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Hc: big man is a Tman
50 notes and i post my splatoon headcanons
Does anyone else see the vision
An actual question which is pretty popular in the Splatoon fandom, how do you think lings wash themselves? Keep themselves clean. Canonically it is stated that water affects them.
Well I actually think I got a pretty good idea of this one !
I've made a little illustrated guide which pretty much summarizes it all, but here is my thought process beneath it anyways. (Long post buckle up)
So, while it's true that in my mind their ink is already taking care of most of their dirt, one can only swim into their own body fluids before it starts to reek. Especially while being a(n ink)fish. Besides, enemy ink inevitably creates irritations if not properly cleaned off at least once or twice a day. (Off The Hook advises to clean your tentacles thoroughly after a match canonically.)
Now about the water issue, the main thing to keep in mind is that it's mentioned it dissolves Inkfish, sure, but only if they are submerged in it (because ink is less dense that water). So I think that they can take water drops, although it's also mentioned (in a game dev interview) that their skin actually breaks really easily.
But they CAN clean themselves nevertheless ; they just have to follow a few rules.
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Absolutely NO BATHS.
Showers only, but put on the lightest drop setting, to the point the water feels more like drizzle (the type of rain they endure the best), just enough to get them moist and allow them to get themselves clean.
(There are specially designed shower heads on the marketplace for that, although it's the norm to have a shower with multiple options. It's recommended to always test the shower when looking for a new place, and use a portable spawner for the first times to be extra secure. Also, check your water pressure before going for a shower.)
Be gentle with your skin and tentacles while cleaning. Use foamy soaps, preferably, and soft sponges. If you're too rough, you might break the skin.
Only run the water to get yourself moisturized, then to wash the soaps. Not any more than needed.
At any time, if it starts to sting, or you feel weak, cut the water and take a break. Listen to your body.
If you don't have the time to take a shower, if you're not feeling like it or simply don't have a shower, there are always specialized body wipes available anywhere in stores. Fitting different kinds of skins & tentacles, with various perfumes, they are ideal to be used between Turf Wars or for a quick groom on the go. You can even clean yourself integraly this way if you wish, but please if you must do that in public, do so in Swim Form. Be decent.
(However, keep in mind the body wipes may be somewhat cheap and required to be at least recyclable, and also a huge market/job source, they still represent a budget, and important waste. Avoid resorting to these only. Water is in most places paid for by the community.)
In any way, do not neglect your hygiene. Else you may develop irritations, itching, dry & crusty tentacles (especially in choppy tentacuts), infections if nontreated injuries, and of course bad odor, which gets pretty bad as you count as a fish. All of these can get you mocked of and ostracized, as Freshness comes from having your turf and yourself figured out and taken well care of (we like to show that off), and unlike you may think- YOUR PEERS NOTICE.
And, of course, always brush your beak and scrub your tongue at least twice a day. Bad hygiene within the beak is the least tolerable, squiddos <3
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And so yeah, those are their golden rules when it comes to hygiene. As you can see, I might have gotten a little overboard with it, but I wanted to make it feel like a legit cleaning guide, as I suspect that's something that is taught thoroughly to young Inkfish.
They have various illustrated child books/notices about cleaning safety, and probably have at least one mandatory class about that when they're in elementary school or younger. Being fresh 'n shiny is pretty important, and they are taught to take care of their turf/living space and of themselves, because they need that so they can then properly show off. So they are taught how to do it properly and safely early on, and they're not kidding about that.
I mean in a social system where the store managers can straight up refuse to serve you if you're deemed not fresh enough, you've got to be a little serious when it comes to your personal figure.
Alright, I hope you enjoyed my explanation ! I had a lot of with it~ :))
(Also before I go, I just wanna add a filter I made of this same guide, to make it look like a poorly taken scientific report picture like in a Sunken Scroll, 'cause I thought it was Sunken Scroll material. Enjoy.)
(Thanks for asking, bye 🎵 =:> =:> =:>)

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My sleep deprived headcanons and also a biology fact that can be a chaotic headcanons
headcanon for what those little things in official renders are cause idk I think abt this a lot
headcanon but like you know how in the concerts whenever Off The Hook perform Shark Bytes Pearl would like jump out of the stage? In some concerts she decides to just reefslide onto the stage
It's usually loved by the fans but the clean up crew and government hate it cause of the mess and the fact that she's using a special outside of the splatlands
oh I love this idea that would be so cool!!! imagine her reefsliding onto the stage and when it bursts, pink and teal ink go everywhere like those colored smoke bombs!! fans in the front rows will wear white shirts so when the ink splashes from the reefslider their shirts get colored with it and they have a unique piece of merch to remember the concert <3
i can absolutely see like the president or governor or ... king/ queen? whoever controls inkadia or something- the person in charge being like "we ought to fine you for use of a special weapon outside of a designated turf war area!" and pearl is like "oh my bad, how much?" and they say like 2,000 dollars or something and pearl hands it to them in CASH from her pocket, giving them a thumbs up and saying "I'll be sure to pay beforehand next time I do it! We run on a tight schedule, I don't wanna delay our flight handling stuff like this. See ya!"
They.... make an exception for Off the Hook, because it's clear a fine will not stop them and the fans like it a lot. Maybe they temporarily declare the stage a turf war area so there's like a legal loophole for pearl to use the reefslider without getting in trouble. Either way, pearl is rich and gives no fucks, she'll do whatever she wants even if she has to pay for it later.