#standardized tests

Last Tuesday, you chased your son out of your house and locked him out for the night. What had he done?

He had a little baggie of marijuana under his bed to help with his test anxiety. Your response was cruel and disproportionate. So it's time for you to learn a little about the effects of marijuana firsthand.

On the other side of that pane of glass is what marijuana users call a time bomb. It's a marijuana cigarette with the end that would usually go into your mouth stuck into the "bowl" of the marijuana pipe. When the marijuana cigarette is smoked down, the loose marijuana in the "bowl" will catch fire and burn.

Unusually, there is a piece of metal stuck though the marijuana cigarette, near the base. That is part of a very different time bomb.

You have six minutes to smoke the marijuana "time bomb" down so that the metal falls, breaking the circuit and diffusing the bomb.

Approach the mouthpiece and press the green button on the desk to ignite the marijuana "time bomb" and smoke your way to safety.

You'll be extremely "high" on the marijuana, but you will be alive. And when you come down, you'll be safe. Though, maybe, you'll give others space to cope with... look, I'd smoke weed too if i had to do all the damn standardized testing teens today do. And that's to say nothing of all the guns! Holy...

a kid ripped up his paper into tiny pieces

i made tiny paper cranes

our advisory teacher plunked a giant bag of snacks on a desk and said “Eat Candy”

a kid, instead of actually answering the essay question about civil disobedience, wrote paragraphs as to why he hates standardized testing

the teacher in the room next to us comes in and tells us “you guys need to be quieter, i could hear you through the walls.” BABE. we were whispering, i think you’re just hearing the voices

so yeah not very eventful but still interesting

Sunday July 6

I'm MJ (@catstrophysics)! This blog is a result of my side gig as a standardized test/physics tutor, and I thought it would be fun to post SAT multiple choice questions as polls on here to sate the Tumblr user desire to click buttons.

Each question will be open for 3 days, after which I'll comment with the correct answer and a brief explanation of how to do it/any tips and tricks.

If you're a high school student looking for an actual SAT/ACT/physics tutor, please feel free to DM me, and I'd love to work with you!

Tags are below the read more. Not in any way afflilated with CollegeBoard or any other standardized test organization. Thanks for reading!