#stevenkwlim

大家好!

As an America-born Chinese (ABC hehe), I've faced many of the same struggles that Steven has also faced. Countless times growing up, my peers have asked me to say something in Chinese, and I always never knew what to say because speaking Chinese in an American setting always seemed weird to me. I don't think it was shame, I just didn't feel right speaking a language different than what was being spoken around me. Similarly, I would always speak in Mandarin to Chinese parents because speaking with them in English just didn't seem right. The latter may have been because of my father's adamant rule that my siblings and I were to speak Chinese at home, which I am now extremely grateful for.

In kindergarten, my parents, along with the parents of a couple of my friends, started a "basement" Chinese school. The first few years, it was fun and enjoyable. Perhaps it was the openness that children have toward learning, perhaps it was because Chinese school didn't yet involve homework--more likely, both. But that all changed when the self-started Chinese school was formalized into what is now known as the 华夏中文学校 (Hua-Xia Chinese School). With the formalization came textbooks (deceptively-thin monstrosities that held hours upon hours of torment), and the homework became a massive amount of cumbersome tasks that was made more massive by procrastination. Chinese school became an extreme chore. I dreaded Sunday afternoons where I would be swiftly whisked away to Chinese school after church ended. To younger me, Chinese school seemed like a huge waste of time. I felt as if I'd never use Chinese again after the day I (finally) escaped Chinese school. How wrong I was.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my home church (Cincinnati Chinese Church) sends a short-term missions team to Thailand every other year. I decided to join the team the winter of 2012. Going to Thailand, I never expected to use Chinese a lot. I knew that a little Chinese was probably nice, but never could I have imagined how commonplace Chinese was in Thailand. After eleven years of (mostly forced) Chinese school, my Chinese, at least conversationally, was decent. I could talk to parents and, most probably, survive a trip to China or Taiwan. This helped me an amazing amount on this mission trip. A large portion of the people we worked with spoke Chinese and I was extremely glad to be able to speak with them in a language that was easier for them to understand than English. I also realized that I loved speaking in Chinese. Some specific examples come to mind. Before going on the trip, we were all asked to prepare our testimony, but little did I know, I would be asked to share my testimony in Chinese. It freaked me out, but I was so glad that my Chinese was at a level proficient enough to give my testimony. Another time was when one of the pastors we were serving gave a sermon in Chinese. Initially, the leader of the team, Uncle Reggie (or the Regginator) would translate for the members of our team that did not understand Chinese, but soon he asked me to translate in his stead and I did. Thank the Lord that all those years of toil (though there were some pretty fun times) were not in vain.

Looking backwards, I am grateful beyond grateful that my parents enforced me learning Chinese. Over the past summer, I discovered that I really want to learn more about Chinese culture, specifically the history of China. I also really, really, really want to get better at Chinese, especially when it comes to talking about engineering and faith. This became more pronounced when I came to college. The more and more I did outreach with Intervarsity, the more and more I realized that I would love to work with Mandarin-speaking students. This continued desire to get closer to the Chinese side of my identity is a constant reminder of how God worked all these things in my life to get me to where I am.

I am thankful for my parents for many things, but among the top is their desire for me to speak their native tongue. I am very grateful that God has allowed me to serve him in this way so far, and I'm excited to see how God continues to speak through me.

Until next time,

Was my Video too Stereotypical? My Reaction to Things Asian College Kids Do

  Hello my beloved friends,

First things first - thank you for watching my videos, reading my tumblr, following me at my socials, and sharing my videos. But most importantly, thank you for praying for me, thank you for praying for my art, & thank you for praying that I would not lose myself in this crazy YouTube journey.

Now onto the latest video. The video has received both very positive and negative feedback. Here's a quick summary:

Positives:

I've improved a lot in scriptwriting, production value, & editing

The examples are very true for some people

The acting was really good :)

Negatives:

Way too stereotypical

Lacking deeper explanations

Misrepresents other cultures (in this case, white culture)

I can definitely see both sides of the boat here. I wanted to spend some time writing an explanation for the video, so you'll understand where I'm coming from.

At the restaurant I work, I do dread when Asians walk into the door. I'll admit that I need to work on extending grace towards serving Asians. But the fact of the matter is that many of them are doing the things I listed in the video. No, not all of them. But a number of them. I've had tables that have asked me for more rice over 5 times. I've had a table where I was literally being dragged by two ladies across the restaurant trying to pay the bill. On Mondays and Tuesdays when we have half-off sushi, I've had people come in and order 2 rolls and just constantly ask for water refills.

And to be quite honest, I used to be that kind of customer. Only when I became a waiter did I understand that this is NOT how most Americans act at restaurants.

No, I am not saying all Asians do these things. I am not even saying most Asians do this. What I am saying is this: some Asian customers, particularly poor college kids, that are cheap and hungry and disrespectful and privileged, do these things. And my wish is that those people would watch this video and open their eyes to see life from a different perspective.

But when I wrote this video, I was blinded by one thing: gaining views/subscribers. I asked myself, what title would make more people share my content? What jokes would get more people to watch my video? What would make this video more "viral"? 

Another struggle I have is engaging my audience. I know that with YouTube, people are just one click away from watching a cat video. So I tell myself that I have to make sure jokes hit fast and hard. I tell myself that I need to make content "dumb" enough for people to understand and engaging enough to stay seated.

...which led me to cut important explanations and make broad sweeping generalizations about my entire ethnic race. This was a huge mistake. 

If you saw when I first posted the video, I titled it "Things Asians do at Restaurants." That title eventually morphed into "Things Asian College Kids do at Restaurants." What should I have titled this video? With 20-20 hindsight, I wish I had said this: "Things that I do at restaurants." While I want to tell the story of my people, I only have the "authority" to tell one story: mine. And from day one I've told you & myself that I got into YouTube because I want to inspire others by sharing my story.

Although I'm not proud of how I executed this last video, I am thankful for having gone through this experience because it was a necessary learning experience. And it has helped me to take a step back and ask myself.. why am I doing this? what do I hope to accomplish through making videos? And the answer is simple--spread love to those who need it the most. 

I'll admit, this YouTube thing has been very demanding. While you guys only see a short 3-5 minute video once a week, these videos take a long time to put together. Lots of long hours and sleepless nights since I've gone into YouTube full time. Don't get me wrong--I love what I do. But I hope you will stick with me as I continue to navigate the ropes and figure things out. One piece of advice I got before I went into YouTube is that i need to "play the game" before I can "change the game." Well you know what? I don't see myself going that route. I ask that you pray for me, that I would never have to lose myself before I can make a difference in the YouTube space.

Love you guys,