Searows after writing music that reminds me exactly of my favorite black-haired, doomed by the narrative, gay fictional sorcerer suguru geto:

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Searows after writing music that reminds me exactly of my favorite black-haired, doomed by the narrative, gay fictional sorcerer suguru geto:

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Gojo’s beliefs of “when you die, you die alone” & “there is no curse more twisted than love”.
We know these were his personal beliefs. At least the latter was confirmed by his own mouth as a personal theory in jjk0. What he told Megumi during the 1on1 training wasn’t a lecture but a piece of advice for how he hoped Megumi could overcome his limitations. It must’ve worked for, or been personal to, Gojo himself who reflected on how this was inaccurate in ch236.
It got to thinking about how he came to believe these. It’s normal to philosophise following personal experiences and form our worldview. So within the context of the world in jjk, here are my reflections, right or wrong:
Okay so the official translation released today of Chapter 236 right, and we got this panel:
Satoru tells Suguru “I don’t feel lonely now”, which contradicts our understanding of his character a bit. We all believed that he felt lonely because of how isolating his powers are, and that one of the driving forces for becoming a teacher was so that no one would be alone like he and Suguru had become.
Well, we were half right. Remember this panel in Chapter 220?
When Satoru said he won’t leave anyone alone? I thought he’d been talking about the way he and Suguru both felt. Nope. Turns out, it was solely for the way Suguru turned out.
By admitting to Suguru in Ch236 that he wasn’t lonely, he’s revealing that his sole motivation for being a teacher and making the decisions he did was to prevent anyone ending up alone and broken like Suguru had.
And that notion is 100x more painful.
Isn’t it something that when they were together, Satoru relied on Suguru to be his moral compass? And then after he left, he dedicated his life to atone for leaving Suguru alone, once again relying on him to shape his decisions and judgement?
It was all for Suguru.
Just some thoughts about satosugu and how they both interpreted their separation.
It’s highly likely that Geto didn’t realise how important he was to Gojo. I made a blurb on Twitter/X about how I feel that Geto wasn’t a reliable narrator in that sense, but I feel the need to expand on it a bit more.
We now know that they both felt like they’d been left behind. I’ve talked about it before, and it seems evident that they left a wound the shape of each other in one another when they separated.
We know Geto’s intentions with leaving Gojo behind. The kind, polite, gentle Geto who always treated Gojo lovingly - pushed him away to a point where he thought he was unforgivable - thinking they were ex-best friends in his conversation with MimiNana. He shot him down in a way he never did before - “how arrogant,” he said - asking him of his identity, to think about his purpose and cautioning him not to be used. Turning away before Gojo could protest, to convey they were going on separate paths - a “do not follow me”. He gave him his blessing to kill him - showing that he understood there would be meaning in it. The recent JJK exhibition showed that Geto was drafted by Gege in the KFC breakup scene to convey that he thought it would be ok if he was killed by Gojo’s hand. Adding that Gojo should be careful not to kill anyone else but him.
The two presenting interpretations are - 1) just try to kill me alone amongst all these ppl with your overwhelming strength; or, it could also mean, 2) make sure you stay on your path until you decide what you wield your power for (although Geto already decided for Gojo who mustn’t follow him).
For 1) Geto supposedly hated monkeys, so Gojo unleashing his power shouldn’t be a bad thing. But that would be a bad thing because then Gojo would be another curse user like him who killed innocent people. So this demonstrates that Geto had Gojo’s self-interest in mind.
For 2) Geto turned away and gave Gojo a final lesson - to wield his power for the greater good and to not kill like he did. Don’t be a monster like him and he gave Gojo is permission to kill him. It wouldn’t be bad to die by his hand. That Gojo shouldn’t kill anyone unless they were at least as evil as he. Again, this demonstrates Geto having Gojo’s interests at heart.
Thus Geto foreshadowed his fate when he said to Gojo that it would bring meaning to kill him - Gojo was the only one whom he would let stop him. The light novel insinuated that Gojo had to be the one to carry the curse that was Geto Suguru too.
Gojo seemed to understand what Geto meant and decided for himself not to kill him then and there. And not for 10 years. As a reader we know he could’ve. But what did Geto understand and take from it all? Was he a reliable narrator?
Geto was surprised at the end of jjk 0 - that Gojo still had trust for him. The way he phrased it in the original Japanese seemed rather self-deprecating. It goes along the lines of, “to think you still have that (trust) for the likes of me.” And how can we forget the impact of Gojo’s last words... Geto was humbled by it and I HC he was careful all the way not to curse Gojo. So he said, “At least curse me a little at the end.” - as if to say, instead of the love you’re giving me, I know I deserve to be cursed for hurting you. I’m sorry.
So we can kind of see that Geto did not perceive himself as loved as he actually was by Gojo. He looked regretful here as he reflected on their friendship as aforementioned with MiniNana:
Gojo understood that he shouldn’t follow Geto, but we now know he actually felt left behind. In fact they both felt left behind by the other. And they both wanted to catch up. One was early and one was late... curse and blessing, absorb and repel, etc. I think we all are familiar with certain themes by now.
Gojo respected Geto’s need to walk separately and protected his love and desire to keep Gojo on that path. He allowed it. He could have taken the words of make sure you “kill only me” as a reason not to fire into the crowd, or he could’ve applied it to all humans, because this was what Geto also taught him earlier on.
But we know Gojo had the power to just grab and kill Geto on his own, ambush him at any time in the 10 years, and so also just plainly not regard those rules. In fact in jjk 0 Gojo talked about siding with Okkutsu with the higher-ups because he wanted to allow overwhelming power to be understood. His risk to make. So, from Gojo’s point of view that Geto might not be aware of, he took those risks upon his shoulders as the strongest and the executioner of the school, and let people like Yuta and Geto and later, Yuji, live. So just like in Shibuya, we also know that Gojo actually will take calculated risks and make sacrifices. If there is meaning. He determines it himself.
This being me to this point:
Kenjaku had access to Geto’s memories and from there, he devised his plan in further detail to trap Gojo to seal him in the prison realm. But he only knew what Geto knew.
He wasn’t wrong that Gojo fought best alone. We don’t know if he could’ve learnt to fight with someone alongside him, but perhaps after Toji, he didn’t see the need to, and preferred to “risk himself” seeing as he could be invulnerable with limitless, and he would be free to go all out with his destructive power.
Here we see him infer that Gojo would be deterred by the presence of humans - the possibility that there would be casualties. He is also not wrong, but we can see that this was based on Geto’s assumption - that he was in the way. He believed he was in the way. We don’t know why Gege scrapped the draft, but that was Geto’s intentions: to keep Gojo righteous. Not to follow him.
He was willing to damn himself in his friend’s memory so he wouldn’t be dragged into hell too. We can imagine that he felt left behind by Gojo in strength especially since Gojo also pointed it out in their exchange. He thought he wouldn’t be treasured in his friend’s memory, although he treasured Gojo (wearing the Gojo-kesa and also his views on loyalty through calling Yuta a “womaniser”). So I think he felt like he would be easily discarded by Gojo once he left and hypocritically pointed him in the other way, especially when Gojo let Geto decide for them both him just a year ago, and didn’t kill the people clapping at the hideout.
Someone pointed out that Gojo’s love was “I’ll go wherever with you and hold on forever” and Geto’s love was “I’ll let you go, and it’ll hurt but at least you’ll be safe.”
Sigh.
Whatever it was, he believed Gojo spared him because there were people present when he walked into the crowd. Stalling for time allowed him to get away.
Not believing that Gojo was conflicted and wanted Geto to live … or “come back home” like his character song given by Gege. He did the same thing in jjk 0 when he cautioned Gojo not to approach him because his students were “in his range”. So he must’ve believed it was a deterrent for Gojo.
Geto did not know how Gojo took the breakup scene or how he interpreted his words of parting.
To him, and to Kenjaku, the tactic of stalling for time allowed Geto to walk free. Human lives could be used against Gojo. In the 10 years, maybe Geto thought he was useful in getting rid of curses, etc. so he was left to his own devices. Gojo never came to execute him. We don’t fully know, but we got a glimpse of what Geto assumed - their friendship was but a precious memory and there was no trust from Gojo left. And though Geto heard Gojo’s confession at the end of his life, he was never to know that Gojo’s love actually ran that deep - because he was also surprised at the airport scene.
He did not know that Gojo felt left behind. In fact, the readers only found out a recently in chapter 261.
Gojo thought about what Geto positioned him with (who are you, the strongest, for?) and concluded that being strong wasn’t enough. He couldn’t save Geto who did not want to be saved. Did not want to be helped. Did not want his help, despite being the strongest. Gojo was not taken along. Wasn’t allowed to become a monster too. Geto would not use him. He could have all the strength but also not achieve or have what he really wanted. He was left behind. He could not catch up.
And then this from much earlier on has come to make even more sense:
That Gojo was trying to turn his grief into something that could bring him meaning and keep/respect his friend’s wishes alive in his life.
And by trying to retain Gojo’s righteousness, Geto had made himself all alone. Geto felt the need to go all by himself (much like their disagreement in HI “you lonely? Go by yourself.” “I hate righteousness - it’s for the weak.”) and cut everything off, including his parents and sorcerer family.
I don’t think Gojo particularly wanted to be left behind. He just… tended to listen to Geto’s wishes. Even Yaga questioned him, I previously thought he was asking why didn’t he chase to kill him as ordered, but some are debating this, saying it was more “why didn’t you chase after him?” (Why don’t you go with?) And Gojo replies, “Didn’t you hear?” (I’d been left behind). Who knows.
He came to believe that love was the most twisted curse.
Why?
Because love led Geto to do what he did and defect.
Because love made Geto turn away and not to bring him to hell.
Because love led Gojo to honour his friend’s wishes even if it pained him.
Love led them to love each other from afar.
Love was a curse that hurt each other and themselves…
…because they do it all out of love for the other, beyond the love for themselves.
Nevertheless: They were now both alone.
Over the years they tried to change that, being surrounded by others, family and students - but they had an empty seat with each others’ name on it. And they had ended up not being alone - just lonely.
He probably knew Gojo could have chased after him to kill him, but his main interpretation seemed to be what Kenjaku believed - he clung onto the principles of “protecting humans” first and foremost. Gojo ended up doing the 1% of his predictions and opened his domain in a calculated risk.
Interestingly Gojo asking Ichiji about the humans subjected by UV (before the fight to his death with Sukuna) reflects the side he lived protecting,
and Geto asking about his sorcerer family before his death to Gojo reflects the side he lived to protect.
The whole “counterpart” theme runs so deep: early & late, curse & blessing, absorb & repel, yin & yang, black & white... even down to the part where Gojo asked about the humans before his fight with Sukuna and Geto asking about his sorcerer family before his death. It demonstrated who they lived to protect and how one needed the other to survive (without humans = no curses = no need for sorcery).
Geto just was never really aware of how much Gojo loved him, perhaps because Gojo only realised it after he left. That love led them both to keep doing what they did.
That love was indeed a twisted curse. Because they loved the other so much that they’d sacrifice themselves - the very object of the others’ affection, hurting one another as a result of it. To love the other was to curse themselves... which then cursed the other.
In this twisted world...
Gojo was the only one who could save Geto and Geto was the only one who could save Gojo.
There would be meaning to it. Gojo was at Geto’s end.
Will we meet again? - the lyrics of the song goes. Geto met Gojo at the airport at his end.
Geto showed Gojo love and compassion - saving his soul.
Gojo showed Geto pure and unwavering love - saving his soul.
I’ve blabbed enough now... thanks for making it until the end.
Thoughts/Ponderings/Musings on ch 236. About Gojo reaching Sukuna, his death, his relationships, etc.
I know there are people who really dislike the characterisation here, expressing that Gojo is likely far more kind and caring for his students, etc.
Gege and his infinite wisdom over his creation seems to like encouraging headcanon kaisen, lol. He certainly keeps things quite true to life and allows the reader to make their own conclusions.
It is not my place as a casual reader to judge his writing, and I will defend it inasmuch as I also had hoped for more: Just because it isn’t explicitly said, doesn’t mean those things we have seen about Gojo aren’t true. I agree that it is also a shame that more wasn’t or couldn’t be included in this chapter to either dispel or confirm, but that’s masterful writing in itself, I guess.
I take small refuge in my interpretation that this is a glimpse of a conversation; as in real life, we ease into conversations. I enjoyed the dynamics and overall tone. I like to remember that each expression was a decision made, and these details can hold a lot of weight in meaning.
So we see that Gojo prefaces with something else and was responding rather specifically to Geto’s question regarding his fight, his end.
Geto, a natural conversationalist, who is said to be good at being at Gojo’s level, enquires about his fight - entering into neutral territory after Gojo expressed frustration and being stunned after his sudden arrival there.
Geto reads him / the atmosphere well and responds to tune the conversation to a level he can reach Gojo, despite possibly having a lot to say and catch up on himself. (Like, we never hear him talk about his family aside from confirming they escaped.)
He is showing respect for his friend. What do they have to rush for, anyway? I don’t think there is a specific afterlife if they chose to go south. Time may be infinite?
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A lot more under the cut. Feel free to skim and apologies in advance for tangents. I hope it makes sense overall. I tried to make it as cohesive as possible despite being lengthy.
:: Beware the Word Vomit, overall reaching, meta, interpretations, some satosugu shipping, and general weaving and stringing of themes. ::
Disclaimer: I’m fully aware I may be wrong, as I am with many things, and you’re welcome to drop me any comments or thoughts.

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SATOSUGU MITSKI ANALYSIS BY ME😈
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this took me so long because if I think too much about mitski in general I can’t breathe😜
I highly suggest listening to the song on repeat while reading this, it enhances the comprehension and suffering <3
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A Burning Hill - Lyrics:
"Today I will wear my white button down
I'm tired of wanting more, I think I'm finally worn.
For you have a way of promising things
And I've been a forest fire; I am a forest fire,
And I am the fire and I am the forest and I am the witness watching it,
I stand in a valley watching it, and you are not there at all.
So, today I will wear my white button down.
I can at least be neat, walk out and be seen as clean.
And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep and I'll love the littler things.
I'll love some littler things."
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ANALYSIS
"Today I will wear my white button down"
This is the KFC breakup. Today, Suguru is healing. He is giving up everything he's ever had and defecting from Jujutsu Tech. It's his turning point. He's letting go of his old life, closing all the doors to open new ones. His white button down is this new, free version of himself that isn't controlled by the system & forced to watch his friends die anymore. The tone and mood of the song is melancholic and bittersweet; Suguru has been/is grieving over this loss that he is about to experience by leaving, but the point is not to be happy, but to be free. Of his own inhibitions as well as the higher ups. This violent change, this new path he is forging for himself is the opposite of linear, and in leaving, he is letting go of his soul mate. It's hard. But necessary.
"I'm tired of wanting more, I think I'm finally worn."
Suguru is so emotionally and physically drained. Shifting the timeline to before his defection, Suguru was having a horrible time. This life he led at the school, it was slowly enabling his death. He was rotting from the inside out. All there was to life as a sorcerer was cruelty, death, and the inevitability that tomorrow would be no different than yesterday. Exorcize, Absorb, Repeat. Suguru was bone tired. Tired of seeing his friends die. Tired of not being able to do anything about it, even as a special grade. Tired of being told that it was all in the name of saving the helpless. This sickness, this rotting within him had finally crossed a threshold after Riko (rip).
"For you have a way of promising things"
Satoru was the last thread holding Suguru to Jujutsu Tech. Satoru was Suguru's person. His one and only. How nice life would've been with Satoru at his side. The yin to his yang. The two strongest sorcerers. This dream of a future with his other half was beautiful and so, so tempting. But the reality was that this future was never possible. Not as sorcerers in their timeline. Not when they were being used and thrown around by the system. If there was any one person who could've stopped him from defecting, though, it would've been Satoru. In the end, Suguru's love for him took precedence over his need to be together. Suguru chose love. Love over the promise of a future with his soul mate.
"And I've been a forest fire; I am a forest fire,
And I am the fire and I am the forest and I am the witness watching it,"
Flashback again. Suguru was rotting from the inside out. He was losing control. He was depressed and descending into madness. Riko’s death, combined with Gojo’s death & resurrection, had completely flipped his life over. His mind capsized and he lost faith in his once strong ideals. The anger and confusion and negativity were pouring out of his body and suffocating him everywhere he went. He had no control over his life, his friends' lives, and even some of the non-sorcerer's lives (Riko). He was becoming every cursed spirit he absorbed. He was inhaling the negative energy. He became the negative energy. He was surrounded by the negative energy. He was watching the negative energy eat at others, too. Everything was out of his control and he couldn't take it anymore.
"I stand in a valley watching it, and you are not there at all."
While Suguru descends further into madness after Riko's death, he compares his grieving to Satoru, who used his trauma to get stronger and develop new techniques. Suguru knows that Satoru compartmentalizes by hiding his feelings behind playful smiles and silly remarks, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. Satoru can get through this, but Suguru feels as though he cannot. He cannot put himself through another friend's death on account of "justice" or finishing jobs the "right way". This is where he realizes that their paths must diverge. The end of their time together as the top sorcerers is in sight. Suguru knows he must leave Satoru behind. Satoru is strong enough the push past this and make a difference as a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Suguru being there would only be a hindrance, a complication that would hold Satoru back. Satoru is no longer a part of his future in the way he wants to be. Satoru might hate him, but it's for the best.
"So, today I will wear my white button down.
I can at least be neat, walk out and be seen as clean.
So, flashing forward to KFC again, their paths separate. Suguru has salvaged and remade some small part of himself. He is no longer Satoru's moral compass, he can't be. In doing so, he has let go of expectation and started listening to his heart instead. Suguru's being seen as clean is him finally standing up for his true self. He knows that this road he's heading down will lead to his death, but at least he is fighting for himself and those he truly cares for. For Satoru. This truth is all he needs to accept his inevitable death.
"And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep and I'll love the littler things.
I'll love some littler things."
After KFC. Suguru starts his cult and gets the cogs moving for his plans. He pushes himself like he always has, but instead of saving those helpless against curses, he's against them. In this, he believes he is saving Satoru. Suguru's new life will go on until it doesn't anymore and he has come to terms with it. His life is his now, he can make his own decisions, and that is what matters to him. In the end, he had to let go of the biggest part of his life. The biggest love of his life. It was not easy to leave, and there is a gaping hole in Suguru's heart where Satoru belongs, but Suguru can deal. It's worth it if he can try to save Satoru instead, even if he despises him. He also started to love some littler things (mimiko and nanako) before he passed. In the end, he was driven by anger and hate, but amongst it all was the creation of those feelings: love.
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Wow okay everyone please go drink some water, head outside & reconnect with nature after this (I need to)
Please comment your thoughts down below, I would love to hear all the different interpretations y’all have!!!