#stuckonyou

Siofra, just like everyone else, went through some heartaches too, but the heartache that she believe will never heal, it’s when her parents left the living world.

And with so many underlying factors, she ended too a year long relationship even before the pandemic hit the world real hard.

While stuck in the Pandemic situation, she met the artists that eventually help her get through the difficult times and entertained her by their music and inspiring stories. Azk in particular, caught her attention, his eyes gives so much mystery. And so she started to get to know them, she found out that there are so much similarities between her and Azk, from his beliefs down to some life experiences, his life though seems more sad and somewhat, really hard, he went through so much difficult phases in life yet he remained optimistic, he’s really strong, he’s so admirable, an inspiration.  And she eventually became a fan, even joined Azk's server around Aug 17th of 2021… So much things happened after, but let me jot down some part of her…

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12:42 AM · Sept 16, 2021

Something suddenly came to her tho she’s not sure yet. But whether her instinct is correct or not, she accepts and likes Azkal as who he is, and nothing will change.                                                                        There are times that she also misjudge someone, if there’s any goodness in it, it’s when the truth’s found and realized she’s at wrong. It gives her life lesson and help improve herself as a person with humility and compassion.

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1:24 PM · Sept 20, 2021   

There are times she can’t explain or express well her admiration to Azkal, words seems not enough how she really likes him, his personality. Nakakalunod yung wonderment nya sa pagkatao ni Azk, this may sound too much or unbelievable but really, if only someone would seriously take a look at Azk’s deep personality, him being himself, they’ll understand what she’s saying. But only very few look at him the way she sees Azk. She just wish for the world to see the greatness in him…

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4:03 PM · Oct 03, 2021

No matter how busy she is with her personal life, there are some moment just like this time na parang she feels so empty, she suddenly feel sad for a reason that she can’t think of, but then.. she figured it out - miss nya lang pala si Azk. It’s really unexpected, how his group became part of her life. “Thank you for being you, thank you for your existence Azk” - That’s what she said. She always wishes all the good things and success for him. She’ll support and will love him and his bros. in any way she can.…

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12:03 AM · Oct 07, 2021

Just when she thought she already knew why she likes Azk, new reasons always comes up. Yung appreciation ni Azk in almost everything and everyone is sometimes unbelievable, it amazes her. He takes extra effort to get to know his fans in any way he can to extend his appreciation, yung basta may malaman lang sya sa fans nya, maiparamdam nya na he cares. Grabe yung fan service ni Azk, and she’s out of words… She loves all about him, his personality and his all being. Sana makita din ng iba ang nakikita nya kay Az, so he can receive the respect and love he deserve.

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9:01 PM · Oct 11, 2021

So apparently yung biglang kaba na naramdaman nya kanina is for Alpha, nagulat din sya sa sarili nya, who would’ve thought na yung ni hindi nya napapansin dati, she’ll learn to like eventually. And yah, he found his the one. Sabi nila, since Dec. 2020 pa daw sila or even later than that pa. Nakita lang nila mga recent updates sa mga posted IG story nung kasama nila sa Siargao. Yung una is when they touched down Siargao and nahagip ng video si Alpha na naglalakad kasabay yung girl, then the “talk” started there… She’s genuinely happy for him, as a fan admiring an artist like him, though nagulat din sya sa sarili nya na naramdaman nya yun, na mejo na-hurt sya. How much more pa kaya kung kay Azk na? Or maybe she’ll just be completely out of words if ever, she’ll be dumbfounded, her guess. Guess she really needs to slow down on fangirling and face her own. It’s funny, that kind of admiration to a person/artist she don’t personally know or never have seen yet - it’s a “first”, a new experience. Unfortunately ‘coz all of this, she’s unintentionally pushing away someone worth spending time too. Krazy. But I guess what makes them special for her, it’s because she met Azk and his group during the most depressing time, and they were there to cheer up her mood every time.

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1:48 AM · Oct 15, 2021

Those who came way before her are taking a halt, even admins from some fanbases. She understand their sentiment, they said they felt betrayed, that Alpha should’ve been honest to the fans from the very start, na dapat naging honest sya sa mga interviews pag natatanong ang tungkol dun. She can agree to that context, but if the rumor is true; she also understand what could be the reason why Alpha hid it, that if it’s true it’s ‘coz they were just starting then, and they need all the support they needed. It may sound like the fans are being used but that’s how it is, they’re in an Entertainment industry, how Show business is. She wonder, is that why White lies exists? Siguro dapat since itinago naman na nya sana naging discreet na lang din muna, until solid na penetrated na nila ang Global stage. She certainly believe kaya naman with the strong support ng fans. Sa mga interviews nila, they always say naman na they believe na hindi pa sapat yung kung nasaan man na sila ngayon. She thinks they’re just out of focus at times, nakakalimutan nila yun sa araw-araw, they’re busy, exhausting ang work. If they want the global stage they should consider all the factors, not just about their performances and contents, gawin nilang motivation yung drive and strong will nila when they were just starting - na gagawin ang lahat maabot lang ang dreams nila. Somehow, bigla syang nakaramdam ng doubt, if they can really make it big, in world arena. Need ng fans ang cooperation from them, that includes on how they act infront of the camera. Still, she prays for that, they love their fandom, aware sila na without the fans they can’t make it to where they are now. But when Son posted a tweet na “wala siyang pakialam and hindi sya namilit na sya ang bias” - like…   Alam naman nya like he always say, na kailangan nilang alagaan ang fans nila, and respect their feelings as well. Siofra knows and believe him on that, But what Son said contradicts to what he always say, and with what happened today, she’s just in big disbelief, makes her wonder if Son is really being true to his words. She just hope mali sya. All eyes are on them, they should always be careful on what they say, “nagpapakatotoo” doesn’t always have to be taken and shown that way, words can hurt and leave a deepest scars for life. She hopes hindi sila sumuko gaano man ka-toxic na minsan ang ibang fans, and she hopes too they can endure the toxicity and still trust the fandom’s love for them, para sa pangarap nila, sa pangarap ng fandom para sa kanila..

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2:51 PM · Dec 14, 2021

Azk took a video while driving, with a bgm of Ikaw Lang and he posted it as his IG story. The fans rumored that he’s not the one who took the video as the shot is so stable and also how the camera was moved down to end it. They also said that Tin was the one holding the cam and playing the bgm, as the one displayed on the car stereo is the song entitled “It’s You”. Siofra’s agitation faded upon knowing it, as she thought that Azk was the one taking the video while driving and it’s not safe. Azk has been preparing the new place/condo. Tin also mentioned in one of his stream that he too will be soon moving in a condo and will be living out from his parents yet he can’t live and sleep alone. Listening to the “It’s You” song, it’s like a proposal, and she can’t help to feel a little hurt while listening to each words of the song. She’s just weird and foolish and so it hurts her a little and she still thinks at times it’s unbelievable, but it’s what they feel, it’s not like it’s something that one can control. Besides, it’s one of her wish for him, And as long as he’s happy then she’s good, that’s all she wanted for him, genuine happiness, no more pain and sufferings for Azk…

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1:23 AM · Dec 18, 2021

Her mind keeps saying No, and the mind keeps convincing her heart, there are moments that she thought the mind succeeded, but guess not. ‘Coz she misses him just the same, miss him even more, the mind keeps thinking of him…

3:02 PM :   Their moments that they care to share with their fans is a constant wake up call for her, an undeniable truth…  He’s too fragile, and precious. She wishes that the number of his genuine supporters would grow and bigger, supporters who’ll care and protect him. She’s too worried for the current number of supporters he has. Her wishful thought; may it come to him that in a world where he is right now, he needs to consider their fan demographic; capture their hearts in any way he can to increase his number of supporters, the truth - he needed it. Thus, he needed to be tougher than before, it’s true that one must always be as who he is but with the career that he has chosen, that’s the price he needed to pay, he worked really hard for it and he needs to protect it. He’s in a different type of game and he needs to play it very smart if he wants to stay on top of the game, to stay in that world. Given with their current influence and popularity, so as what the saying goes, “Strike, while the iron is hot”.

She can’t put the puzzle pieces together about what happened with Azk’s friendship with Son but it seems like there’s awkwardness between them, the supporters noticed it, and sadly it’s creating a faction within the fandom. And since Azk has a strong and tough personality, he’s always mistaken that he’s at fault and it’s really unfair to him, really unjust. Though she’s guessing that Son, being somewhat spoiled, could be one of the reason why a possible “cold war” exists between them, and both have strong personality too. Or is it coz of someone’s between them? Jealousy? Jealousy is a very dangerous feeling, and it will grow in you if you’re lack of confidence or if one don’t trust at all his/her partner. How we react on what we feel is the most difficult thing to control, one must have a very strong mind to do so. Artists need to balance and control the feelings especially when in front of the camera or at work. She just hope she’s wrong and there’s really no conflict between the two, and wishes that the relationship of the group that she came to admire not just because of their talent but also because of the admirable brotherhood that they built, be back to where they were, back to the days when they can resolve issues over sincere talks, when they’re still just starting to reach for their dreams….

8:15 PM :   Siofra watched Azk’s Holiday mv, she felt sad, it evoke nostalgia to her. She don’t know how and why the two idols’ became so distant with each other, one who sees things more than what the eyes can see, can tell. She has a trust in her fave, though there’s no interaction seen between the two in the mv but her idol seems, somehow, attempted to do an adlib by reaching out and tried to go beside Son but the other’s just seems too distant, the way she sees it as portrayed in the mv.  How complicated it is that Son can’t make it work even just for the sake of their profession, for their fans who believe that everything is alright within the group, for the believers of their bond as brothers. Others can’t see what she sees - it’s good but also bad, really sad.  Indeed no one can’t force anyone to be okay if they’re still not okay, but how she wishes they talk it over, just like how they used to do back then.. Or was she just overanalyzing things and she’s just being too much? This is just all in her head yet her heart is already torn, and it’s like she can’t watch them anymore working in pairs, with division. How lovely it would be if they’re in their respective likes/partners alright, but the brotherhood is still there, or when just working at least. She really hope they can fix it, for their own inner peace…

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8:16 PM · Dec 20, 2021

They went live on Zepeto app, Alpha started the live with 3.2 viewers, went up to 3.3 during Omega’s broadcast, and went up to 3.4 during Son’s, then it dropped down to 2.9 when it’s Saoirse’s turn, with only 2.2 viewers during Azk’s. Obviously all the Son’s stans left and did not even wait for Saoirse and Azk’s turn. Siofra thinks the fans are being unfair. It maybe too shallow to others but it actually shows how the fans are being divided. Guess she’s too immerse in it, when she started it for her to be entertained and be inspired. And it’s not like she can force them to like the same artist that she want, it’s not like that. It’s there prerogative. Siofra thinks she’s investing too much emotion to be affected like this, and it’s too much..

She support them in any way she can especially Azk, but it’s not like there’s anything that she can do anyway, not in any of help.  Maybe, it’s time to at least take a break from that space, if not to stop using it, the holiday is just around the corner anyway and it’s keeping her busy. She will never leave Azk, she can still get an update and follow her fave’s events and achievements thru other means anyway while taking a break from that space. And staying on it makes no difference, just the same. A constant check some times would do.                        Siofra has no idea what happened on why Azk’s number of active followers decreases (in twitter at least), when she initially entered their world, Azk had the most number of active supporters in that space. She even noticed some of Azk’s dedicated fanpage that she used to follow, closed down, others went on IA after the Siargao vacay, only those that are consumed by shipping are so active on posting new updates about him/them, but their ratio to the number of active fans are so small. I guess that’s really how the entertainment world works. …Typically you march to the beat of your own drum, but in a world where he’s in right now, he needs to dance with the given rhythm. He need to be wiser and smarter as he already are, to capture more hearts that’ll support him on winning the game he chose to play. Siofra has a strong believe that Azk can do both while staying true to himself. We cannot please anyone, it’s a fact. But artists needs to please casuals to turn them into a fan, a sad fact,  as they play a very important role, fans are the ones who holds the artists’ career.  What she really wants, her wish right now; is for Son’s stans to open their hearts and mind to Azk.

              |       SIOFRA’S MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE    | 

8:29 AM · Dec 22, 2021

I suddenly woke up around 4am, with a feeling that the “connection” I had with Azk, is gone, like I can’t feel it anymore, maybe bcoz the main reason while I felt the strange feeling is ‘coz I can relate to him somehow, but how it started is unknown to me. Literally and figuratively awake, I accepted the fact. I feel so empty.

9:59 AM :   There are like this moment that I feel a very strong emotion, a sudden thought of him rushing through my mind, it’s suffocating,..

10:44 AM  :    So strong it hurts, like a heartburn…

2:42 PM  :  - Love Yours …                     

How’s your day my fave? I wonder what you’re doing right now. I just listened to your group’s new collab song with the SK artist, ang ganda ng song. To me every song where your group is involved, will get you lss. And ang ganda ng pasok ng rap mo, your skills keeps on improving, always better than the last. How can someone who loves you not be proud of you, I miss you even more…    

6:53 PM   :   I don’t know why there are times that I can see in your eyes what you feel.   When you’re sad, sometimes even when you’re being jealous, that you can’t hide it even in front of the camera, esp. when it comes to him. I can perfectly understand you on that. You’ve been through a lot, so much. Betrayed and hurt so many times, so when you met him, you’re just in awe. Someone understands you and being kind to you, It’s like something that you’ve been longing to have all your life, So when you finally have it, you’re just too afraid to lose it. We are all like that anyway, who would want to lose a precious possession? And sometimes because it’s too precious, we tend to become greedy of it, we don’t wanna share, always on guard.   Just be cheerful always my fave, especially with all the people around you, not just with him, it’s time for you to feel these. Just be at ease, trust your brothers, and him.                                                                                    This “connection” to you that I feel, it seems slowly fading away, like a parallel world slowly crumbling down, I’ll miss it… You are my favorite person, and will always be…

9:37 PM  :   A thought suddenly came to me, but if this sudden thought of why Son is acting up, is because he don’t like the idea of Azk and Tin being together, If that reason is true, then Son is indeed just another spoiled one, and it’s not good. Azk and Son both went through hard times in life. The difference is, Son though struggled financially and grew up without his parents beside him, he spent his childhood in an environment full of love and care thru his grandparents and cousins, and everyone around him loved and cared for him. Unlike Azk who lack in both aspect growing up, sadly. That’s why Son has bubbly and cheerful personality, but I believe it’s his normal side, being an introvert that he claim, I guess that’s when they’re in front of “new people”, he grew up in a rural area like he always mention in their interviews, so living an urban life and meeting loud persons intimidate him somehow, I think. I hope he’ll come to understand them, the lovely friendship that they had will continue. Jealousy. But then again this is just a sudden thought that came to me, it’s weird and I really hope it’s not true, for my fave’s sake…

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11:40 AM · Dec 24, 2021

The context of genuine happiness depends on someone who feels it. For someone who’ve been through a lot, went through sorrow and pain, laughing and smiling is just “that’s it”, that the smile and laugh that comes due to certain reason/s at particular time or coz of certain person and that’s it - but it’s a gold for them. My wish for you now my fave, is a peaceful heart for you. May you and your brothers have this and may you all be happy and continue to be in harmonious relationship, a strong bond of brotherhood for a lifetime…

|                2022                 | 

11:34 PM · Jan 03, 2022

It’s the last day of voting for them in an award-giving body that gives back to charitable institutions. This is also the last day that I’ll use that “space”, I’ll never open it again, for it only mocks me, with all the updates - truth about them, and it still hurts me.. I hope the day would come soon where I’ll just laugh off whatever feeling I have right now…

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11:54 AM · Jan 10, 2022

Something re-ignited in my heart as a fan after watching their group performance last night so I tried to open ‘that space’ one more time .. and I saw a post of their group picture and then - the safe distance that’s always between Azk and Son since the later months of 2021, it becomes normal to others but it gave a very strong sadness to me. It struck the weirdness in me: that “safe distance” is literally in them… and it makes me really sad… But though I'm no longer an active fan of his group, my admiration for Azk never fade, I'll be his forever fan. I may not be as active as his other fans but I'll support him in any way I can, I'm silently cheering him on. I pray that all his desires and best things in this world be poured on him, and that he may have a peaceful heart for the rest of his lifetime...

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2:47 PM · March 04, 2022

I know I shouldn't, but what can I do, I miss you, every single day...

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11:00 AM · April 02, 2022

So I left for a few days to breath as I felt suffocated at times, there are moments that I just want to cry for no clear reason. I easily cry even for any movies I watch, being dramatic for no reason and it frustrates me, I can't understand what I feel. So I took a break from everything for a week, so much things happened during my absence, from my online pals to my fave. For others they might just give it a cold shoulder, listen as someone confide then go on with their normal life. Not me tho, as I treasure friends, the emotional bond so much that I'm easily get affected with their own worries or issues. At kung kelan nagka-time kami ng mga frnds ko to go out for days finally, saka naman na finalize event ni Azk, and then when the time that I thought makakahabol ako for at least a slot for his merch that day bago kami umalis na-move naman sa ibang araw yung scheduled slot reservation, ibig sabihin hindi talaga for me. It's meant for those who will be inspired more by those special things, kasi even without those, my support for him is just the same, hindi naman nakasalalay sa kahit anong bagay. Thankful pa rin ako na naka-join si ol bestie ko si ate J naman naka grab ng slot for that.

My OL Bestie : my emotion was in a roller coaster as I br her DMs in discord. On how frustrated she was dahil sa "magulong process" (as she described) ng arranged events for the members of our ol supporter group. Then as I continue to read on, I'm a little sad to know na sa ganung issue, sa sobrang sama rin ng loob nya siguro, she said she's leaving the server. Nalungkot ako na kaya nya iwan si Azk ng dahil dun, I empathize on her but I'm sad to know that we don't have the same concern and love for Azk. I remember nung araw before I took my break, I told her my wishes for Azk, how I dream big for him and na sana dumami pa ang supporter ng page nya, I actually disappointed, hindi ko in-expect ang sagot nya na she prefer to have a small number of server members kasi mas malaki ang chance na nakaka-interact sya. I explained but I don't want to push my belief to someone who has his/her own, dun lang magsisimula ang pagtatalo at nakakapagod yun. I know how she loved him so much too, pero magkaiba kami how we love someone we care and maybe, maxado lang akong nag-expect na pareho kami kung paano tingnan ang buhay in general, and how to genuinely love someone, dun siguro ako mali that's why I expected something from her and so the disappointment. At yun nga dahil masama loob nya, hindi na raw sya nagpasa ng video for the "secret project" para kay Azk, sa sobrang secret sa kanya ko lang nalaman yung project ng Mods, but I guess it's okay kasi sa dami ng gusto ko naman lagi sabihin kay Azk, a video greeting of just a seconds long won't be enough. Good thing, everything ended well for her, nung tinanong sya nung isa sa mods kung nakasama ba sya or hindi since gusto din nila xa makita, sabi nya hindi and I don't know how they "fixed" it, but that was that. Sabi ko nga kay ol bestie roller coaster of emotion ako as I br sa gc namin, sa mga nangyari, sa mga hinaing nya, I wish na sana I was there but I'm really glad our other frnd was there for her, napakalma and na-cheer nya sya, at pinaka maganda, everything went well in the end.

Azk : I saw few posts from the previous topics before I went on IA from that space. One from those is a posted tweet from his friend Kit, siguro sa iba wala lang yun, over protective lang siguro ako para sa post nya na "eew at Joblo" for me it's like he's teasing Azk, and I hate it. I don't like his personality actually, and it'd be a long narrative if I jot down here why. Ang sensitive ko siguro maxado when it comes to Azk, kasi ang dating sa'kin ng post na yun ni Kit, nababastos si Azk, ayoko syang nati-treat ng ganun, oa lang talaga ako kasi okay lang sa lahat, ma-drama lang siguro ako at sensitive pagdating sa fave ko.

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10:00 AM · April 03, 2022

My ol bestie can't contain her excitement sa 1st group gathering mamaya, she'll be attending na and I told her na she should prepare well as I'm sure Azk will be there. I told her my instint a week ago and even the possibilities of his own crew to help him on his vlogs, sabi ko I think they will be with him to record the behind the scenes of special events. It's all based on my analizations and my ol bestie gets too excited for the idea na she will finally meet him.

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08:00 AM · April 04, 2022

Tinawagan ako ni ol bestie, she opened up to me what happened on their fanmeeting, She did not hesitate to share kasi a week before the event, I already told her na malakas ang kutob kong Azk will be there. So ayun natuwa lang daw sya kasi sabi nya ang galing daw, nung time na sinabi na daw yung YT comeback ni Azk ako agad naalala nya, eh kasi naman one of his new crew kept on giving clues, that's why I picked up the pieces and put together the puzzle. So she shared her experiences, her happiness, what happened during the event. I'm happy for my fave and wishing a successful comeback for his vlogging journey. It was a fun gathering and I'm happy for them, sa mga fans na mas tumibay yung support sa kanya because of that.

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5:00 AM · April 07, 2022

Eto na naman ako sa pagiging OA ko. Kasi naman yung mga Au readers and writers pinag-fiestahan yung "pa-massage ng behind nya" which they meant na sya ang femme side sa mga shini-ship sa kanya and the way they talked about it is parang sila na ang nagdesisyon sa pagkatao ni Azk, pakiramdam ko nababastos sya. Tho in reality it doesn't matter kung totoo man o hindi na xa yung femme side sa isang relationship, but in the open, sa career nya ngayon, it shouldn't be treated like a normal thing to talked about his pronoun, unless open na yun in public, these fans, if they have genuine concern for him and on his career they will avoid these kind of talks to avoid a possibility na ma-fish ng casual or potential new fangirl, really.. Everytime nagpapakalat sila ng ganung side or image nya, they need to consider these possibilities for new fans/fangirls who likes him as how he's being presented/promoted, malaking demographic sa fans are girls, he needs it, sana dumami pa ang magkaroon ng genuine care sa kanya, in fact I'm seeing a lot now compared before, and it's a good thing kaya sana wag naman mabawasan pa or baka hindi na madagdagan. Parang ang iniisip lang kasi ng mga shippers yung napapasaya sila sa ginagawa nila, but how about their muse? Tin's team didn't bother to edit out yung captured convo ni Son at Alpha since bg voices/convo lang sila sa main na nag-uusap which is sina Tin at Omega. It's a funny, normal convo between them, that's why Tin even reposted the said clip on his space. I think hindi naman sya big deal talaga, kaya no need to edit it out ng editor oa lang siguro talaga ako sa pagka-protective sa kanya at sa image nya as an artist, yun kasi main source of his income and fame sa ngayon, kaya ganito ako ka-oa sa image nya, well this is all just in me, I can't do anything naman kasi to protect him, lalo lang mapag-uusapan at baka maging issue pa ang hindi naman dapat, If I voiced out my worries. Ewan ko na rin. Kaya minsan nirerendahan ko na sarili ko for being too much on worrying about him, parang hindi na healthy.. But I can't help it, I care for him too much, my fave. I was drawn to his beautiful eyes - as his eyes seems seeking for a deeper understanding of his whole being, initially yun ang reason, but what really makes me love him even more is his personality, his outlook in life, the way he carry himself and tough out life's challenges, and knowing all he went through, his life story, makes me want to hug and console him. Yun siguro, I don't want him to feel the pain and sadness ever again, 'coz I know exactly how it feels. Hindi biro ang mga pinagdaanan nya, you'll really be inspired by his will to survive in life. I always say that he's an epitome of inspiration and that is really true, in all aspect. Kaya ganito ako ka-protective and concern sa kanya. He's admirable, it's just too sad na nakasara ang mata at puso ng iba sa kanya, but I really hope na dumating yung time na makita rin nila sa kanya kung ano nababasa ko sa kanya, yung totoong sya, beyond the toughness we see on the outside. He's amazing person and this is not over-rating him, this is the fact about Azk, my favorite person…

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09:53 AM · April 08, 2022

After a few days break, it made me ealize na oo nga naman, bakit nga ba kailangan laging pummikit everytime di maiwasang makaramdam ng sakit or everythime I think my feeling is too much, bakit hindi ko na lang i-enjoy yung moment being his number one fan, a loyal fan, just like how I was before everything confuses me… I admit nakaramdam ako ng selos about DB being his crush, ang oa ko when in fact anyone can even have so many crushes as we want, just how I also like Alpha. Saka kung si Tin nga seems fine with it, why won't we as fans? Besides, now that I have a clear mind, a collab with her and Azk is a good thing kaya hopefully magkaroon, she has a huge following in SocMed and it'd be a big help for my fave. Pero kung papipiliin between DB and JL, I prefer JL, DB knows how to play the game and she's playing it well. I remember nung napansin ko si ate J sa server, how she gives strength sa mga server members, I approached her and thank her for being like that, then our friendship started there. When I opened up to her how I wish na sana dumami ang mga loyal fan ni Azk, she told me that she's not too at first, then made her realize how important it is, not just because you are a "fan", and then from there we already have the same wish for my favorite person and hopefully, dumami pa kami na merong ganung feeling for him, kasi deserve ni Azk, deserve nya ng genuine love and protection, care that he's been longing. I love him so much, he deserve everything good in this world, and so much more.

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06:35 PM · April 18, 2022

Kaya pala I feel the emptiness again. It hurts me but I guess that's it. Maybe it's really time for me to go back from where and how it all started - how I just simply admire a man with a beautiful heart and a fragile soul, so precious and how so amazing he is. I will never leave him, I maybe get too busy soon but will stay and continue to cheer him on the sidelines just like before, before everything confuses me...

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June 12, 2022 10:47 AM 

It was still a good day tho don't have much time as I was busy preparing for today's celebration, no time to spill my thougts and feelings, and tho it started with a little winced yesterday when opened the account again, just a few scroll but account ni R ang nakita, nakafollow pa nga pala ako sa kanya closed it, but after a few hours decided to post anyway, yun man lang, kahit maliit lang ang reach, but a 2 or 3 persons added at least, perhaps, may maambag man lang ako since I can't be there. Nakaka-disappoint man ang big fanbases but that's a different story. I unfollowed R, ang OA ko ba, hindi naman kawalan ang isang follow di ba, marami naman na syang followers, you also have to help yourself, remove things na nakakapag tanggal sayo ng peace of mind, sometimes we create our own problem without realizing it, saka pain din naman talaga, nasasaktan ako xempre but I want my fave to be happy, I stayed solely for him. Hindi man ramdam yung presence ko, ayoko pa rin yung parang iniiwan sya. The second time that account left unattended, I felt sorry, hindi sya kababawan, I understand now why others choose to close instead of just letting an account stay untouched. Now that I felt it again, 'coz it contains all my thoughts and hearts poured in it, holds all the feelings, stories, shared in it. Most especially it was created all because of my favorite person, and letting it there like a forgotten favorite thing, makes it look like a lonely soul floating in mid-air. Every journey has an end, so I guess, it's Siofra's final stop.

One more day, just after the game at least, then she will be put to sleep for a long time. Marami naman syang supporter's with big account, mas malawak ang reach, and also gives him inspiring words. I can continue to let him feel how loved he is, na marami sumusuporta sa kanya, hindi lang sa Twitter, it's just not good for me for what I feel right now, it just gives me pain, ganun talaga pag mahal mo, nagiging parang ma-drama sayo lahat.

My fave, I'm really thankful sa opportunity na sinama sila ni Anne sa CB con nya. Ang ganda ng perf as usual, they tried to balance their range sa vocal range na nilalabas ni Anne, mejo may struggle pero ang galing pa rin as usual, tinaas man ng little higher ung key, nag-palit din pala sila ng lines pero naitawid naman lalo na ni Tin.. Ang galing ng fave ko, I'm so proud of him, the concert was a good opportunity to show what he can really do. Sana more of like this pa for him, deserve nya, sobra. I'm really happy for you, more opportunities, chances and blessings pa for you as you deserve...