#stranger things rant

not in a “it was all terrible” way.

but in a “how did we fumble THIS many narrative balls in the FINAL season of a billion-dollar show” way.

and it all starts with:

⸻

THE HOLLY WHEELER PROBLEM

i said it.

i meant it.

i’ll say it again louder for the people in the upside down.

the holly plotline was useless.

not “bad.”

not “poorly acted.”

just… narratively unnecessary.

she had more screen time than half of the original cast.

HALF.

characters we’ve known since season 1 were standing in the corner like forgotten coats while holly and her little stranger squad were running around having their own side quest.

and for what?

what did it actually change?

remove the holly plotline and you still get:

• vecna

• the final fight

• the upside down

• the world ending

but suddenly you also get:

• more time for mike

• more time for will

• more time for joyce

• more time for literally anyone who mattered

they said they were “circling back to the core themes.”

FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE PREVAILS MY ASS.

this season was:

doom

gloom

crying

death

suffering for no actually reason

apocalypse

action packed bullshit

⸻

HOPPER SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD

i love hopper.

he is a king.

he is a dad.

he is a real life hero.

but.

HE. SHOULD. HAVE. STAYED. DEAD.

bob’s death in season 2 hit because it told us something:

no one is safe.

that’s what makes horror work.

that’s what makes you hold your breath.

now?

steve falls off a TOWER in season 5 and i don’t even blink.

i was like:

“he’s fine.”

because he is.

everyone is.

they have so much plot armor they could walk into the sun and come back with a mild tan.

when everyone is guaranteed to survive, nothing feels dangerous.

and when nothing feels dangerous, nothing feels important. Or real!

hopper staying dead would have:

• raised the stakes

• fixed the fear

• and forced eleven to grow on her own

which brings me to—

⸻

LET ELEVEN BE A PERSON, NOT A PET

this is not about ships.

do not come in here with that energy.

jane needed independence.

she needed to exist outside of:

hopper

mike

the government

netflix’s marketing department

kali should have lived.

period.

eleven could have escaped.

built a life.

been a person.

instead we got:

more suffering

more trauma

more reset-to-factory-settings arcs

girl has been through ENOUGH.

⸻

THE WILL BYERS SITUATION

they should not have dragged will being in love with mike this long.

there were two options:

1. follow through

2. shut it down early and give will a new love interest

they did neither.

they just let him suffer in the narrative corner for five seasons.

and that robin pep talk?

wasted time.

led nowhere.

gave him false hope.

then did nothing with it.

you know what that time could have been?

what were all those clues? those glances? the touches? the tension?

all these for a big Nothing Burger!

THE FINAL FIGHT.

people are not wrong when they say the final battle was barely longer than will’s coming out scene.

priorities were in hell.

⸻

CONFORMITYGATE AND THE MARKETING MACHINE

netflix knew this was controversial.

they fed it.

they promoted it.

they tweeted about it.

because controversy = clicks

clicks = engagement

engagement = money

we are not viewers.

we are metrics.

we are little corporate pawns in netflix’s chess game.

and they’re playing 4D chess with our feelings.

⸻

BACK TO HOLLY (BECAUSE I’M NOT DONE)

they aged her up.

ignored her canonical age.

made her important.

why?

new kids = new audience.

but what was their actual purpose?

“to merge the worlds.”

okay.

why.

how.

to what end.

no answers.

Pure aesthetic, zero explanation.

we didn’t need 12 new characters in the FINAL season.

we needed:

the kids we started with.

that’s it.

⸻

IN CONCLUSION

the choices this season were… interesting.

that’s the nicest thing i can say.

this could have been a beautiful, focused, emotional ending.

instead we got:

corporate storytelling

safe decisions

marketable drama

and a finale that felt like it was trying to please everyone and satisfied no one.

anyway.

i’m going to go lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling now.

reblog if you agree.

reblog if you’re mad.

hating dustin or thinking he's annoying for how he acted in volume one/will probably act in part of volume two is actually so strange to me. his best friend/mentor died and now people dislike him because his trauma is actually affecting him and he isn't the comedic relief anymore? trauma is processed in different ways, and it isn't always going to be in a way that is considered 'good'.

no, he doesn't have a right to take his sadness and anger out on everyone else, but expecting dustin to be perfectly fine after seeing someone he looked up to so highly die in his arms is insane. The Party treating him like he's in the wrong is also frustrating, but hopefully dustin and The Party will start to communicate.

I know Steve is meant to be a character that brings more whimsy to the show and his comedic lightheartedness & comforting earnestness is a big part of his allure and a necessary reprieve when things get serious but this show is at its best when it prioritizes balance and humanity rather than leaving characters in their defining boxes. They've done this subversion with tropes, esp in Steve's case which i adore but I wish it applied more often to the portrayal of the weight/repercussions of characters' experiences. So for example letting more serious characters like El or Will goof around is necessary but also so is letting the comic relief characters like Steve or Dustin or Erica leave that role, however briefly, to have their struggles and traumas be taken seriously. Steve does get that on occasion, like in s5 with his Dustin Eddie conflict but it's rarely about what he's personally been through.

This isn't to say that I didn't like the russian bunker scenes/episodes or think it was entirely tasteless and out of place that they threw some comedic absurdity into those moments, or had steve cope with humor bc it's in character and I do love a lot about the scoop troop basement nightmare. Or I don't mean to negate that he's a tough kid with an impressive ability to bounce back. But a torture hostage situation where he was bound and helpless and visibly terrified while brutalized and drugged (mostly alone too because he was separated from Robin and took the brunt of the aggression) at the tender age of 18 would have and should have fucked with him (and Robin) more long-term, not just in the moment. It's not something you just get over even if the severity of what you went through doesn't hit until later. It's not just your average ass kicking.

I feel like the Duffer brothers and Netflix only want queer people to exist with their consent. Vickie was made to be queer, Robin was made to be queer, Will was made to be queer. But when a character takes on a life of its own and begins to be queer, they're no longer allowed to do so. Gays are fine in small doses, but when beloved characters begin to exhibit queer traits that's when it becomes a problem. And dare I say, this problem mainly began back in season 3.

In season 3 we see Max and El create this bond, this deep joyful bond. They get along more than El and Mike ever did. Their chemistry was off the charts. They smiled when in each others presence. While when El and Mike are in the room together it feels stiff, like all of the air has been sucked from the room. It's awkward to watch these two supposed Partners Interact.

On the adult side of season 3 we see Murray and Alexei, who both come together in this sweet relationship. they're so close, and at the fair they seem to be having what can only be described as a date, the type of date giddy teenagers go on. Murray and Alexei seem so queer that I can convince myself there's no way either are canon straight.

and in season 4 this persisted. Eddie Munson is queer. there's no way around that. there's no conceivable way you can tell me that is a straight man. His manerisms, the way he dressed, the fact that he's an outcast. Alternative subcultures are full of queerness. Outcasts are queer. People like Eddie aren't often straight. And hell, whens the last time you saw a straight person play DnD?/j Eddie had this chemestiry with Steve and yet we were given a prequel book (The flight of icarus) and the only fathomable reason I can think of that they made this book was to convince people that Eddie Munson was a straight man. He's dead. We are never seeing him again, what harm could it have done for him to be queer? I'll tell you. its because he was queer towards a beloved character.

Steve Harrington is a textbook case of compulsive heteronormativity. Steve was hawkins high's golden boy, he was the son of rich parents, he had a smart girlfriend. and then he lost that. He slowly became less of an ass, and started finding himself. Steve's character could be aided by him coming to terms with queerness but no. he's straight. Why? Because he's a fan favorite. This issue persists. Fan favorities have to be straight, no matter if their fanbase is predominantly queer. Queerness is alienating nowadays. You'll loose your MAGA facebook mom audience if theres too many queer characters, and if that queer character is an conventionally attractive man that doubles. Straight women could never deal with Steve being queer, even if I see his queerness as Bisexuality, any man who is attracted to another man is gay in their eyes; and therefore not worthy of their infatuation.

Through all of the series we see Nancy struggle through relationships, she struggles to find herself, to find out what she wants, to who she wants. Nancy is always stuck between the two men she has the least chemistry with. But when Nancy and Robin are in a room together? They work. They get along. That awkardness she faces with Steve, and the anxiety she faces with Jonathan is all gone. All that's left is her and Robin. Even the actresses behind Robin and Nancy think they work best together. But why would Nancy be queer? Those MAGA facebook moms would loose their Gun toting girlboss and that would just be a crime wouldn't it?

and then there's Mike. Mike fucking Wheeler. I'm going to be honest. I've never been a fan of byler, nor mileven for that matter. Both Will and El deserve better than a man who wont pay either of them any mind. However, during season 4 i saw a change in Mike. This resistance to his relationship with El yet the unwillingness to let this already dead relationship go...And then seeing him ignore Will...it almost felt like he was ignoring his feelings. the good, the bad and the queer. and Season 5 doubles this behavior. His relationship with El is in shambles and they refuse to acknowledge it. But when he's around Will? It seems like that small boy excited to see his friend again. It's like the light returns to his eyes. You could make the argument that we are seeing Mike through Will's eyes but I don't think so. I think over the years Mike accidently became queer. Like Steve, Like Nancy, Like Eddie. But he can't be queer when young girls thirst over him. Whatever would their MAGA facebook moms do?