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‘Julius vi Britannia’

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Stage 0: Beginning

Pendragon Imperial Palace, Pendragon, Holy Britannian Empire June 1, 2007 a.t.b.

A soft melody could be heard from one of the bedrooms. Servants who worked in the halls would stop to listen. They would smile and then continue their work. They knew that song and who was behind the door: Julius vi Britannia, the 11th (½, that is) prince of the empire.

The seven year-old prince would play on his violin every evening, focusing on the gentle melody he perfected with ease. The song he was playing was something his mother taught him on one of his birthdays. “Moon Princess” would make him think of a beautiful maiden who would sing each night on the moon. The sweet gentle moonlight from her home would give people pleasant dreams, he believed. Because of the story he thought of, it became one of his favorite songs to play.

Speaking of concerts, he wished he could leave this cage of a room to perform for others. He loved how people from outside his bedroom would occasionally hear and praise. However, he wanted more than that. But the problem was that he can’t leave for whatever reason. Julius tried by asking the guards side by side his door. The answer he would get, “You cannot leave this room. Your father is trying to protect you. He’ll lift the order once the danger is gone.” Right. His father was emperor. He heard his own father was the reason he was locked up. At first, he was mad. The boy could argue, but he would never fight his father. He loved him as much he loved his mother, who would visit him from time to time. So, he cannot go against his own father, the man who was protecting him. He had wondered what this “danger” was, but he decided to drop it.

The young prince finished playing the song, sitting down on his bed to rest. His violin laid by his side. His violet eyes were looking down on the floor. Music sheets were scattered, but in a neat pile. Books, the same way. He picked up a sheet, reading the notes. That sheet, all of the sheets in fact, were all from his mother. The prince softly smiled. At least he was completely alone by himself. His mother would come by to check on him, making sure he was well. One time, he had played a song for her on her birthday to surprise her with his violin talent. She had enjoyed it, telling him he was a musical prodigy. A prodigy, huh, he was thinking to himself. If I wasn’t a prince, I would definitely become a musician. People would applaud and a lady might throw a red rose to me. He sighed, lying down. He held the music sheet close to him. Someday, I will be free and share my talent with the world. The child could only wait.

Little did he know, a lone woman with green hair was watching him through the window. She was standing on the grassy hill, her golden eyes watching the figure eventually sleep. She soon turned away.

~~~ April 12, 2009 a.t.b.

Julius hadn’t seen his mother all day. He was wondering what was going on. Could she be busy with running the empire with Father? She could be away to another country for some meeting? He stared out his window to see the sun still shining brightly. The flowers were in bloom, swaying to the gentle breeze. He never felt the breeze before. Maybe someday-.

His thought was interrupted by the unlock click sound on his door. The boy turned around with a smile. “Mother, you-.” His smile faded when he saw the visitor was not his mother, but rather a young man in a black suit with white gloves. His expression was making the prince confused. “Where’s Mother? Is she alright?”

“I’m sorry, my prince. She…” The man kneeled down to Julius’s height and hugged him. He felt the man’s body tremble and tears on the back of the boy’s dress shirt. Was he dreaming? Was this happening? Was his mother…? “She what? What happened?” The valet’s breathing quicken, more tears dropping. He said only one word that made the prince’s heart shatter, “Deceased.”

~~~

The funeral was being held. Members and staff of the royal family were attending, their faces cloaked with sorrow. A girl was being comforted by an older sister.

Once everyone was present, the pastor went to the podium. Even though he was deeply saddened by the tragedy, his mission to bring comfort to the people present was clear as day. “Friends and family. We are gathered to honor the memory of Marianne vi Britannia, our beloved queen of Britannia. She was killed by a terrorist attack. Many of us are deeply affected by this loss. Let us pray together.” He bowed his head, and closed his eyes. Everyone else did too.

After what seem like an eternity, the pastor lifted his head. “To conclude the event, we will have a young prince play a song in the queen’s honor and memory.” He nodded to a boy no older than 8 years of age. He was wearing a blue cloak to represent his mother’s service in the Knights of Round. The boy began to play his mother’s favorite song, his eyes closed to focus. He was thinking of her, imagining her best features: her angelic voice, her warm hug, her smile. He wished he could cry. But, he can’t. He must smile and remember for her. This is his beginning.

~~~~

I live about 6 hours away, so that car trip back and forth + the appointment in one day was EXHAUSTING, for the next trip (7-27-2026) I'll leave the night before. My whole body hurts like hell and my energy is shot.

First a nurse came in and took my blood pressure; I think there normally would have been more intake questions but I answered them online a week ago so this part moved pretty fast.

The doctor first came in and talked/asked questions about the surgery (they can't do this and vaginectomy at the same time at this hospital, which was my main question at this point) and what the recovery time looked like (about 4 weeks). Two years ago I'd had a pap smear (after being on testosterone for about 5 years at that point) and they wanted me to get another because the results of the first one came back odd (and it had been two years). People that have been on testosterone a while frequently get weird pap smear results and they wanted to see if it was normal weird or scary weird. Regardless of those results, she said the surgery would probably be around December 2026 and I'm waiting on a call for that date now. She said she would leave the room and asked me to undress below the waist and sit on the table with the paper blanket over my lap.

I had two lower exams, a pap smear and a pelvic exam; the doctor said I could opt out of one or both at any time but I did both in the interest of getting everything done as well/thoroughly as possible for the best outcome (and so I never have to do this shit again) She did the pap smear first; she narrated what she was doing and when she was about to touch me anywhere, I appreciated that a lot. She inserted a speculum and used a swab inside, then took both out. The pelvic exam consisted in her inserting a finger and using her other hand on the outside of my stomach to feel something. The physical feeling of the speculum was uncomfortable, but personally I found the dysphoria to be the worst part of it. No part of this was overtly painful, just weird sensations and uncomfortable. When she did the pelvic exam I had a very brief pang of light headedness/nausea, because some people can have a vasovagal response to that. She mentioned the results of the two tests would be back in about 3 days for one and a week for the other (to the best of my memory). She sent in a prescription for an estrogen cream (to be inserted inside) to be used in the month before surgery to help with healing.

Rest of the post continued under the cut, for length (I took lots of notes throughout and tried to keep track of every part of it) and anatomical language.