#student struggles

this happened to me a few days ago. I had an economics A exam. i suck at economics and have been trying to improve since last year. i studied the entire night but had a panic attack in the morning. I felt as if I was dying. decided not to go for the exam. had a huge fight with my parents over this—they yelled and scolded me for not giving the exam and I just couldn't stop crying. I was on low sleep and high panic. My professor is one of those teachers who will taunt your entire life if you don't do well in his subject, i never performed well in his class and now I didn't give the exam. What do I do? I feel really scared and guilty.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: when panic attacks derail your plans (you're not a failure) :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

hi sweet angel!

first off, welcome to my little corner of the internet! i'm so glad you found me and that you love it here 🤍

now, let me start by saying something really important: you are NOT a failure. you didn't "give up" or "quit" ~ you had a medical emergency. panic attacks are real, they're serious, and they're not something you can just push through with willpower. my dream is to become a psychiatrist so ANYTHING related to mental health especially panic attacks are VERY important to me. i am SO sorry you had to go through that.

i need you to hear this, missing an exam because of a panic attack is the same as missing it because of a broken leg or food poisoning. it's a health issue, not a character flaw.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ let's address the panic first ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

panic attacks are absolutely terrifying, especially when they hit right before something important. that feeling of dying? completely normal for panic attacks, even though it's scary as hell.

your body went into fight-or-flight mode, probably from the combination of: ⋄ sleep deprivation ~ this makes anxiety SO much worse ⋄ academic pressure ~ especially with a subject you're already struggling with ⋄ fear of judgment ~ knowing your professor's tendency to be harsh

your nervous system basically said "nope, we're not doing this today" and shut down. that's not weakness! that's your body trying to protect you.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ dealing with your parents' reaction ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

i know their reaction hurt, and i'm sorry they responded with anger instead of concern. parents sometimes react badly when they're scared or don't understand what's happening.

they probably saw it as "giving up" because they don't understand what a panic attack actually feels like. that doesn't make their reaction okay, but it might help explain it.

when you feel ready, you might try explaining: "i didn't choose not to take the exam. i had a panic attack and physically couldn't function. this is a medical issue that i need help managing."

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ next steps ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

talk to your professor ASAP ~ i know he's intimidating, but you need to address this head-on. be honest: "i experienced a medical emergency on exam day and couldn't attend. is there a makeup option available?"

get documentation if possible ~ if you can see a counselor or doctor who can document your panic attack, that helps legitimize your absence

contact student services ~ most schools have accommodations for mental health emergencies. they might be able to advocate for you

don't let fear make decisions ~ the longer you wait to address this, the harder it becomes

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ managing the shame and guilt ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

that guilty feeling? it's lying to you. you didn't do anything wrong by having a panic attack. you wouldn't feel guilty for missing an exam because of the flu, right?

the shame is probably coming from:

feeling like you "should" have been able to push through

fear of judgment from your professor and parents

internalized beliefs about mental health not being "real" health

all of these feelings are understandable, but they're not based in truth.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ preventing this in the future ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

address the underlying anxiety ~ consider talking to a counselor about test anxiety and panic management strategies

change your study approach ~ all-nighters often make anxiety worse. try shorter, more frequent study sessions instead

practice panic attack management ~ breathing techniques, grounding exercises, having a plan for when panic hits

get academic support ~ tutoring, study groups, or different learning strategies for economics

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ reminder ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

you studied all night. you TRIED. you wanted to succeed. the fact that your body couldn't handle the stress doesn't negate your effort or your worth as a student.

one missed exam doesn't define you or your future. i promise you, this feels much bigger and more catastrophic right now than it actually is.

you're dealing with a lot, academic pressure, unsupportive responses from family, a intimidating professor, and your own mental health. that's genuinely a lot for anyone to handle.

be gentle with yourself right now. focus on taking care of your immediate needs, sleep, food, hydration, and addressing the exam situation when you feel more stable.

you're going to get through this, angel. 💕

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

xoxo, mindy ♡

03.09.25 Wednesday

✔️Studio Class 🧵 & About 1h of additional studio time before class: Jumpsuit pattern finished & all parts for the dress pants prototype are cut out in fabric

✔️3h tutoring shift: helped out a small group of people with textile technology exam prep (the course is like the prerequisite of the prerequisite of the prerequisite of the course I’m currently taking, and I actually do remember stuff ✨✨)

✔️Sociology reading & related quiz done. And I started on the topic-related forum post, but that did not go terribly well so far lmao

✔️Banana “cheesecake” low-calorie version cooked. Haven’t tried it yet, but it looks and smells good

✔️Dishes done

this is gonna sound absolutely unhinged but i'm genuinely addicted to climbing the leaderboard on my study app and it's done more for my grades than any amount of parental pressure ever did.

let me explain lmao.

i used to open my textbook, stare at it, feel my soul leave my body, and then dissociate on youtube for three hours. studying felt impossible and lonely and like screaming into the void with zero feedback on whether i was even doing it right.

then leaderboards entered the chat and suddenly studying became a GAME.

every problem i solve gives me points. every lesson completed makes my rank go UP. that notification saying "you jumped from 156th to 98th!" hits SO different than any grade weeks later. it's immediate, it's visible, it's happening NOW.

and here's where it gets fun: i started recognizing usernames at the top. there's this person "ChemistryNerd2024" who's ALWAYS top 5 and honestly they're my nemesis slash inspiration. don't know them, probably never will, but their existence pushes me to do better. it's like having an anime rival except we're fighting with physics problems.

the app breaks leaderboards down by subject so i can see where i'm crushing it (english lit babyyy) and where i'm dying (math why do you hate me). instead of general anxiety i have SPECIFIC data on what needs work. vague dread becomes actual strategy.

oh and there are REAL PRIZES. weekly winners get free premium stuff. monthly champions win tablets. annual top performers get SCHOLARSHIPS. i'm not studying for some abstract future, i'm competing for stuff i can win TODAY.

plot twist: the app rewards consistency not cramming. it's not about one all nighter, it's about daily streaks and sustainable habits. i'm on day 47 and lowkey terrified of breaking it which means i study even on lazy days.

another plot twist: i've made friends?? there's a chat feature and some top students share tips and we've formed this weird supportive community. studying isn't lonely anymore it's actually... social??