#stevieb

WANNA BE YOURS

WANNA BE YOURS

1980s  

(NIKKIS POV)

We met under the shining sun, too bright for secrets, too warm to think about endings.

That night I stayed up tossing and turning. She wouldn’t leave my head. I sat up in the middle of the night,looking outside the window.

I got up,sitting by the window, I felt stronger when she came to mind. She was my muse.

—————————

It was a cold night out on the streets. I had been walking the sidewalk for quite some time with my friends. I didn’t listen to the words they said. My mind was elsewhere.

My friends looked back at me to only notice the way my head hung low and my eyes stayed thoughtful.

“Hey Nik..” 

One of them called out.

I barely lifted my head to look up at them.

“Yeah?”

“You alright man? You seem…focused.”

“Yeah I’m fine” 

I said soft. Softer then usual.

“You sure?”

“Yeah..I’m good”

They nodded and faded back into their laughter. I stood in a time zone of my own. Only wish within.

The air felt stronger that night, the music seemed louder, the lights seemed brighter.

I snapped out of it for a minute, my friends joking and laughing. I had no clue what they’d said or done but I just laughed along. 

“So Nikki..” 

One of them started.

I turned my head to them. Raising an eyebrow.

“You in love yet or what?” 

They teased.

I laughed and shook my head.

“I’m not the love type of guy” 

I said with a smile.

They all burst out laughing, playfully pushing me to the side. I chuckle, my eyes drifted back down again.I felt the overwhelmed touch again.

That’s when I heard the sound of laughter walk past me. My head snapped up instantly. 

That’s when I saw her. The girl I was deep down in love with. 

The slight neon off her clothes reflected off the lights. The leather of her jacket shone off the colors. She was wild. And wildly the one for me.

She whipped past me, laughing and talking with her friends,my eyes drifted, and I froze in place. 

My eyes caught the way her eyes were so soft,Her lips that bright red I couldn’t get enough of. Aquanet and perfume risen off her.

I stood behind my friends as they kept walking, my body turned to watch her as she walked off. 

“Nikki!” 

I heard behind me. 

I looked back then turned to the place she was before she disappeared.

I sighed and slowly walked back to catch up to my friends

“Man..don’t tell me that love thing was a lie” 

One said,grinning.

“I..where’d she go?”

They pointed to the direction. I turned around and started running off to find her. My heart raced.

She was no where to be seen. 

But that’s when I thought I’d lost hope I saw her in the distance. I quickly caught up to her, I pulled her to me immediately,a wide grin crept onto my face.

“I wanna be the one..” 

I whispered before pressing my lips to hers in a yearning trance, twirling her into my arms. I never even thought myself I’d be truly in love. 

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

(HER POV)

It’s been months of dating but he’s gone so…distant. He never really was this way at all.

I tried not to overthink it but I couldn’t help feeling a little worried. I spend days hoping he’d come back to me again.

I walk outside one day to check the mailbox. It was always somewhat empty, but I usually just never checked it.

As soon as I open it., my eyes drift to the white letter plastered against the bottom of it. I slowly reach for it

I look around but no one was there so I just walked back inside with it,my hands tremble slightly

I shut the door and sat down on the window sill as I unfolded the letter.

My heart started to feel heavy as I read it, it wasn’t anything I ever expected but I knew I could only expect so much.  

It read…

“my love..

I can’t do this anymore. It’s not you it’s me. I’m just..so unloving and I just can’t hurt you I won’t ever forgive myself if I were to. Please,Forgive me. I can’t really count on anyone anymore it feels like everyone kind of left. Or changed and it’s weird because it’s nothing new but it’s not something common. Fighting with my friends,demons,all of that. But I can’t trust myself anymore I’m not sure you’ll be able to love me at much I mean, look at me I can’t keep a relationship for so long without messing it up But I’m scared I’ll lose what I have now. You. Because God I can’t lose you you’re all I have,and all I want. I’ll do anything if it means keeping you. it’ll never stay because of me. I’ve lost myself.

Love,Nikki. “

Tears fill my eyes as I remember each and every word. My bottom lip trembles.

How could this be? We’re not over but..What’s going on? I can’t lose him. I just can’t.

I clutched the letter to my chest, tears rolling down my rosy stained cheeks, my heart stopped for a moment.

I look out the window as rain drops hit the glass, my nose seemed to get stuffier over the few small minutes that felt like eternity.

Hours seem to pass faster than I even know. That’s when I woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing. My eyes flutter open, tears still sliding the slightest. My body still felt cold. I was a mess. But I’ve been so what’s new?

I get up slowly, each step I take more dead and broken then the last. These past weeks have been killing me. 

I open the door, my eyes half lidded, I only hear the ringing of my thoughts.

I look up and my heart stops beating for a moment. My eyes widen more. 

There stood. Nikki. He stood broken and sorrowful. I always knew he wasn’t good at emotions and God he was sometimes stubborn to confess what he’s feeling.

No words are spoken. I immediately bring him inside and shut the door behind us, the sound falling to the silence again.

I sit down on the window sill again, he sits next to me.

“Please…talk to me tell me what’s going on..”

My voice cracks the slightest.

“I…I’m so fucking scared..”

He starts breaking down, I rarely seen him like this.But God it’s so beautiful.

I instantly pull him into my arms, his body shakes against mine,his tears falling onto my chest.

I  brush his hair back. Kissing his head repeatedly. My own tears start flowing again. 

He clung to me. His arms wrapped around my waist, his head rested on my chest. This was it. He was broken. He was desperate. But mostly. He was afraid

“I..I don’t want to fuck up..”

He speaks through choked up sobs.

I kiss his forehead then tilt his chin up.

Tears clung to his eyelashes,turning his bright green eyes glassy and unfocused.

I saw the vulnerability and dreading in his eyes.the reflection of once myself.

“Listen to me baby…You’re not going to ruin anything.”

He looked up at me with hope in my words.

“I’m sorry..”

He mumbled.

“Hey hey…don’t be sorry baby we’ll get through this I promise.”

He smiled the slightest and rested back against me. I still saw the look in his eye but didn’t push. I was here to stay. Not to change.

I smile back and kiss his cheek, I start to drift off to sleep as long as him.

The next morning I wake up to the warm feeling of skin against mine.I blink my eyes open, I look up to find him already awake admiring me.

I smile softly and kiss him. He kisses back immediately. His arms tightening around me. He seems almost thoughtful.

“Morning” he mumbles against my lips softly.

I hum in response.

He smiles and pulls back only to look in my eyes.

He tightens his arms that are around me and nuzzles his face into my neck. I chuckle. 

“Mmh…my girl..” he murmurs into my skin.

I grin.

“So clingy huh?” 

I tease but I know I love it. Just trying to forget some of the tension from last night.

He groans and his arms tighten even 

more, nuzzling more into me. Clearly proving my point.

I laugh at his reaction.

“God I love it though..”

——-–—————————

COME BACK TO ME

It’s been a week or two  after the talk we had that night. It’s still been dreading but. There was hope now. Newfound hope.

I was currently trying new records and cds I’ve bought at the music store this weekend to get my mind off things.

I hummed to myself as I set it up. Placing the disc in the little box.

A knock suddenly came upon the door. I glanced at the door before going to open it.

I open it slowly to see Nikki. 

I smile and pull him into my arms.

“Hey sweetheart,”

He says with a grin as he wraps his arms around me.

He slightly pulls back, taking my hands into his, his eyes shining.

“I missed you..”

I say softly.

“I missed you too baby.”

He takes a deep breath, looking away before looking back at me.

“Listen…I’m sorry for not telling you anything that was going on I should’ve known better and, to be honest being with you is the only thing that helps me cope. I felt like I was losing my mind without you, but I didn’t want to ruin us, I didn’t want to hurt you. It’s not anything I’m used to but it feels like home with you, This is the moment I’ve wanted for years, And I’m ready to keep it.”

Tears filled his and my eyes.

He slowly got down on one knee, his hands still holding mine, his tear filled eyes looking up at mine.

“Y/n…will you marry me?..”

His voice cracked slightly.

My heart stopped and my words got choked up. 

“I…yes!”

He smiled immediately as tears started slipping down his cheek. He placed the small ring onto my finger before pulling me into his arms, kissing me repeatedly.

He whispered.