#ssoo

virus (vanny) sona based off that one post by @honeynutios

yyeeaa

explodes

liineeart

I'm a bit shy to write to you but I watched a play at Hogsmeade a few days ago, with you as one of the actors. I... I didn't know Hogwarts students can have such hobbies but... I stood sadly really far away (your fans didn't let me get closer) but I saw everything. And when you took of your **** and walked around with a ****, swinging, I... Felix, where is your modesty!

A concerned classmate,

August

P. S. Perhaps it wasn't you but the hair! I am sure it was you!

Dear August,

Yes, you spotted me. :) I am delighted you came to see the play, even if from a distance! You probably caught us in the middle of our latest fundraiser performance for the @dont-ask-ssoo. We were raising galleons for the "Wands Out for Witches and Wizards in Need" campaign. The name sounds cheeky, but the SSOO said it's all for a good cause.

@ask-andrew-montrose was there as well. Monty and I often volunteer for these kinds of events. It was likely him you saw wildly swinging his... er, dinglehopper. But I assure you, it's all in good fun.

I truly apologise if the sight left you disturbed in any way. Sometimes we get a bit carried away in the spirit of the moment. I am sorry if the play caused you any discomfort.

Do take care, August. If you ever find yourself closer to the action, do say hello - I promise the wiggly wands will be safely tucked away!

With warm regards (and a promise of more modest attire in future encounters),

Dear Andrew, 

We, the SSOO and the Children’s Orphanage, thank you for your volunteering to raise proceeds for the children’s Christmas gifts this year.  

Attached is the shift schedule, because the SSOO is nothing if not concerned for their volunteers’ well being. 

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas, 

The SSOO

P.S. We have taken the liberty of sending you a premium belt with your costume, knowing your fondness for them. Please feel free to keep it afterwards for your… excursions. The suppliers don’t accept returns which have been soiled. 

To Whom It May Concern,

While I find it greatly troublesome that your organization is founded upon an interest in such a questionable subject, you are most welcome. I cannot protest to helping children in need.

I shall be there as long as we can keep this schedule rotation in place. A holiday season without loosing a few limbs is always more appealing.

Oh- the belt and trousers will do just fine.

I won't be needing the coat. Or a shirt of any kind.

Happy Holidays.

-Montrose

P.S.

You’ve been muttering 'war' under your breath for the past minute Will. What in Godric's name has gotten you so belligerent?

Being in a rather distracted state, homework — the last thing on his mind, William doesn't react to Allegra's words at first, only taking his eyes away from the textbook when he feels her looking at him. He frowns as well, realizing he was probably saying things in his less-than-peaceful contemplation. 

This is William, the Slytherin prefect. I am writing to you with an interesting proposition. A while ago I have noticed you and @adallegra discussing a certain parchment you managed to... borrow from someone in your dorm. The matter disclosed in that piece of writing is of an utmost importance to me: it has to do with the SSOO. I am sure you remember, the "secret" Sallow fan club?

Well. It fell upon me to investigate this matter further. I might require your assistance to get to the bottom of this! As a prefect, I am to stop all the activities that students might engage in past curfew. Should you agree to help, our task is to find the students who'd be willing to talk about the club. Should this plan fail, we are to do a little bit of... observing on our own. How ironic considering the name of the organisation!

If you are interested, I'll be waiting in the further left corner of the library after dinner.

Sincerely yours,

William Abbot

All through dinner, Theo could hardly touch her meal or pay attention to anyone around her. Mostly, she was attempting to talk as little as possible (which was hard for her) as to not blurt out news of the potential…investigations. She was practically bursting with excitement. Despite that, she told herself she could be secretive when she wanted to be….after all, she was the one who had found that letter in the first place.

Speaking of which- her eyes flick to the number one suspect in question: Lenora Everleigh. With a displeased hum, she notes Lenora had chosen peas and carrots as her vegetable dish tonight. That was suspicious enough in itself for Theo. Ghastly combination of food. What else was she capable of??

Before she could look at the horror that was anyone partaking in peas and carrots, her thoughts turned to William’s letter. She had to admit, she was slightly concerned about him …mostly because the last time they had spoken on the matter it had been so long ago. Her brows furrow in slight concern at the realization, hoping the whole matter hadn’t completely taken over his mind since then, but, knowing him…she sighed, supposing she’d see for herself in just a short time.

She quickly shoves the rest of the meal in her face before she scampers off to the library, letter in hand. She spots him right where he’d said he’d be. She was glad to see the corner of the library did provide some shadow, perfect for their meeting and adding a little bit of dramatics. She makes no grand gestures to flag him down, as to not call attention to the two of them, and just quietly slips into the seat next to him.

“So... I see someone’s ready for Phase One of W.A.R, hm?” She says by way of greeting with a mischievous grin. “I’m quite impressed William. A prefect such as yourself stealthing around? They are some slippery ones, those SSOO's. We’ve certainly left them alone long enough! Been far too easy on them, really. Hopefully it’s lulled them into a false sense of security! You should’ve seen Lenora at dinner. peas and carrots for Merlin’s sake…”

She doesn’t care to explain the peas and carrots comment, but her rambling does pause slightly as her eyes flick to William’s with determination.

vs

How they should have communicated

A.) When Zack goes to see Angeal, who has popped out a wing...

How it went:

A: “You see, I’m a MONSTER. Here, in the Handbook of Monsterdom, it says that ‘a Monster’s goal is usually world domination or revenge.’”

Z: “That’s... Super not funny, Angeal. ALSO WHAT THE FUCK PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL AND MAKING CHOICES?”

A: “Sorry Zack, I’m too deep in an existential crisis to explain myself any further.”

How it should’ve gone:

A: “You see, Zack... It’s not this pretty wing I popped that is botherin’ me. Flying feels pretty awesome and all. The problem is WHY I have a wing. The problem is that I was MADE this way, strong and special, only to be groomed to commit war crime in behalf of Shinra. After clearin’ up all that fog of propaganda and idiotic dreams and honor bullshit I used to believe in, now I’ve become an irredeemable monster who can’t quite live with myself.” :)

Z: *Still doesn’t quite get it but tries to process* Yeah but what the fuck was that thing about world domination and revenge?

A: “Uh... Revenge.. On Shinra, because it’s full of shit and it ruined the lives of two innocent kids from the beginning, turning us into THIS. World domination? I don’t know Zack, there’s this weird whisper, almost like an ALIEN or something living within me that is really, really into world domination. Dang, my head feels foggy about that one.”

B.) When Genesis goes see Sephiroth at the Nibelheim reactor

How it went:

S: *already feels completely betrayed and left-out by how G and A disappeared without explaining anything to him*

G: “HAHAHAHA! You’re a monster made of the flesh of a grotesque mass of alien body parts that fell out of space, just like I and Angeal! ALSO, I AM REALLY JEALOUS OF YOU FOR BEING THE ONE WHO WON’T DIE PREMATURELY. Now give me a piece of you so I can fix myself.”

S: “...Wow. Go rot.” *is REALLY hurt by everything that has happened so far, and REALLY angry and disappointed in Genesis without a shred of trust left for him*

G: *is shocked* “Why... Why doesn’t he want to be my best buddy and lend me his own flesh anymore? :’( H-he’s such a monster. 

How it should’ve gone:

S: *Lost and confused in his existential crisis and feeling betrayed*

G: “Seph.. Seph my buddy. I know how you feel. Can we talk?”

S: “...TALK? Finally, you’re going to TALK instead of running away without an explanation?”

G: “...Buddy... I was going to tell you... But couldn’t right away, because as you know, you’re strong and all.. You could’ve stopped our plans in case you happened to be against them, and I needed to think through HOW to explain this to you..”

S: “Meaning, you and Angeal didn’t trust me to side with you... You thought I would attack you in behalf of Shinra. I worried myself sick for the two of you.” *Is bitter*

G: “...I’m so sorry Seph.. It was a tense situation and we were afraid. But we noticed how you avoided going after us, and... You’re one of us, Seph. You, I and Angeal.. There are no others like us, and we were used. It’s wrong.”

S: *processing* “This is really fucked-up, Genesis.”

G: “It is...”

S: “..You’re.. dying? Hollander couldn’t do shit eh?”

G: “Well, uh, actually... I found out about a way... But that’s another conversation for another day! Now would you please tag along so we can talk more and you won’t have to be alone in that whole ‘monster’ ordeal?”