#strange magic fandom

One, for the majority of 2016, 2017, and 2018, I was severely depressed and I fell out of writing. I was empty and despairing and in serious need of help, and my passion for writing and keeping a regular routine with it got fucking gutted. I’m in a much better state now, and genuinely happy and mentally healthy, but I haven’t recovered my writing, not the way I wrote before. And honestly, I’m scared I’ll never have it again. 

The second thing is...no one is really interested in my writing anymore. Not my fanfics, not my original work. 

With my Trollhunters fanfics, I haven’t seen any of 3Below so I feel like I can’t continue the fanfics I wanted to unless I pull an Alternate Continuity and do what I want and screw Canon, and I don’t think people would care for that. With my Mad Max story, I never got that much attention for it so even though I would like to continue it, I feel pretty at peace it would only be for myself. 

But my Strange Magic fanfics...

You need to understand, I was part of the rise of the fandom for that movie. I had never been recognized by other fandom members, nor experienced such a joyous sense of community. It was intoxicating, and easily one of the happiest times of my life. I was creating, having a LEGIT writing schedule, and people were telling me what they thought about my stories. It was heaven. I met some of my absolute dearest friends through the Strange Magic fandom. I felt known and loved, and that’s incredibly rare for me. 

And now...

I think the fandom for Strange Magic is alive and well, and that’s a great and glorious thing, but people that I knew have moved on. I’m still friends with the people I have met through the fandom because more than the fandom connects us, and I thank my lucky stars for that. 

But no one really shows any interest in my fanfics anymore. No one wants to know what happens in the storylines. 

And I know that not being active for the past three years has played a big part in that, and I wish I could claw my depression out of me and whack it with a shovel for what it did, but it is what it is. People don’t care about my stories. 

I tried to get back into them, tried to participate in fandom again. I wrote Chapter Ten for Between the Shadow and the Soul and eagerly waited to see what people would think, how they would react...

...and nothing happened. No one cared that I posted it. No one gave a rat rancid rump, much less comments and feedback and thoughts. 

And I’ll admit, that was a huge fucking blow. Maybe I got arrogant, I fully acknowledge that. But that fanfic is incredibly dear and beloved to me, and I felt so triumphant for getting back to it. And no one cared. Not one, not even my friends who had been so excited for me in the past. 

So...I don’t know, Dear Anon. I don’t want to quit these stories. But I’ve also come to realize that hearing people’s thoughts and getting feedback is really important to me. I’m not OWED it by any means, of course, but it certainly helps me move forward. I miss that. I miss being part of a creative community, one where we help build each other up. 

Maybe I’m being bitter and tired, but it feels like people have moved on from my stories, and on from me. Even though I know at the end of the day a writer should write for themselves...I loved writing for the Strange Magic fandom.