Bellara is down. Lucanis is down. Solas is bleeding, his breath rasping. Elgar’nan is on the ground of the Archon’s throne room, stained with blood and blight, and it would take but a single solid blow. The lyrium dagger is clutched in his hand as he drags himself forward, staring at the tyrant who would blight the world.
This close he cannot deny what, who he is. He is the herald of Elgar’nan, who has ruined countless lives on his god’s behest, for his god’s favour. He is his favoured lover and he remembers the countless ways he has ruined him, giving him everything he could want and more. He is his master, his discipline harsh but fair, making him stronger.
He is his enemy. He has killed so many people, ruined so many lives. He is blighted and blunt and dangerous even now and he is terrified of what he will do for the loss of his archdemon if he survives this. Of how he will make his friends, him, pay.
His breath rasps in his chest, pain radiates through his entire body, and he lifts the dagger. Elgar’nan looks up at him and he cannot look away.
“It is not your fault,” he says. His breath catches. “Da’len, you were dreadfully misled. The Dread Wolf cannot be trusted. You knew that, once- and he knew you did not in this time. What poison he whispered in your ear.” He sounds sympathetic, even. “He did not allow you to grieve. He forced you into a role you were never meant to fill.” His hands have fallen as Elgar’nan speaks, speaks directly to the part of him that yearns to please him. That yearns to be his. That he’s fought so hard. He sets his shoulders and lifts them again.
“I can’t let you do this,” he says and can hear the desperation in his own voice. Elgar’nan holds out a hand.
“Give it to me. Return to my side, my herald.” He nearly falls to his knees at the order, his fingers loosening on the hilt. He needs to take this blow. He has to. Elgar’nan’s gaze is steady. “You fought so bravely.” He lifts his hand to wrap around Alero’s, on the hilt of the dagger, and places the other on his cheek. He doesn’t remember the last time he breathed. “Now deliver my vengeance once more.” He turns his body to face Solas, struggling to his feet, bloody and bruised. The memories pulse through him, released from the barriers he’s tried to erect around them. His contentment, the purpose of service. The pleasure of reward. Knowing that he is valued for who is. He sways, leaning back into his god’s arms as exhaustion threatens to take him, and then suddenly he is awake.
“See, Fen’Harel,” his god says as his back straightens, his dagger held confidently and an immense, familiar hand curls around his hip, “What it is to rule.” His god releases him and he does not hesitate to obey the unspoken order, surging forward.
“No,” Fen’Harel begins, raising a hand, “You are better than-” he does not get a chance to finish his words. Blood splatters the ground and all over him and he hears his god, his lord standing behind him. Feels a wordless pull that he obeys as he falls to his knees before him. His god’s enormous hand rests atop his head.
The blood on his hands and torn armour doesn’t matter. The uncertainty that has plagued him for as long as he remembers is gone. He wants to tip his head up, to see his god- but to be touched by him is so- his presence fills his awareness, is the only thing that’s ever mattered to him. His breath rasps as his body heals and trembles with a very different need, urgent and at the same time utterly irrelevant. He wants- he needs-
A hand tips his chin up and he stares, transfixed.
“Very good, my herald,” his god says and warmth fills his entire body. “Now help me to fix this world.” His hand lifts, the lyrium dagger presented. He can hear his god’s smile in his voice. “No- this honour falls to you.”
Sorry for the late reply qq
I am kicking my feet once again. This AU provides so much potential tragedy, and an ending like this would be devastating. Even after his memories were returned, Alero continued to try to fight all the way to the end. Even managing to fight his god to the bloody, victorious end. Only to stumble at the final hurdle and cave. Elgar'nan just knows all too well what to say to break his herald. Imagine all of the allies gathered, the people sacrificed, all to give this chance to defeat Elgar'nan, only for this to be the outcome. The best ending for Elgar'nan, and his herald will be happy to once again serve his god, but rest in peace the rest of Thedas.
♥️ thank you for sharing it with me, I love this AU concept so much
