#steens

This honey does not mess around in any way, it’s Manuka honey and is meant to have medicinal properties. I will not be speaking on that topic as I do not have enough knowledge to impart on people who just are here to be lightly amused by vaguely comical honey reviews. However, this bad boy is a better than decent Manuka, and costs roughly 23 pounds depending on where you source it.

I must admit that this jar has already been tampered with and this one is not a first impression like my other journeys through honey/space/time. I can only offer my deepest apologies that I was not strong enough to wait for you before diving into the delight. The first think however, that hits me when I open up Pandora’s honey pot, is the smell. It doesn’t smell like regular honey, it smells clean, with a punchy feeling to boot. I would let it punch me over and over.

This honey is thick, not like the majority of the population in the United Kingdom or America, but like a thick liquid. As I am sure that you are all aware, some honey comes pre-packaged with the fear of spillage, the fear of having to make a trip to a sink to remove the uncomfortable feeling left by the goop (actual scientific term). This honey doesn’t suffer from that, in fact it can be quite an exciting time to have to remove it from a spoon. I have been having more fun with the consistency of this honey than most people have with marmalade.

The colour of the honey is also something that isn’t seen in other bee products, it’s a dark orange, approaching a gold. It reminds me of the time I dreamt that the queen, played by yours truly, had complete access to the colour of lavender and the widespread panic I could cause amongst the aging population of the first world with a change from lavender to a violent lime green. Why does it remind me of this dream you ask? The colour of this honey is royalty honey-ified (also a scientific term).

Taste is always the most important thing however, and it is time to give my opinions on the matter. Let’s go. The first thing I notice is the mouthfeel, it’s got a grainy texture to it, not unpleasant by any means, but certainly something unseen in the usual honey that I enjoy. I can see myself getting used to it as I believe it gives something else to the experience. The taste however, is what really sets this apart, it opens with a winter morn, the purity and crispness of the air is apparent straight away, and it leaves the pallet wide open to receive the second coming. The second act brings a height of orange and other citrus, it smears this citrus all down my existence and is unapologetic in that approach, I welcome this treatment, I want to feel the quality of this product, and boy do I when the third act truly takes hold. There is a final and triumphant journey into a land filled with chocolaty desires, and I am not talking Cadbury’s. I am talking Lindt.

This honey has power and dominance; it is wise to treat this with the utmost respect.

The Taste: A childhood dream of a land of promise, all delivered without question, a visitation of greatness/10

The Packaging: A busy and bustling café, as you look for your friend in the crowd, are they already here? Are they yet to arrive? It matters not because there is comfort in a crowd/10

The Colour: Peace among the land, as a royal decree is launched to put an end to the terror of the night/10

Overall: A perfect slice of time with a person you love, intimate and gentle, it’s joy just to be in their company for any amount of time that you’re allowed/10

I want a hug.