#spn discussions

His gravelly voice, intense stare, head tilts and squinting, pop culture and general humanity obliviousness, stiff posture, gay acting choices like sitting on the bed and waiting for Dean to wake up, establishing the “Cas watches Dean sleep” trait… Then there are the accidental wardrobe choices like tying the tie backwards on his first shooting day, and being afraid to tell his oversized clothing don’t fit for 2 years of production.

I mean old fans are valid for sure, but yall got so fucked up over decades long bullshitery and queerbaiting that you dont have some conversations about this show that would be important (at least imo)

Bc i keep looking for certain fandiscussions about certain topics in this show, and i cant find them. All i find is destiel angst, thirsttrap gifsets and winchest posting.

Bc i want talk about the symolism, the way it centers family and brotherly relationships instead of romantic ones, ect, but i feel like i dont have ppl here who would want to talk about it.

i just personally don’t think it’s a black and white issue if he was out, not out, repressed, supressed, proud, shamed—i think since queer journeys aren’t black and white for a lot of folks, particularly when you’re older (we don’t see a lot of queer stories with older people), his journey isn’t black and white. 

and i know some folks may blame writing but i think it’s a blessing, because we each connect with different points in the story we’re given, and then we’re forced to think about his past with a lack of friends, an abusive father (don’t fight me on this, they gave enough context that john was abusive), and a brother who just wanted to get away constantly. like dean was alone. 

so i just think it’s hard to just point to dean and his past and current show and go ‘he’s not ashamed of himself and never has been’ or ‘he was afraid of his feelings for cas’ or ‘he didn’t realized he liked men before cas’ because like—because his character is so layered and nuanced, it’s like a dress up game, mix and match what you want to focus on. 

i think there is a central story in there that everyone’s iterations comes from, which is: this guy is attracted to guys, he fell in love with this angel who decided to choose a male vessel and stick with it, and he never told said angel he loved him. 

other than that? you’re given enough background and context regarding john to make your own conclusions. i’ve made john violently homophobic, and i’m currently writing two stories where he’s generationally homophobic. we already know he was abusive, he thought his father left him and was upset about that, was in the vietnam war which in of itself you can draw so much context from, lost his wife, in this new paranormal world with two boys—it’s not out of the realm of possibility to make john not as supportive or dismissive of his son’s sexuality especially if he’s experimenting while he’s supposed to be hunting, say. you can come up with 9238739349853498 scenarios of john finding out about dean you can come up with the same number of scenarios with a reaction—it’s nuanced. you’re given enough to build a character around. 

so we get to dean who’s the same way but with way more information and everyone who looks at him sees something different, and that goes for sexuality. now, there’s no doubt, he likes men as well like that’s clear. it is what it is. but you stick a pin at any point in his life and you wonder what was going through his head at the time. every scenario on the rode, who he’s met over the years (lee), his father before and after sam left, his own romantic relationship attempts, his lonliness, different schools, low self esteem, performative masculinity, meeting different kinds of folks at backwater motels but also meeting gruff, masculine, “hetereosexual” dudes as well out in the country—

literally everywhere you look you can point to a different psychological battle, if he had the time for it, with sexuality. I don’t know about you but being queer at 17 is pretty different than being queer at 30, 40 even. 

idek what prompted this rant, and you may not agree which is fine. i was just writing a fic and it would cause me to think about what was going through his head after sam just left and just talking with folks about it i’m like ‘holy shit it’s just so different. i can’t boil it down to just one thing with this guy’

Remember when Cas used his grace to turn the screw on that leaky pipe? When he slammed the panic room door in Dean’s face without touching it? You can’t honestly tell me he just stopped that habit as he got more “human”.

We deserved Cas randomly flinging books from the other side of the room into his hands. Changing random shit in colour or shape because it’s “not the right shade” or “the craftsmanship is poor”. Flipping through TV channels with his mind.

Yeah sure, he lost his wings or got used to doing things the “human” way or bla bla bla, but to me it just sounds like the production was too lazy to do special effects. Because when Jack came into the picture, and his first homework was to learn how to levitate things? Yeah, Cas should have taught him that after he came back. I think we deserved that.

Hooded eyes that can be both intimidating as hell and adorable, and that shift into a puppy look when he frowns.

His hella bright blue eyes — I really think they’re one of Castiel’s core features. He just wouldn’t feel the same with any other colour.

THE EYEBAGS god I love them. Misha wouldn’t be Misha without his eyebags, you know? The eyebags contrast on his face so beautifully, especially in the scenes his face is illuminated. They make him look so intimidating and ethereal.

The downturned lips — I love when people have those (totally not biased cause I also have them or anything).

And you’d think that combination would just make him look scary, but it fully depends on who he looks at. As soon as it’s Dean or someone he likes, the intense gaze just seems loving and dorky.

Oh and the shape of his smile is just something else man. We always see Misha smile wide in gag reels and interviews, but Cas always has a reserved one.

Until we see him smile this wide as Cas in Byzantium. It’s so beautiful to see, despite the episode’s circumstances. I wonder what they were talking about in that montage.

From a writer’s point of view, it makes so much less sense to not have Dean reciprocate. Dean is someone who craves love and companionship, but by the end of the show, he has no one to get it from. Sam has Eileen. Dean hadn’t had a love interest in years. And even if he got one down the road, it would pale so much in comparison to what he has with Cas.

By having Dean reciprocate, you give him happiness. You give him one of the closest people to him — his best friend — as a life partner. Castiel cares so much for him, he saw Dean at his lowest, and he still believes he’s good and loving, despite all his mistakes. Cas loves him. And if Dean loves him back, he gets what he wishes for — a companion for life, who would follow him to hell and back, and who he already has a family with.