#stim stuff

⛸️ ~ Star Skating ~ ⛸️ (cass.lens)

Ex. If a fork is stabbing into some food, they cut out when it goes into the food and show you half a second later when the food’s already been stabbed.

Ex. If they’re breaking something, sometimes they don’t show when the thing actually breaks but a millisecond after when it’s already broken

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I've been thinking a lot recently about how neurodivergent masking is a survival technique and how that translates to difficulty unmasking. It's not something that's easy to do but I think I've found a metaphor neurotypicals can understand a bit better?

Imagine you are told one day you can breathe underwater. Of course, you want to try it out, but the experience and sensation of drowning is still there as well as the fear you've lived with your whole life. You just know you can now. It would be very hard just to try it out for the first time, possibly just as long to be able to stay in the water for extended amounts of time.

That's what it's like unmasking. After realizing you are masking, you really REALLY want to be yourself. But the fear is still there. You're unlearning a skill that has kept you safe for as long as you've been on earth.

To extend the metaphor, imagine there are only certain waters you can breathe in, and the only way to know which ones are safe or not is to try it out. You will mess up a lot, driving that fear home again and losing progress because of it sometimes. Now imagine that you slowly realise that you need to breathe underwater a lot because while you can breathe air, you can't do it for long amounts of time because it drains your energy.

Unmasking doesn't always go the way you want it to. There's a reason people mask. It's literally a survival mechanism. People don't often respond kindly to neurodiverse traits. Masking is also extremely draining. When someone is overstimulated or tired, oftentimes their neurodivergent traits will surface because they don't have the energy to mask. Excessive masking leads to burnout.