#startert

“Don’t look now, but I think we caught him smiling.”  Trevor teased the other as he nudged them.  Kyle was the more serious out of them, Trevor the one who found humor in almost everything.  The class clown.  He hadn’t felt like this since before his family had died.  Being with Kyle had opened him up more, made him comfortable in his own skin..but something had been missing.  He gazed over at the other, the one who made them feel complete.  “Think we should go make sure he isn’t stroking out?”  He teased.

an edit from 2013

It had been so long since Trevor had had a panic attack.  He’d gotten them frequently when he lived with his aunt, the woman had made him believe he was nothing more than a monster.  But he was better now, he knew he wasn’t a monster.  His parents had been monsters, they had been werewolves who were murdered...they had never hurt anyone.  Now he lived on his own, went to college full time, he had friends, he had a significant other.  So why was this happening?  Chest tightening more, he stopped, a hand raised slightly as if going to flag someone down.  What was going on?  The wolf inside of him whined, clawing to get out and take charge, to them some place safe.

Now wasn’t the time to have a break down over his dead family.  He was surrounded by people.  People having a conversation about Mother’s Day.  Mother’s Day wasn’t even until next month, yet here they were, discussing their plans they were making for their moms.  Presents they were making or buying.  Surprises they were giving her.  It had been a couple of years since the death of his pack...the death of his family...the death of his mom..but some days it still felt like it was yesterday.  Like right now.  He shifted, trying to do anything to drown out their voices, down out the thoughts.  “Hey, I’m gonna head out.”  He stood suddenly, tossing his bag over his shoulder and walked away without another word.

“Oh come on, you love my dance moves.” Trevor grinned.

“No one is going to be fighting anyone.”  Kyle stepped forward, placing a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.  “You were told to leave.  I suggest you do so.  Now.”  While looking at him, Kyle didn’t look like much, but his attitude usually screamed ‘leave me alone.   NOW’.  Most didn’t like messing with him.  “Whatever.”  The man rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how it wasn’t worth it.  Together the two men left turned to the other.  “Are you alright?”

Trevor wasn’t sure what had brought this on but before he realized it, he couldn’t stop it.  It was too late.  Still, in an attempt, he pulled himself from the bed he shared with the other and and as quietly as h could crept to the bathroom.  A shower.  A cool shower might help.  Rubbing at his tightening chest, he began to undress, gasping for air.  Stepping into the shower, he rested his forehead against the tile, trying to slow his breath down enough to get one good one in, hands curling to fists against the wall.  He just needed to stay quiet, he didn’t want to wake the body he’d left sleeping.  

He tried to think what had triggered it.  Was it a smell?  A sound?  He as used to so many different smells, the noises of a college campus, he had adjusted well.  Nothing usually bothered him.  Focusing, he took a slow deep breath in, wondering if maybe another supernatural being was close by.  But nothing seemed to explain why his wolf was so eager, so close to the surface.