How improving my self concept got me out of no contact (and in a relationship) with my SP 💘
My SP and I met in January 2020. Given that this was just prior to my discovering the law of assumption (and thus had yet to learn of the concepts of everyone is you pushed out, self concept, and mental dieting), my insecurities only pushed him away and ultimately resulted in our falling out. Despite my lack of knowledge regarding the law of assumption at the time, however, I didn’t allow his decision to cut contact to consume me as I’ve always held the belief that people always come back. I simply said ‘ok’, held onto the idea / belief that he’d come back, and went on with my life. Within the hour, he changed his mind and we were back in contact.
Unbeknownst to myself at the time, however, he would only leave once again given that my self concept had yet to improve and my mind was still consumed with doubts. I was so insecure and had placed him on a pedestal so far above myself that I was convinced there was no way he could desire me. In other words, his actions were merely the result of my self concept, or my beliefs about myself (eg. that I’m undesirable, unattractive, not good enough), and my beliefs about him (eg. that he was too good for me, that he wasn’t actually interested in me, etc.).
In other words, I had yet to realize his inconsistency in my life was merely the result of my own thoughts and insecurities (everyone is you pushed out).
As my thoughts remained the same (negative) and I made no effort to improve my self concept, we remained in no contact for roughly two years. I was so desperate to get him back to the point where he was the only thing on my mind. I would have mental arguments with him, I would constantly talk about all of the things he did wrong and the things I disliked about him (because everyone is you pushed out and people can only act according to your perception of this, doing this only perpetuated his lack of communication & undesirable behavior).
I tried every technique I could find, with each attempt proving futile. Eventually, I realized that there was no point in him coming back if my self concept hadn’t changed. I had created this false notion that once e reconciled, I would inherit some newfound happiness and confidence but this was simply false (in other words, I was seeking happiness without when I should have been seeking it within). I realized that whether or not he was in my life, if I hadn’t made the effort to improve my self concept, I was still going to be the same insecure person and his behavior would only continue to endure.
Slowly but surely, I became content with our falling out. I knew that I still loved him and that I would always want a future with him, but that it was pointless to ruminate in the negative (this was around the time I discovered Neville, Sammy Ingram, and the law of assumption). I finally began exploring my options and was open to the idea that my future would be with someone else. While I had inadvertently done so, coming to this realization was essentially a mental diet of its own--I was no longer obsessing over him and the negative thoughts completely disappeared. I began to work on myself via a mental diet and affirmations and while it became very difficult at times--especially when I saw virtually no results in the mirror--I persisted, nonetheless.
As I noticed external (3D) changes (eg. people asking for my number, people being friendlier, etc.), my self concept only grew that much more. Now, I’m more confident than I’ve ever been and my self concept is virtually unshakeable. I no longer allow other people's opinions to sway me (aka I no longer place people on a pedestal) and I finally realize just how amazing and worthy I truly am.
Since doing so, my SP and I have reconciled and things are better than ever before. He’s consistent, more loving than ever, and our relationship feels so much more relaxed now that I’m no longer doubting myself and questioning whether I’m good enough for him.
The moral of this story isn't that you have to ‘let go’ of your desire in order to receive it, but you are highly encouraged to let go of your doubts, fears, insecurities, and overall negative mindset. What I’ve found to be incredibly helpful in doing so is mental dieting, affirming but also allowing negative thoughts to remain (you don’t always have to force them to cease--they’ll do so on their own), and putting myself out there by engaging in more activities (this could be anything from work to school to exercising).
I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys. Most importantly, I want to remind you that no matter how believable your negative thoughts may seem, whatever you desire can absolutely be done! At the start of my journey, I was convinced that he would never come back. I thought that because I couldn’t picture it (visualize) or believe it, I was destined for failure but—like you—I was wrong. To engage in techniques is entirely up to you: you can affirm day and night, script once a week, or merely set the intention and proceed with your life. Regardless of the route you choose to take, know that success is inevitable and that your desire is seeking you just as much as you’re seeking it.
