#specialperson

One of my friends from highschool just got engaged and it made me wonder if I’ll ever find my person. Someone to get all my movie references. Someone to sing dramatic duets with in the car. Someone who will drive to my house at 3am just to spend time with me. Someone who won’t mind spending 2 hours in a bookstore with me or helping me pick out clothes which I’ll probably never wear. Someone who I could tell all my secrets to. Someone who makes me feel safe and completely at home with just a single smile. Someone to be my partner in crime. The Goose to my Maverick. The Percy to my Annabeth. The Jim to my Pam.

Someone I can look at 40 years later and still think, you’re the the one. I know I’m still young but what if I never get to experience this? Is it just me?

I want to feel the butterflies that I get when I watch romance dramas in real life. I want someone to make me feel that way. I want to, one day, look at this person that makes me laugh and cry, that makes me want to give them my time and energy, and be like "Damn. I'm in love."

I want it to be an unexpected realization, an epiphany that my mind just clicks into place causing all those butterflies to swarm in my belly and make me feel like I could fly.

I want a love that makes me want to tough it out when things get rough. I want to show this special person that I'm willing to fight for them, be it against my mind and insecurities or any worldly obstacle that appears in our path together.

I want to work through disagreements that we will probably have because I'm so set in my ways and so bullheaded in my formed opinions.

I want them to give me another point of view and make me see why they think the way they think but still respect that I see things differently and find common ground.

I want them to teach me that there is common ground and that it is ok to have the opinions that I have and that I can cherish someone who can think differently than I do.

I want them to see that I have so much baggage but still be willing to help me work through it. It's not say that I'm not working through it on my own because goodness knows I have, but I just want them to know that there will be some days where I will be so irritable or so low that I have to recharge on my own and that space is something I will need.

I want them to be able to fall in love with me. Not love me but be in love with me. The things I want from them, I hope are what they would want from me and whatever else they may want to just have the confidence to ask. I'm pretty slow when it comes to noticing someone's feelings when they're directed at me but by all I hold dear, if you ask, I will try my damn hardest to give.