the simple controls of GRIMOIRE feel good). With Dennis, he asked so many questions about our game, discussed certain decisions, and generally just... made us feel really nice about our decisions and direction. 

The talks we were promised have also kicked off in earnest now! The aforementioned mentors both gave interesting talks full of information; particularly Petter. His gave me a lot to think about pertaining to the important decision of whether or not we should approach a publisher to publish our game. Currently we are considering self-publishing. 

I have to say, with each mentor I meet, I’m increasingly more impressed with the Game Industry here in Sweden. I kind of want to live here, someday.

The scenery also helps a lot.

Candice and I arrived in Sweden, extremely jet lagged and desiccated (seriously, why do planes suck the moisture from you?! Weird) on Thursday the 21st of June. We had the pleasure of exploring Stockholm for a few days, and then headed off to Stugan, nestled in the countryside of Sweden. 

We jumped straight into work after a really lovely welcome celebration on Monday evening. We presented our games in short presentations (you can see ours here) the following evening. Before that, though, we spent time chatting, setting up, and doing a bit of work. I have to say as well, it was nice enjoying the sunshine after experiencing early Winter back home in Australia! 

The rest of the week flowed quickly, with a visit from Fredrik Sjöö, the CoO of Avalanche Studios (of Just Cause fame), plenty of videos made featuring Candice and I, walks in the forest, and even a spa night which was as amazing as it sounds!

The level of talent displayed thus far is absolutely incredible, and Stugan has done a great job of picking people who are utterly unique in their skills and experiences. The people here are smart, funny, and immensely talented. It’s rather daunting for two newbies to the industry like Candice and I. But we’re trying our best.

GRIMOIRE is coming along well - this week I spent most of my time laying down the narrative foundations for the game in Google Docs and Twine. I’ve also been taking on a stronger producer role, and directing Candice in what to focus on first (character sprite concepts & environment concepts.) 

One of the nicest things about Stugan is the health benefits. I haven’t felt this relaxed and exercised in a really, really long time. Oops. I really need to take better care of myself back home. The constant companionship of game developers in an office style environment has been surprisingly nice, too.

Certain parts have been difficult, though. It’s hard not to feel like our game isn’t “real” or “valid” - those personally familiar with impostor syndrome will know this feeling well. Visual novels are pretty mechanic-lite, and in certain corners of the internet, they’re not even considered games. Those feelings usually disappear when one of the other Stuganeers asks, sincerely, about your game. Regular discussions about mechanics and design happen, too, so participating in them and being able to hold my own weight (and actually sound like I know what I’m talking about, whoa) feels incredibly validating. 

When the game is out of pre-production, I hope to show off some screenshots!