#spockasmr

THE PITT 2.08: 2:00 P.M.

Econogoat! Back home where he belongs. The missing piece of the puzzle, man. There he is!

For me, the Adebayo-Peacemaker relationship is so important because he brings magic to her life and she brings vulnerability and rawness and truth to his. And the combination of those two things makes them both spectacular people. But then she says, the thing to me that I find the most touching [...] she looks at him and she says, "You're big and you're dumb and you're stupid. But when I'm around you, I know you love me. And you might be the only person in the world that I can say that about." I'm crying because it's touching and the way she performs it is touching. I'm also crying because that's my dad. And... that was the way I felt about him. And that's probably Peacemaker. Goof. You know, this buffoonish, imperfect guy who's just so generous and so full of love. And I knew my dad loved me. And I'm not sure I was able to say that about anybody else in this world until Jen.

1. what's the best advice u have ever been given?

the first thing that popped into my mind is with writing, how u can ignore the old adage that u need to write every day. that's not true - write when u want to, when ur feeling good and will feel good about what u have written. writing when ur gonna just pick apart everything u did is the opposite of helpful.

also, idk if this counts as advice, but in one of my classes last semester, we talked about the sometimes toxic positivity that exists in so many places, especially surrounding disability and mental health. i'm not talking about "drink water, take a walk, and u will magically be fine." but like, "i love/am proud of my disability/mental illness, it's part of who i am and i wouldn't have it any other way." like, if u can think that way, i'm happy for u, but there also has to be room in the community who don't think that way. personally, i have bpd, and i hate it, and wish i didn't have it. it's made my life miserable in so many ways. but it's ok to feel that way, and that doesn't mean i can't be proud of the progress i've made. idk if any of this makes sense lmao.

10. talk about an insecurity u overcame.

i think the insecurity that i'm stupid???? like in high school, i was the smartest kid in my class, and always felt like i was the smartest person in any room, and there was a great deal of comfort in that. but in college i realized i was definitely NOT the smartest person, bc the university i attend is full of kids who were also the smartest kid in their class, etc. and i lost all confidence in my academics.

but now i kinda just...........got over that? it's not like i think i'm a genius now, but i'll raise my hand and answer questions and add to discussions in class when before i wouldn't bc i felt like i was an idiot that would say something wrong. i think it just came with getting older tbh.

19. tell me something u don't like telling people u are close to.

i'm a rly jealous person when it comes to any type of relationship - friendships, anything romantic, etc. i think it comes from my fear of abandonment bc i always think that if someone i'm close to spends time with someone else, they're gonna end up liking them more than me, and then end their relationship with me.

If Samira put in an order, there was a reason. I trust her. Maybe you should too.

Trust your gut. I’ll back you up.