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so i thought i was being smart by reminding myself that my finals starting tomorrow aren’t actually until 5 pm, and that i’ve gotten through everything else at 10 am. but i think the large break in between i’ve spent leading up to it may be worse for my anxiety since i get so geared up for something and then i abruptly switch to waiting mode
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This late afternoon I ditched study to have a walk.
Best decision of my life.
I don’t know you, but when things feel too heavy and as if they’re controlling my whole life I need something to ground myself back again.
I am in a denial numbness hole about going back to school rn. As I often do when I experience anxiety, I simply shut down emotionally and going into Avoidance Mode (TM), aka watching YouTube for hours on end while playing Minecraft and then hating myself for it!! it sucks so much cause I’m aware of it, but not quite enough to Find a Solution and get out of this mood ;-;
Adulting is really difficult. I've only been trying a month and I'm a flea's knee away from break down. Who knew that simply by adding shopping, cooking and cleaning to a packed study timetable, stress would become so normal? I'm struggling to remember the last time I engaged in any hobby like activity.
I've decided that, in order to take care of myself responsibly, I need to feel responsible. So I'm to become a #sea-monkey-mum. They're in the post right now, in fact. I shall take good care, time and patience to look after my new babies.
My dorm doesn't allow pets, but these critters are less mess than "Hope" my plant, who's dangling forlornly in her macrame hanger, unaware of the joy she brings me. They're also smaller than a die, so if anyone asks, it's a pot of decorative algae.
I will be taking on the responsibility of my new family very seriously, and have been partaking in extensive #sea-monkey research. I'll update you all when they arrive. Stay tuned friends.
🐙🐒🐟🐵
Ok so I've been writing or well rewriting an essay after some corrections. And I figured out that I can't just make corrections. And I mean to say if you give me feedback I will in fact need to rewrite the entire thing. Cause if i just make correction it becomes even worse so I need to strip my essay down to bare essentials and rewrite the entire thing or else it doesn't make sense. On a good day it will seem poorly written if I just do corrections, otherwise it makes no flipping sense. So someone tell me if this is normal.
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Things I'm going to do after I'm finished with my final exams;
- build a cat yard in the garden for my indoor kitties
- play video games and read books all night
- go for long walks in the midnight sun
- get back into a regular workout schedule
- make lots of delicious food
- move my vegetable plants out in the greenhouse and garden
- take a small roadtrip if the pandemic is more under control by then
- not do ANYTHING school-related for two whole months <3<3<3
Petition: when a friend is applying to college or competing in an essay writing competition or trying to land a job, we no longer say
“I’m sure you’ll win.“ “Ah, you’ll get in, don’t worry.“ “They’ll love it/you.”
No. You don’t know that, and if your friends are like me, they hate to hear this. Those comments dismiss the validity of how stressed someone can feel with a false sense of security we both know doesn’t exist. Instead, say
“It should be you.“ “You deserve to get in.“ “You did an amazing job.“ “I hope you get the position.“ BUT “If it doesn’t work out, the world doesn’t end.“
Sometimes, we work hard and yet we don’t get what we want. The world is competitive, the world is unfair. There’s no use in pretending it’s not.
