#startliving

In our lives, there might be a bunch of decisions that we have to make to please others. And we live the rest of our lives blaming and regretting it. Blaming is our coping mechanism to deal it the problem. But instead of blaming, we can do two things. First, you should have the will to say NO and get out of that situation. I know it is easier said than done, and I also belong to the category of people for whom saying 'No' to others is psychologically impossible. I really appreciate people who can do it. The second method is for those like me, you just do it irrespective of your own feelings. So, to these I want to say please stop blaming, since you are gonna do it just suck it up and do.

As long as we blame ourselves, we are in denial, and to actually live our lives we have to start accepting the situation and make the best possible outcome from it.

busy city, busy people

I saw myself wandering in the busy bush.

to which road is my way to end

I hear gigglings, i hear murmurs

Did I lose my voice or am I turning daze.

uninvited feelings, unsupportive boons

Is it just mine, or am I unnerve?

my plans resented by my own thought

I used to cry, but they're dried up now

mended core is not the case.

I feel suffocated of the sore behind my beam,

I see them drying up slowly like my tears

I shouldn't think much, that's what I thought

but the dreams i dreamt, might betray if not.

It's just the body that's mine

My mind and soul, doesn't belong to me

the tormented lies, i've been fed

the decided end, i was told to abide by

left me numb, nothing left to mumble

who am I living for, if not for me?

I see the ends not in favor

I heard my heart screams in agony

Today I was watching this show and I realized something. Don’t live in your own shadow. I like to watch films and shows with my brain and not just with my eyes, if it makes sense... I like to look behind the lines and stories. This show made me realize that I have to be the main character in my own life. I have to step out of my comfort zone and take risks because growth start out of the comfort zone. Sometime I am disposed to stay in the background and let others take care of the situation which is not good for me and my ability to speak up for myself and to solve my own problems. As for someone who is in their early 20’s adulting can be really scary because of the pressure that you have to start speak up for yourself, solve your own problems and sometimes to defend yourself. Personally, I am really bad at controlling my thoughts and to behave well in situations like this. This is the time when I can finally say that I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER and I start acting like that. I’d fight for my dreams, stand up for myself and solve everything that comes to my way, because nothing and no one can stop me from achieving what I’ve been wanting. Don’t be shy. And please don’t hide in your shadows like Erica at the beginning.💪🏼