#sp 3

An overview of an enneagram type. Not an expert. May change later.

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Center: Heart/Image/Shame

Other triads: Competent, Assertive, Attachment

Basic motivation: To be successful, be admirable

Basic fear: Being a worthless failure

Wings: 3w2, 3w4

Disintegration/Stress: 9

Integration/Growth: 6

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Traits

- Strengths -

Hard working

Ambitious, doesn't give up easily

Supportive and encouraging

Adaptable

Confident

- Weaknesses -

Deceptive, very image conscious

Needs to be impressive all the time

Can be arrogant

Narcissistic

Detached from their feelings; does not understand their own heart

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Wings

- 3w2 -

With 2's need to be loved, a 3w2 is often very charming and likeable. They can shift their image and personality to suit the preferences of others. Is good at making others feel seen and valued.

- 3w4 -

The 4 wing makes the 3 core more introverted, usually. A 3w4 is more focused on work and success, always working towards their goals. They have a push and pull of wanting to put a perfect front while valuing authenticity.

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Disintegration: 9

Disintegration to 9 causes a 3 to slow down and become passive. Their ambitious nature is dead and they often give up on doing anything. Even if they are still keeping busy, these tasks will not spark any life into them. They will not bother to accomplish much, only needing to numb themselves with distractions.

Integration: 6

Integrating to 6 shifts a 3's competitive mindset to a more cooperative one. Becomes more considerate and more of a team-player. They learn to become more comfortable with who they are instead of wearing a mask all the time. They learn to be vulnerable.

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Subtypes of 3

- Sp 3 -

The least stereotypical 3 subtype. This subtype tries to avoid their vanity. Usually the most workaholic subtype, tries very hard to reach success and build the life they want. They want to be genuine in what they do and how they present themselves, not just do and have things just for the sake of it (e.g wanting a nice car bc it shows they worked for it, not to show they're rich and cool).

- Sx 3 -

More focused on their relationships (family, friends, and partners usually). They want to help others be successful, are very supportive; basically like to be people's personal cheerleaders. If their close ones are successful then they too consider themselves successful. Having this sort of power can allow them to have some control over others. They want to seem perfect and valuable to close ones, so they will shape themselves to fit their expectations and preferences.

- So 3 -

Probably the most typical 3. Often an outgoing and charming type that can network with anyone. They care about social hierarchy and power, they want to be influential. They enjoy the spotlight and work hard to cultivate an admirable, successful image to impress others.

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Enneagram list

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Need: To be the best in whatever they do. And make it a huge part of their personality.

Belongs to: The assertive heart triad, who's brilliant, societal-conscious, and capable of playing a story that everyone around them would like.

Threes are great personality types to be around. They are motivated, extremely productive and conscious about the environment they live in. And the work they do is IMMACULATE. They want to be that person people who talk about. They love the spotlight, and understand the obstacles one must face to maintain it.

But underneath this vanity, is a super insecure child. Threes are taught that love is conditional; it can only be earned if you have what the world desires. This is completely different from 2s, as they tend to "give" to get love.

Which is why 3s work hard at their desired game - be it finances, beauty, or politics - the three would always try to have a upper hand. Because looking good, and being something everyone will love is more important than self. Unhealthy 3s have the tendency to look down on those who aren't particularly ambitious, create positions to make themselves look good, and put people down to make them look worse.

3s, along with 6s and 9s are completely detached from their self. They struggle to introspect and reflect on their actions, due to suppressing their intelligent centers.

Wings:

3w2: The more prideful 3s. They try to meet the expectations that people have set for them, and expect people to applaud them for their success. They care about being seen and loved, more than being the best. A lot of them do tend of have pick me energies.

3w4: The envious 3. They want to be seen as the best. They care less about being wanted because their vanity lies more in their success. They are also the type to have one specific area that they'd want to succeed in, and will be anything to be good at that.

Subtypes:

Sp: The type that wants to be good at things, for the fear that they'd lose things around them. Now, this would make them sound a lot like 6s or 1s, however their vanity over their successes is evident, no matter how much they try to hide it. Another interesting quality of this subtype is that they tend to have vanity in no vanity. Which means they'd like to downplay their successes a lot of times, just to fit in with the "successful bunch" or with people in general.

eg: Miyuki Shirogane

He takes pride in being the school president. In fact, for someone who comes from a low-income background, the distinction of being the school president acts as a protective blanket against Kaguya, and the rest of the school. He became the school president in the hopes to get noticed by the people he wants the attention from (Kaguya, his mother). The status of being the best is school is a safety blanket, and nothing more.

Sx: They don't tend to talk a lot of themselves. This type wants to earn love and appreciation by making the person bonded to them successful. Their entire personality becomes about their prized possession succeeding, since they assume that their "success" is its own.

eg: Ai Hoshino

Ai's need to find a love where she would be accepted is the motivating factor behind her being successful. She begins by thinking that this would be attained through her career as an idol. Someone's dissatisfied with her performance ? Not a problem. She works on it and perfects it. So much to the point that she starts to believe that her fan's love for her is what she has always wanted.

But then, she ends up having the twins. Which completely changed the way she viewed love. Ai started pouring her everything into her kids, albeit having a successful career as an idol, and a new career in the field of acting. And finally, towards the end of her life, we get to see the satisfaction. The happiness and the pride she received by devoting a part of her life for her children. How eventually their success sounded even more beautiful to her. Her entire life revolved around making others feel like they made her a success story.

So: Your typical 3. They want to be seen as successful. To them, a lot times, the fame that comes from success is more important than the success itself. They firmly believe that being seen as successful by others makes them a success. That they're finally worth of the applause, and love they receive from the rest of the world.

Eg: Oikawa Tooru

His entire self-image is around his ability to play volleyball. He felt great about his skill, and truly thought he was amazing...till Kageyama showed him the difference between talent and hardwork. Despite working his hardest, and doing his best...Oikawa just couldn't accept that there was someone better than him.

For each type, one of the three subtypes is considered the countertype. These types are most commonly misunderstood and mistyped because their enneagram's nature runs counter to their instinct. The enneagram's motivation is opposed to the following instincts:

Social 9 - very outgoing and energetic in contrast to the more subdued sp and sx 9. Generous, selfless, self sacrificing. Work hard and try to accomplish for the group. Still has a sense of inertia with own needs and wants. Can be workaholics but avoid showing stress and putting burden on others

Social 8 - express lust and aggression in service to others. Protective, loyal. Defend the weak and exploited. Outwardly calmer than sp and sx 8. Rebels against authority to protect the oppressed through power and control. Seeks solidarity. Still out of touch with own need for protection and care.

Social 7 - against instinct of gluttony, consciously avoid exploiting others. Assuage their guilty pleasure in gluttony with altruism, work for a better world in which there is no pain or conflict. Five-ish acetic ideal. Indulgent and generous character. Repressed guilt for unconscious mix up of altruism and self interest. A desire to reach an ideal purity based on social consensus (opposed to 1's internally generated sense of perfection)

Sexual 6 - turns against the passion of fear by taking a stance of strength and intimidation. Best defense is offense. Bold, fierce, assertive as opposed to the more doubtful and deferring sp and so 6. Use ideals of "strength and beauty" to defend against fear. Disconnected from feelings, tend not to acknowledge the intensity of their aggression/intimidation. Contrarian.

Sexual 5 - inhibited and introverted but less removed from emotions than sp and so 5. Avarice expressed through ongoing search for connection that will satisfy need for most perfect idealized union. Reserved and laconic on outside, more romantic and emotionally sensitive inside. Trust is still difficult so confidence is held as a romantic ideal in which one is safe to share secrets, taboo fantasies. Guarded in the face of emotional intensity but have desire for deep intimacy among trusted few.

Self-preservation 4 - stoic, dauntless suffering. Expresses less outward melancholy than so and sx 4. Swallow feelings of shame, envy, sensitivity, suffering. Withstands frustration. More masochistic than melodramatic. Works to get what others have instead of enviously dwelling on what they are missing. Attachment to enduring.

Self-preservation 3 - vanity for having no vanity. Wants to be successful but wants others to know that image isn't important. Self-sufficient, not forthcoming about accomplishments unlike so and sx 3. Developed focus on autonomy and security due to not having enough protection and resources. Need not only to be seen as the ideal model quality in what they do, but to be the ideal. Productive, secure, "in control" with underlying sense of anxiety.

Self-preservation 2 - childlike, youthful as opposed to the overly adult seductive qualities of sx 2 or the so "power 2". Unconscious assertion of childlike priority, being loved for simply being cute and lovable. Want to be seen without showing themselves. Tender and sweet but more guarded than other twos. Don't want to see themselves as dependent but unconsciously engineer situations for people to take care of them.

They’re not all called counter vanity, just the 3 one. In fact they’re frustratingly inconsistent with that “counter-passion” rule and it mostly seems like they just picked the one out of the three option of instinctual subtypes that’s least like the description.

Sx 1 is a countertype, but is more hyper-anger than counter-anger

Sp 2 is a countertype, and could be called counter-pride and it would make sense but it’s not called that.

Sp 3 is counter-vanity as previously mentioned.

Sp 4 is a countertype, but the way it’s counter doesn’t seem to be counter-envy as much as counter-whiny

Sx 5 is a countertype, again not counter avarice.

Sx 6 is the countertype, and it’s supposed to be counterphobic, but there are issues with the instinctual variants of 6 and counterphobic vs phobic

So 7 is a countertype, and they actually followed the 3 rule on this. This 7 looks like a classic 7, but is counter to the passion of 7, so this is counter-gluttony.

So 8 is a countertype, and like 2 you could kinda make the argument that it’s counter to its passion, but lust is still very noticeable.

(Back ground for anyone who doesn’t know the term counter-vanity in enneagram- the idea is that there’s a sin or passion that each type represents, and one instinctual subtypes goes against that passion. They still express it, but they recognize and try to suppress it. The passion of 3 is vanity and as a self pres 3, I would be the counter vanity 3)

It’s not that much different from vanity, just quieter. Literally everyone around me knows I think the world of myself, I just get a free pass for it because I don’t talk about it like other 3s.

Now while I maintain that this is a good long term strategy if you want people to legitimately respect you, self promotion is necessary as a 3 if you want to achieve that 3 goal, and I’m so much worse at self promotion than other 3s or even most extroverted non-3s.

How most 3s handle self promotion is they say an achievement they’ve done and they thank the other person when they say that’s impressive. How I do it is I don’t bring up my achievement and I vaguely lead towards a conversation in the hopes that the person will ask me specifically “have you won any awards in this field” which of course never happens.