they need you to be a very simple type. one thing.

a playtoy which exists in their unconscious realm

My (32F) girlfriend (36F) has never met my colleagues, but she has seen some pictures of me with them. We have created a fun group and sometimes go out to drink after work, and one of them in particular is this girl who dresses and presents herself in kind of a masc way. As far as I'm aware, she's only ever spoken with us about going out with men, and either way I don't put much interest in trying to figure out if she's hetero, gay or bi or whatever she wants to be. My gf on the other hand comments every time she sees a picture of her how it's impossible that she likes men and that her gaydar is working. To clarify, I'm 100% positive there's no interest towards her on my gf's part - there might be some potential fear that this colleague of mine could possibly want to hit on me, though, even if there were never any signs on her part towards me so it's just her lingering anxiety of losing me speaking. My gf has stated more than once that if she meets her she's going to jokingly ask my colleague if she's a lesbian. I am not at all comfortable with the idea of her asking, first because it's a question I would never ask someone, secondly because as much as we are friendly, she's still my colleague and I don't want any potential awkwardness on my job. When I tried to tell her that the idea of her asking this was making me uncomfortable, my gf replied that it feels like I'm ashamed of her and her ways, and that she doesn't like that I'm so "protective" of my colleagues. How can I explain my discomfort without making her feel rejected?

"This again? Really?"

"It's none of your business."

"That's not funny."

"That's rude."

"That's not appropriate."

"That's very invasive."

"It's unattractive how obsessed with this you are."

"It's getting ridiculous and frustrating how you refuse to comprehend how inappropriate it is to ask someone that, even jokingly."

"I'm tired of talking about how un-funny this line of harassment is."

"It's odd how much you care about this."

"I cannot repeat enough how exhausting this is."

"That's not an okay thing to say."

"That's not how you should treat other people."

Sorry I'm not your perfect rape victim stereotype. There's different varieties of ways of coping with an assault and everyone's feeling are different because we're all individuals and we all use different forms of therapy.

Some "self-care" methods are actually very toxic and dangerous like hypersexuality after assault which is something we rarely even speak up as a trauma response.

And before some "antishitter" talks I'm both a victim and former professional on the subject which is why I know more about different coping mechanisms and how it affects different people individually.

We're not cookie cutter for your assumptions of how victims should be.

Just like I've said that I'm not here to fit the Perfect Invalid Stereotype, I'm also not going to be The Perfect Victim Stereotype.

Strangely the ones that harass me, were stereotyping me based on very limited knowledge of the experience.

Also not all victims are sex repulsed. They can be repulsed at having it done to them without consent or like me.

I loath being touched by strangers without consent. I actually have physically violent reflexes when it happens which has gotten me trouble. So that's another stereotype down.

And I can write whatever I want including the horrors of sex. Because there's two sides of each coin. And there's indeed many horrors and emotions attached to this. It's not always emptiness and pleasure. It's sometimes pain in every sense from emotional to physical.

Sex can be beautiful and disgustingly ugly and that's what can make it horrifying. (To some it can even be seen as completely lackluster and uninteresting, especially regarding the physicality of it. Which is also another valid response)

This duality can affect anyone from the sex repulsed to the sex positive.

just got called "overly sensitive" by my dad for saying that stereotyping and infantilizing autism was bad