letâs start out with some honesty:
you can call me Zero, as thatâs how much i want to weigh (joking)!
iâm around 400 lbs (181.4 kg), standing at 5â5â (167.6 cm) tall. if you said âyikes!â, âgrossâ, or anything of the sort, congrats, thatâs the only correct answer!
my goal weight? comfort. i want to be comfortable in my skin, in my movement, in my life. i figure iâll be comfortable at around 130-145 lbs (58.9-68.7 kg), so iâll shoot for that range for now.
iâm recovering from a binge-restrict cycle that clearly has more âbingeâ than ârestrictâ to it.
i was once 100lbs down, but then life kicked me, and i gave into temptation⊠for like a year. so, here we are.
iâm sick of trying to hate myself thin. itâs a pipe dream, it doesnât work. if self-hatred couldâve saved me, iâd have been skinny for years by now.
iâm sick of body positivity. you know itâs a lie, i know itâs a lie. obesity isnât healthy, big fucking surprise. and it isnât attractive, either!
âcalories in vs calories outâ is the way, but it isnât just so simple for chronically ill people. i plan to document that here, as well as what things i plan to add to CICO in order to balance my hormones, my metabolism, my extreme fatigue, my fainting, and my allergies to various things.
i want to be a big muscular woman, but iâm going to start by shedding excess weight before working on body composition. i just want to give myself some time to focus on weight loss first, even if i lose a fair amount of muscle, as i will build it back and better once this part of the journey is in my rearview.
i will be sharing the gruesome, disgusting details of fat life on this blog, because i refuse to sugar coat the bitter life i live. if you know whatâs best for you, you will avoid the position iâve wound up in. you will avoid junk foods and sweets, junk meals and simple carbs, and go for something that loves your body, not your taste buds.
eat for what you want your body to do, not for what you want your mind to feel. letâs get this show on the road!
