#studentsofcolor

2017年・3月・31日

I went to high school in a predominantly Asian city, and it was insanely competitive. I was caught off-guard by it, as I had just come in from an IBMYP program in middle school, and I had falsely thought that public high school would be a breeze after that. I was certainly wrong, as essentially every kid I knew was putting in 6+ hours outside of school in tutoring and SAT classes, a time commitment that I had never needed to skate by in school- however, the pressure from a lot of their first-gen families had them passing me up.

It was kind of a crazy and weird experience, and the first time that I really felt “othered.” I tried to separate myself from the other Asian kids, play up my “whiteness,” because I felt like it was the only identity I could embrace compared to all of the other Asians that felt so much more “Asian” than me.

Fast-forward to college in Indiana, where I suddenly find that I’m the “token Asian” in any given friend group- and I realized very quickly that I’m not as white as true white people, either. I spent last year in a kind of identity crisis, cut off from Asian influences that I hadn’t realized had so pervaded my life. I took Korean as my foreign language, as I was able to test ahead, but I found it full of Chinese international students and white fetishists with two other biracial Koreans.

I started asking myself deep questions about who I am and where I fit in, as I started to embrace more of my Korean culture in an attempt to reclaim what I felt that I had lost. The Asians back home had assigned me a white identity. The white people here assigned me a Korean one. And I was stuck feeling like I deserved neither.

I’m still figuring it out, but I’m also starting to really learn and discover what it means to be biracial. I’m learning that it’s really a new kind of experience, and I’m currently starting the process of mapping out a new script that draws on my experiences as a biracial Asian in the Bay Area. 

- Submitted by @asugarplumfairy 

Calling all STUDENTS OF COLOR!

This network is specifically for people of color (PoC), especially students. Here’s how to get involved:

1. Tag your studying related posts with any of the following:

#studentsofcolor #studyblrsofcolor #PoCstudyblr

2. Submit/send in an anecdote of what it’s like to be a student of color:

Here’s how to submit! 

Read existing submissions here! (Warning: explicit mentions of racism)

This network/tumblr can be joined by any people of color, whether you’re in the studyblr community or not. 

Please reblog to help spread the word!

More than happy for you to submit if you are mixed.

Meet Carolin Moreta, Machias. (Part 2)

When I met one-on-one with Carolin, president of the Black Student Union at the University of Maine Machias, she apologized to me. She said she isn't usually as pessimistic as she felt that day.

“I have a strong character, and I like to show my character, and I like to be me. When I'm not able to be me I feel really limited, and I don’t like that,” she said. “I definitely feel very oppressed sometimes, after being here [in Maine].”

Carolin is a first generation immigrant from Lawrence, Massachusetts, born to Dominican parents, who grew up in a neighborhood where everyone was either Dominican, Puerto Rican or black. Her first experience in Maine, at a boarding school, ended abruptly: “I didn’t know it was going to be such a culture shock...I didn't feel smart enough at all. My values were different than other people’s values, I spoke differently, I didn’t understand as much, I just felt inadequate. And it would all build up. And it all built up until the day that I finally was kicked out.”

She came to the University of Maine Machias, motivated and looking for redemption, after being recruited at a college fair. Despite her high G.P.A. and dean’s list status, the lack of students with a similar background to hers started to wear on her. Carolin recounted a few experiences when she felt singled out or othered, once by a police official who visited her class and told her that the state’s drug problem was attributed to out-of-state students, which she felt meant “brown or black people.” He also told her that she could return to Massachusetts if she didn’t like Maine. At the beginning of the academic year, she said she was confused for another student of color who looked nothing like her.

“It’s just a matter of people getting to know other people and feeling comfortable speaking about race, because this place, you know, with the migrant workers with people coming in, I feel like it is getting more diverse,” said Carolin, “The community is recognizing people coming, but I don’t feel like they’re knowing what to do. They’re just staring and assuming.”

Meet Carolin Moreta and Travonne “Trey” Thompson, Machias.

Carolin and Trey are president and vice president of the Black Student Union at the University of Maine Machias. The group started three years ago when black students felt they needed a support network, and it meets weekly with a university facilitator to plan events and spread awareness on campus. Although both share the commonality of being students of color, their experiences living in rural Maine differ greatly.

“It’s going to sound weird, but I’m from Florida,” said Trey. “I would much rather deal with the people up here, that are white or not, than people from the South. Because up here you’re going to get what you get.”

Trey played basketball in high school in Melbourne, Florida, and competed in AAU. When it came time to choose a college, although he had offers from schools in California, Georgia and Texas, he decided to come to Machias because he knew he would never otherwise live in Maine and he wanted to give it a try.

“I have a high GPA, I’m a Dean's list student — but I don’t know — at first it was good,” Carolin said. “It’s a small school. I was able take on roles that you wouldn't be able to take on in bigger schools. But then it started to catch up: I'm not around people who are like me.”

Carolin was recruited to come to Machias, she said, by the only person of color at a college fair who approached her in Spanish. Despite a rocky experience she had as a student at a boarding school in Maine, she told herself that she needed to come back to Maine and succeed.

I met up with Carolin and Trey in Machias, after Carolin had told me about an incident that happened during a basketball game at Unity College the day after the U.S. presidential election. Trey was on the court. Unity fans often use duck calls to cheer (or jeer) during games.

“I heard something else than a duck, and I was like what is that noise?,” Trey said. Then it struck him: “There's no way. There's no way that's a monkey call. I heard a monkey noise, and...I’m like, that’s a monkey noise. And they’re obviously making them because we’re black.”

Other inappropriate comments were made during the game and Trey had difficulty identifying who was making them. “After finding out it was 7 or 8 people...I was more composed, but in my mind I’m thinking, if this is a big group of people, and at any given moment they want to rush the court and do something to us, we can’t do anything about it.”

After the game, players from Unity apologized for the behavior of some of their fans. A few students also came to the locker room to give the Machias players hugs.

The racist comments by the fans are being addressed through the college judicial system, said Sarah Cunningham, chief student success officer at Unity. She said she couldn’t discuss the details.

“It’s important to us that people do know that doesn’t reflect our values as a community. We take discrimination very seriously,” she said. “I hope the students of Machias know that we didn’t ignore what happened. If any of them are unhappy with our response, we’d love to talk with them.”

After returning to campus Trey admitted that he felt hurt by the experience and did not talk about it with anyone at first. But after he spoke with his coach and the university president, and after conversations between leaders at both institutions, Trey felt supported by his university community. Despite his mother’s wishes that he return to Florida, Trey decided to come back to Machias after the winter break. He wants to finish his degree in Maine.

“I think Maine is an amazing place. I've been to Portland, I’ve been to South China, Maine, I’ve been to Presque Isle — literally every school in Maine — Husson, UMO (University of Maine Orono). I’ve never had a problem here,” Trey said. “If someone, for example, were to come to Maine that night, to that game, and not have experienced anything else outside of that, they would have had that same mindset for the whole time that they’re here. But for me, luckily coming to Machias first, and then going around for the last year not experiencing that, and then coming that one bad time — it kind of, for me, outweighed that one bad time — the good times — to come back to school and play basketball.”