#stan snyder

You're lazing in bed, Xeno's body covering yours, head resting on your chest while you play with his hair when you first hear of the confused rumors making their rounds through the colony. 

It's Stanley who tells you, strutting into the room and throwing himself down onto the bed next to you. He presses a kiss to your cheek and Xeno's head, cuddling up to your side. 

"I overheard some of the others yellin' earlier," He says. His words make Xeno groan and bury his face deeper into your chest. 

"Over what now?" He asks. 

"Us," Stanley huffs out a laugh, shaking his head as he remembers the conversation he'd heard. 

"What about us?" Xeno asks, sitting up onto his elbows to look at Stanley's grinning face. 

"No one seems to realize that the three of us are together," Stanley says. "They all think we're dating each other." 

"We are though," You say, eyebrows furrowing. 

"They think we're a pair and a third wheel. They can't seem to agree on who the pair is." 

A hand covers your mouth, laughter exploding out of you as Stanley continues to explain what was being whispered about under all your noses. 

Apparently, it had started when you had given your okay for one of the colonists to undertake a project in Xeno's stead. He'd supposedly made a comment about your ass when you walked away, and Charlotte had jumped to your defense, claiming you to be Stanley's spouse. 

Which had another person claiming that it was actually Xeno who was your lover, and a third who swore it was Stanley and Xeno who were in the relationship. No one had considered for a moment that all of the options could be correct at once. 

Though, you had to give Charlotte credit, you were legally married to Stanley in the old world for the military benefits, even though the three of you had always considered yourselves spouses to each other and at one time had rings to match. 

“That’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” You say through your laughter. Stanley joins in your amusement, snorting out another chuckle of his own as the moment hits him yet again. Xeno, however, remains quiet. Contemplating, for a moment, what to do next. 

“Shall we run an experiment?” He asks, rolling onto your other side so that he and Stanley now have you sandwiched between them. 

“Oh?” You lean into him, silently encouraging him to continue. 

“I believe our colony is suffering from lack of basic information gathering and observational skills. I would not call our love for each other overly subtle at all, and yet it appears they have all collectively missed the mark. What’s say we test how long it takes before someone finally puts the pieces together?” Xeno says, tapping at his chin thoughtfully. “Though, I worry that this experiment may never end unless we make ourselves significantly more obvious.”

“What are the parameters? There has to be a way we can accurately measure people’s understanding of what’s happening,” You say. Xeno hums thoughtfully. 

“I'm not sure,” He says. “I'll admit, psychological experiments are not where my expertise lies.” 

“Let’s just fuck with them.”

You and Xeno both look at Stanley, who’s lit a fresh cigarette. 

“Being openly affectionate with each other could encourage more conversation, which would be the best way to gather their thoughts. Perhaps we could also make an anonymous poll and log their answers on a weekly basis,” Xeno says, already making mental calculations.

Xeno and Stanley said two very different things, but are so clearly on the same page. You can tell they’ve known each other for a very long time. It almost makes you a little jealous. Almost. 

-

The colony explodes with rushed questions and confused conversations. A large sheet of paper had been hung in the dining area asking people to vote on who they thought was in a relationship with who, with three options. 

You and Stanley.

You and Xeno.

Xeno and Stanley.

No one knew who made it, or who put it up. It had no name, no one recognized the handwriting, and not a single one of the three of you seemed too interested in it. At most, it got a raised eyebrow from Xeno, but little else. You and Stanley barely even looked at it. 

By the end of the first day it was posted, there were equal votes between the pairings.

-

Luna’s face was burning hot, her whole body shaking as she tried to be as silent as possible so as to not get caught. Which was seriously hard considering what she had just walked in on.

Stanley had you against a wall, your legs around his waist, his lips pressing seriously hot kisses into yours.

She was going to be haunted by the noises you two were making for weeks.

-

“My love, if you would,” Xeno’s words make Brody jump a little. The man watches you flit from the other side of the room to your great leader’s side, pressing close to him. 

Xeno hands you something, catching you in a quick kiss before sending you off to do whatever task he’d assigned. 

“I’ll be right back,” You say, earning yourself a hum. 

“Do hurry, I miss you far too much when you’re gone,” Xeno says, making you grin and your cheeks flush a nice pink. 

“Flatterer,” You coo, already heading towards the door. The look you flash Brody as you pass him is downright mischievous, leaving the engineer wondering just what exactly he was missing here.

-

Xeno’s chest heaves with heavy pants, his hand swiping over his mouth to remove the lipstick that Stanley had smeared over him before another colonist had wandered into the room without knocking to get Xeno’s opinion on something. 

Stanley narrows his eyes at the poor fool, who stares at them with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. 

“Get out.” Stanley hisses, “Xeno’s fucking busy.” 

“Yes sir!” 

-

Your little experiment goes on for weeks. The poll gets changed out on a regular basis in order for Xeno to note how things do or don’t change based on whether you all are caught being affectionate with each other. However, it spurs something none of you had expected. A new rumor rushes through the colony, one that was far less fun or interesting. 

“I think they’re all cheating on each other with each other.” 

You’re the one to hear that one, whispered hurriedly between Luna and Charlotte as you walk by to meet with Xeno for an update on some issues with the cows you’d been looking into. Both the young women look at you with wide eyes before scattering when they realize you’re standing nearby. 

Well, that wasn’t good. 

You spend the day thinking about it, about how quickly that had spread, and how it could affect the morale of the colony. If people thought Xeno wasn’t a faithful partner, his abilities as a leader could come into question. Not only that, but one of the reasons people still followed Xeno was because he was genuinely likeable. If resentment towards him started to creep around due to rumors of him being a part of some affair, things could take a turn for the worse. Sure, it may be a bit of a stretch, but it still worries you nonetheless. 

It’s still on your mind when you walk into the lab the next day, where Xeno and Stanley wait for you along with several other colonists. You wonder how they don’t feel the weight of the tension in the room when you enter. 

A frown presses into your face. The dissent you worried about was already growing; you were going to have to end the experiment. And if Xeno’s expression told you anything, he was thinking the same.

-

The truth comes out by elaborate design.

It starts with someone ‘finding’ the weeks of collected polls in one of Xeno’s storage cabinets after he sent them to get something else for him. After that, you make a comment about your husbands, making sure to carefully enunciate the plurality of the word, during a conversation. The final blow comes during dinner one night. 

You enter the dining hall, where a majority of the colony was gathered for their evening meal, and head straight to where Xeno and Stanley were waiting for you. The three of you rarely eat with everyone like this, so between that and the continued confusion and rumors, everyone’s eyes are on you. 

“Sorry I’m late,” You say, joining them at their chosen table. “I got caught up with something.” 

“No worries, my love,” Xeno says, nice and loud. 

“We don’t mind waiting for you,” Stanley adds. 

You smile, eyes glancing quickly around the room before looking at Xeno for confirmation. He gives the subtlest of nods, signaling his okay. 

Leaning your elbows on the table, you speak loud enough for everyone to hear without yelling. 

“So, for tonight, I was thinking that we could all go stargazing,” You say. “It is my turn to pick what we do.” 

“We’re creating light pollution here, so if we want to see anything worthwhile, we’ll have to travel for that,” Xeno says. 

“Fine with me,” Stanley says. “Long as we’re together, I don’t care.” 

You beam at the two of them, pushing up to stretch your body over the table and press kisses to them both. First to Xeno, then to Stanley. 

“Perfect,” You coo.

-

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I have no idea.”

“Wait, are they all dating each other?” 

“Can you do that?!”

“I…I have no idea…”

“I don’t see why they couldn’t. I mean, do the rules of the old world still really matter here?” 

“...who do you think was the third?”