#spn20rewatch

This is just a way for me to connect and have fun with one of my favorite shows. So I can't guarantee that all of this is 100% correct.

Masterpost for the other seasons as well as destiel focused infographics

Taglist

SAM WINCHESTER — HANDS

DEAN WINCHESTER

Let's pretend for the moment you're not entirely insane.

what can you say about the episode of all time?

that every time i watch it, it becomes more and more clear how predatory and violating alastair was/is toward dean, how much is hinted at and hidden just in the shadows; it is confirmed by being unuttered. that alastair is lying through his teeth about john not breaking in hell. that i know it will take dean years to realize that and it breaks my fucking heart. that i love watching how much cas is starting to care about dean.

that dean says:

You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out.

and then - and i cannot emphasize this enough - he does not walk out. he is carried out, beaten nearly to death.

that alastair clearly doesn't know how reluctant dean was to try to torture him. alastair thinks this is something dean sought out:

ALASTAIR: Do you really think this is gonna fix you? Give you closure? That is sad. That's really sad. Sad, sad.

i wonder what alastair would do with the information that dean basically had to be kidnapped and threatened to even be there. but even then the only reason he actually tries to torture alastair is because cas asks him.

and it was all for nothing anyway. uriel was killing the angels. uriel wanted to get rid of dean (to guarantee lucifer would win). so he just orchestrated this entire torturous, godawful scenario to kill dean basically. (i keep harping on the uriel thing because there is a moment in 5.13 that fucking haunts me and i want to build up the proper weight).

there is something so gut wrenching about alastair saying, "Looks like God is on my side today." because, honestly, chuck kinda is. like this is his story and he's enjoying watching it play out in all the drama and pain.

i'm always struck by the parallels of what dean was forced to do in hell and what the angels try to force him to do in seasons 4 and 5. becoming a weapon, letting his body be used to hurt others, saying "yes," through coerced "consent". there is so much overlap to me. and, here, there's the moment where dean decides he is going to kill alastair - no matter what anyone else wants him to do.

DEAN: No. I don't think you are lying. But even if the demons do win... You won't be there to see it.

it reminds me of this part from 5.18

ZACHARIAH: Michael’s not gonna kill me. DEAN: Maybe not. But I am.

righteous but not by some stupid angelic definition! that is a man who loves the world so much he frees it from god.

anyway, so much has been said about 4.16 and i don't want to take words out of other people's mouths so i'll just leave it here.

DEAN: I just didn't wanna ruin my shoes.