#starlabs

You retire to your home sometime around 5:30pm. 

Harrison had some other company meetings to sort through, but he'd promised to come see you as soon as he got off. Which was both exhilarating and frightening. Having him not just assure you but also take a chance on this relationship is a big step for both of you.

One nice shower later and you're standing in front of the mirror with a towel on your head.

"This is actually happening."

You needed to check. A part of you is still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Calm down, this isn't a big deal. He's just coming over to talk. Just to talk, nothing else. It's fine, it's all fine."

Is it fine though?

"Yes, it has to be fine!"

But is it?

"STOP THAT BRAIN!!"

A brief assessment on your sanity later and you're sitting on the couch.

Waiting.

That's probably the hardest part.

The knock you hear makes you bolt out of your seat and you're at the door in under five seconds. You collect yourself, opening the door but the person on the other side isn't who you expect.

"Barry.."

On the bright side, he did knock.

You step back.

"Can I come in?"

With a nod, he steps inside. You close the door behind him. Barry takes in everything.

"Nice place."

"Thanks."

Surely he didn't come to admire your choice in decor.

"Is there some murder you're here to accuse me of."

It's unfair, but you're still bitter. Everytime you see him, it's a reminder of that misery. Having to live with your grief only to be judged by someone who's supposed to save people.

"I deserve that. I came here because I wanted to apologize for everything. I was wrong."

No shit sherlock.

His head turns to the side. The guilt is so easy to spot. It doesn't take a genius to know he regrets what went down.

"For a while now I've hated you Barry Allen."

That seems like a recurring theme with Thawnes no matter the timeline or universe.

"I came to you when I was lost and scared. I thought out of everyone you would see past my name and help me. But everyday in that lab you made me hate myself more than I already did. It's like I was stuck in a nightmare that would never end. Everyday that I suffered it was your fault. I hated you."

He takes every word, because he deserves it. He knew from the minute he saw you that asking for your forgiveness was impossible. Maybe that's why he felt compelled to seek you out. Just to make sure you were no longer suffering. Seeing you not just healthy, but standing up for yourself was relieving. More so because he was the one who beat you down when you were already at your lowest point.

"Regardless of what has happened, I do want to forgive you."

His stunned expression was a funny sight.

"It would be a lie to say that I've completely forgotten and forgiven all that happened, but I'd like to start. Nothing good has ever come from holding onto hate. We're proof enough."

He can attest to that.

"I'd like that opportunity very much."

He came here on a whim, but now he's happy that he'd worked up the courage to truly face you. Barry holds out his hand, and for a moment you just stare. This is the first extension of kindness that he has given to you. For some reason it makes you teary eyed.

Thinking back you consider how easy it would have been if your first introduction started this way. You bypass the gesture, running into his arms. He's stiff for obvious reasons, but when he feels how tightly you hold on, it makes sense. That day in the lab as you stared back at them, this is what you needed.

A shoulder to cry on to release all your woes.