If you can't both laugh during sex, especially when things go wrong, are you really with the right person?
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If you can't both laugh during sex, especially when things go wrong, are you really with the right person?

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I saw a post recently which suggested that being a slave (in the d/s context) had a deeper meaning than being a sub. That as a sub, they had the choice to say no if they weren't in the mood to do something and as a slave, they couldn't. And it bothered me until I sat and thought, "that's just how they do it".
I think we all need the reminder sometimes, that how we live this lifestyle is entirely personal and different to how the next person will. And it only bothered me because being a sub is so important to me. As a sub, I would never think to myself that I could just say no if I wasn't in the mood to do something my dom had asked me to do. My version of 'sub' has just as deep a meaning as their version of 'slave'.
At the end of the day, these are all titles that we give ourselves. What they mean to one person is entirely different to the next. There is no one true set of rules to live this lifestyle, it's just what works for you and is safe, sane and consensual. You can have no rules, no punishments or a 10 page contract full of each. It really doesn't matter as long as everyone is happy and satisfied in the relationship. There needs to be more acceptance and less judgement about how people live their dynamic.
My one sticking point (and a slight tangent) is always going to be safewords. I see so many posts lately about how being a slave means giving up your safeword and it scares me. I truly believe that everyone should always reserve their right to have a safe way out of a situation. Sub, slave, dom, master, mistress, little..everyone should be able to feel safe enough to stop something when they need to. But again that's just my opinion. I just feel that it's important to point out to people, that 'slaves having no safeword' is not a rule, especially to those who may be new to the lifestyle. If you choose to live that way, so be it, but if somebody tells you factually, that's just how it's done, then don't accept that and run.
Punishments shouldn't be fun. Please can we stop saying that they are sexy and fun and that we are going to ask for or 'earn' a punishment. Funishments are an entirely different thing, if you want to push playfully and its an acceptable part of your dynamic to role play that, go crazy and you do you.
Punishments are a learning experience to correct an action. They're not for fun.
Hey, d-type lovelies! We love to see you just as much as you love to see us. So don't hold it back. A lot of us s-types may have trouble asking for what we want and need. We want to see you. We want to see how you feel about us. We want to seeeeeee what the things we do for you, do to you!!! We want this to be give and take. Seeing you turns us on as much as you seeing us does. We maybe just have trouble verbalising that sometimes.
Just saying...
Don't be so quick to yuck somebody else's kinks, because one day they might be your yum!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Subs, you're allowed to be the strong one sometimes.
Doms, you're allowed to be the sappy one sometimes.
Tumblr d/s isn't real life. Its not all doms in suits and kneeling subs. It's not black and white. It's a relationship like any other and it needs give and take on both sides. It's supposed to be loving and it's supposed to be fun. You're not doing it wrong if it's right for you.
You don't need to try and strive for the fake, photoshopped, perfect d/s portrayed here. All your imperfections and badly timed giggles, wobbly days and things that don't go to plan are your version of perfect d/s and that's what you should strive for.
Sending inappropriate asks and unsolicited naked pictures is just as bad when girls do it to guys. Being gross is being gross, irregardless of gender. Stop it and have more respect for yourself and other people.
We see so many stories and posts about bad doms, and whilst I agree that a bad dom can cause more harm due to the inherent power exchange in the relationship, there are just as many bad subs out there.
So here's a shout out to, all the amazing doms who step up every day and take their responsibility seriously.
Thank you for all that you do.