#stepparents

《Stepparents & unspoken traumas》

Not everyone talks about how complicated stepparent relationships can be, especially when you're a kid whose just trying to adjust to new people, new rules, and a whole new family dynamic-

My bio parents split when I was 10yo and I wanna say a year or two later I met my stepdad (my mothers at the time boyfriend) all of a sudden he was quickly considered as my "stepdad" and his son my "stepbrother" even tho they werent married yet?? I also had to watch his son at times too who was bad as hell ..it was so tough during that time and I was expected to help out in ways that felt unfair. I have no idea why the adults around me felt comfortable to rely on a minor to babysit for them. ☹☹☹

Then my dad also had a girlfriend at the time, she meant well but came off too strong >.< everything shifted so fast and I felt like no one thought about the kids- yes you guys are allowed to be happy but I would love it if yall could date when I got grown or smth😅 mind you all this happened within a short period of time so I was overwhelmed. Unfortunately I suffered through a very traumatic event, my dad left my life soo I grew desperate and wanted to find the emotional (male) support in my stepdad.

But we never had that type of bond, we've always been distant in that area; he couldnt get that close w me to begin with due to double standards 🤷🏽‍♀️ a grown man who isnt my dad getting close with a prepubescent girl is deemed "inappropriate" to an extent I understand- but what the hell.

As I became a teenager my stepdad started shaming me more and calling me "greedy" *MAJOR TW* (I had an active ED at the time no one knew about) if you're restricting yourself and rarely eating yeah..when you do eventually eat meals it may be in semi larger portions- but it made me feel awful about myself. He always likes talking smack about people (his son does the same thing) it's not funny. He also pressured me about jobs and shamed me for that too, I couldnt take it anymore and told him to back off- imagine someone who isnt your parent..telling you what to do or dictate your life EVEN IF it's coming from the right place..just no-

I sometimes feel guilty for still feeling uncomfortable around him? I sometimes wonder what my bio dad would say to me? Despite him being a huge pos himself..he wouldnt talk to me like that (I doubt it)

Even if your stepparent stepped up to the plate , do we really owe them that title? Personally, I never wanna call anyone dad again. May seem a bit far fetched but I dont even wanna get walked down at my future wedding. I wish my mom could understand where I'm coming from because she didnt like any of her mothers boyfriends either so what's so different about this??

I'm in healing mode, I'm an age dreamer/ regressor , I like to imagine having that loving father figure experience. That's apart of my process and that makes me happy🌈💕 I know I'm not alone in this! So if any of you share something similar I dont mind listening 😊🥺

Tumblr didnt let me post this last week :/ and I got frustrated and gave up so here it is! Thanks to everyone who said I should post it! ♡♡♡

i appreciate all of the support~💜

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Research shows that children living with one biological parent and one stepparent are significantly more likely to experience physical, emotional, or sexual abuse than those living with both biological parents.

The study found that children living with a stepparent were 40 times more likely to be physically abused than those living with both biological parents.

The evolutionary explanation suggests that stepparents do not share the same genetic interest in the well-being of stepchildren as biological parents do. Consequently, they might not invest as much in the child's upbringing and may even exhibit harmful behaviors due to lack of natural parental instincts and attachment.

Coming into someone’s life to not only love them but love the children they bring with them as well. There’s something about good stepparents being understanding about how a kid might process them becoming a new figure in their lives. How “I never want to replace your parent, but I’m always here for you” can mean a whole lot.

I want more stories with good stepparents in them, or stories about people going into relationships and becoming stepparents. How they don’t go through the process of raising a baby, but coming into a kids life midway and learning how to bond with this kid you have no other connection with.

ADOPTION AWARENESS QUOTE 2 OF 3 Tuesday, November 22, 2022

"Some children are each loved by their stepparent, but not by their biological parent... or parents." - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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You "prolifers" need to get to work adopting the kids who are already here. #roevember