#ssoo

I'm a bit shy to write to you but I watched a play at Hogsmeade a few days ago, with you as one of the actors. I... I didn't know Hogwarts students can have such hobbies but... I stood sadly really far away (your fans didn't let me get closer) but I saw everything. And when you took of your **** and walked around with a ****, swinging, I... Felix, where is your modesty!

A concerned classmate,

August

P. S. Perhaps it wasn't you but the hair! I am sure it was you!

Dear August,

Yes, you spotted me. :) I am delighted you came to see the play, even if from a distance! You probably caught us in the middle of our latest fundraiser performance for the @dont-ask-ssoo. We were raising galleons for the "Wands Out for Witches and Wizards in Need" campaign. The name sounds cheeky, but the SSOO said it's all for a good cause.

@ask-andrew-montrose was there as well. Monty and I often volunteer for these kinds of events. It was likely him you saw wildly swinging his... er, dinglehopper. But I assure you, it's all in good fun.

I truly apologise if the sight left you disturbed in any way. Sometimes we get a bit carried away in the spirit of the moment. I am sorry if the play caused you any discomfort.

Do take care, August. If you ever find yourself closer to the action, do say hello - I promise the wiggly wands will be safely tucked away!

With warm regards (and a promise of more modest attire in future encounters),

He duels.

He volunteers for charity.

He unknowingly * steals 'yo girl**.

A study in charm by the SSOO.

10 galleons per session.

—

*We were legally advised to add this.

**Girl, boy, niffler, iceberg, you name it.

Workshops are not conducted by Sebastian Sallow. NO REFUNDS.

It is Sebastian's likeness that catches his attention first. Fred's face flushes as he feels rather weak in his knees at such a sudden intrusion into his space. His icon, his unreachable ideal, looking at him! Something is a bit off with Sebastian's nose but it doesn't matter! Such likeness! Fred sweats a little as he picks up the pamphlet and reads it.

He duels.

Oh, that he does! If only Fred could be even half, no, quarter as good as Sebastian!

He volunteers for charity.

Of course he does, such a kind soul, thinking of the weak and vulnerable! Unlike Sebastian, the Gryffindor believes himself to be a coward who would end up being bullied and would never stand up for himself, yet along other people.

He unknowingly steals 'yo girl.

Oh, he has done that for sure... Cassandra would not stop talking about Sebastian at some point! Up until she announced that she had broken up with the Slytherin. Strange, since Fred didn't see them together around as much. But isn't Sebastian a broom closet commissaire? Surely he knows more secrets than Fred could ever have hoped to discover!

Fred sighs. SSOO's information has always been the most accurate when it came to Sebastian. Surely even somebody as pathetic a Fred can learn at least a little bit about charm, right? 10 Galleons is a lot of money but he can get at least one session to see what it's all about, right? It'll help, right? He'll be as charming as Sebastian, right?

Please accept our heartfelt apologies for the unreasonable behaviour displayed by some of our classmates in reaction to your state of undress. 

Rest assured that we are looking to expand our services into security, given the utter lack of respect for privacy and boundaries at our school.

On a positive note, we did manage to raise quite a significant sum for the orphanage, so it’s safe to say their Christmas will be a warm one, unlike yesterday’s overly wandering hands.

As a token of our gratitude, and not because we were lightly threatened, we have attached to this owl a voucher for Flourish and Blotts. They have recently started accepting owl orders, and we’re confident that you will find the latest volumes of a certain series in stock. 

Gratefully,  The SSOO

Dear SSOO Team,

Your letter brings a smile to my face, though I must confess, I found the whole ordeal rather amusing. No harm done, truly. Thank you for your kind gesture with the Flourish and Blotts voucher! I'm thrilled at the prospect of diving into the latest volumes of that certain series. I suspect my roommates might hear a bit too much excited chatter from my corner!

Please, don't fret over yesterday's antics. It takes more than a bit of unexpected exposure to ruffle my feathers. Besides, knowing our antics helped raise funds for the orphanage brings a smile to my face. I'm honoured to have been a part of such a noble cause.

Thank you once again for the voucher and for the opportunity to work alongside you. Should you ever need a hand again, you need only send word.

With warm regards,

Dearest Felix, 

We, the SSOO and the Children’s Orphanage, thank you for your volunteering to raise proceeds for the children’s Christmas gifts this year.  

Attached is the shift schedule, because the SSOO is nothing if not concerned for their volunteers’ well being. 

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas, 

The SSOO

P.S. We apologise for the fault in our supplier’s products as all the upper garments seem to be missing buttons. It was our thinking that since you may be the most comfortable in states of undress with your Swedish upbringing, (though, we may have to revise that thought with what went down in the Three Broomsticks Montrose), that we had to apologetically assign you with the most botched coat. Do forgive us. 

Dear SSOO Team,

I trust this message finds you well amidst the holiday hustle and bustle. Warm greetings and many thanks for the delightful package! I appreciate the careful consideration that went into selecting my ensemble for this year's fundraising event.

I extend my heartfelt gratitude to both the SSOO and the Children's Orphanage for entrusting me with the task of raising proceeds for the children's Christmas gifts. It's an honour to be a part of such a meaningful cause, and I'm eager to contribute to spreading joy and merriment.

No need to worry about the missing buttons on the coat; I'll make it work, and who knows, maybe a buttonless Santa will bring a few more smiles! I understand that accidents happen, and it's the spirit of giving that truly counts.

Thanks again for this opportunity and the shift schedule; it's heartening to see such thoughtfulness from the SSOO Team. I'm excited to team up with Sebastian and Andrew for this wonderful cause. Despite the button mishap, I'm sure our festive trio will bring joy and laughter to all.

Wishing the entire SSOO team a joyful and Happy Christmas!

Looking forward to spreading joy and laughter together,

Dear Andrew, 

We, the SSOO and the Children’s Orphanage, thank you for your volunteering to raise proceeds for the children’s Christmas gifts this year.  

Attached is the shift schedule, because the SSOO is nothing if not concerned for their volunteers’ well being. 

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas, 

The SSOO

P.S. We have taken the liberty of sending you a premium belt with your costume, knowing your fondness for them. Please feel free to keep it afterwards for your… excursions. The suppliers don’t accept returns which have been soiled. 

To Whom It May Concern,

While I find it greatly troublesome that your organization is founded upon an interest in such a questionable subject, you are most welcome. I cannot protest to helping children in need.

I shall be there as long as we can keep this schedule rotation in place. A holiday season without loosing a few limbs is always more appealing.

Oh- the belt and trousers will do just fine.

I won't be needing the coat. Or a shirt of any kind.

Happy Holidays.

-Montrose

P.S.

This is William, the Slytherin prefect. I am writing to you with an interesting proposition. A while ago I have noticed you and @adallegra discussing a certain parchment you managed to... borrow from someone in your dorm. The matter disclosed in that piece of writing is of an utmost importance to me: it has to do with the SSOO. I am sure you remember, the "secret" Sallow fan club?

Well. It fell upon me to investigate this matter further. I might require your assistance to get to the bottom of this! As a prefect, I am to stop all the activities that students might engage in past curfew. Should you agree to help, our task is to find the students who'd be willing to talk about the club. Should this plan fail, we are to do a little bit of... observing on our own. How ironic considering the name of the organisation!

If you are interested, I'll be waiting in the further left corner of the library after dinner.

Sincerely yours,

William Abbot

All through dinner, Theo could hardly touch her meal or pay attention to anyone around her. Mostly, she was attempting to talk as little as possible (which was hard for her) as to not blurt out news of the potential…investigations. She was practically bursting with excitement. Despite that, she told herself she could be secretive when she wanted to be….after all, she was the one who had found that letter in the first place.

Speaking of which- her eyes flick to the number one suspect in question: Lenora Everleigh. With a displeased hum, she notes Lenora had chosen peas and carrots as her vegetable dish tonight. That was suspicious enough in itself for Theo. Ghastly combination of food. What else was she capable of??

Before she could look at the horror that was anyone partaking in peas and carrots, her thoughts turned to William’s letter. She had to admit, she was slightly concerned about him …mostly because the last time they had spoken on the matter it had been so long ago. Her brows furrow in slight concern at the realization, hoping the whole matter hadn’t completely taken over his mind since then, but, knowing him…she sighed, supposing she’d see for herself in just a short time.

She quickly shoves the rest of the meal in her face before she scampers off to the library, letter in hand. She spots him right where he’d said he’d be. She was glad to see the corner of the library did provide some shadow, perfect for their meeting and adding a little bit of dramatics. She makes no grand gestures to flag him down, as to not call attention to the two of them, and just quietly slips into the seat next to him.

“So... I see someone’s ready for Phase One of W.A.R, hm?” She says by way of greeting with a mischievous grin. “I’m quite impressed William. A prefect such as yourself stealthing around? They are some slippery ones, those SSOO's. We’ve certainly left them alone long enough! Been far too easy on them, really. Hopefully it’s lulled them into a false sense of security! You should’ve seen Lenora at dinner. peas and carrots for Merlin’s sake…”

She doesn’t care to explain the peas and carrots comment, but her rambling does pause slightly as her eyes flick to William’s with determination.