#soyana

Vasya - beanpole literally made of pipecleaners, he has negative ass, but yknow what? that’s okay. he has a massive heart so he doesn’t need one. n/a bc i refuse to give my son a zero

Fila - a perfectly acceptable level of ass, won’t draw much attention but wholly appreciated by those who know the true power. 6/10

Rustem - all that horse-riding and hopak has really paid off, has an ass that makes other people jealous. 10/10

Gordan - surprisingly, a pretty decent ass! probably from all that swimming he do. 8/10

Ludwik - the best way i can describe his ass is “small, but perfectly formed”. 5/10

Soyana - the kind of ass that looks good in skinny-jeans, definitely turns heads. 7/10

Foxglove - NOTHING, ass privileges revoked for being a disgusting little man. -1500/10

Dresden - so much ass, well in proportion with the rest of him; man’s extremely thicc and we love that shit here!! 9/10

Seyana, Soyana, Sorena, Arena... Wakaru! Hahaha I don’t know if they are Vocaloids 

(◕‿◕✿)

- The poly relationship between Vasya, Dresden, and Soyana will now be called “BEAN TRIO”; you’ve got your string bean (Vasya), your broad bean (Dres), and the newly-named butter bean (Soyana, she makes her own butter and I was running out of ideas)

- Ragnvaldr hasn’t always presented as masculine during their 1100+ years of life, and there’s at least one painting out there of them (or rather their ‘humansona’) in a very nice 14th century dress. A painting that turned up in a museum. Their boyfriend Clive saw it and promptly bought a postcard copy from the gift shop, because “you look so beautiful :)”. That shit did something to Ragnvaldr’s heart I s2g...

- Gave my boy Vasya *~separation anxiety~*! Yes, now it’s a fact that, if he wakes up and finds the house is empty, he will simply Have Multiple Panic Attacks in a row. Being left notes and texted with updates for when everyone’ll be home helps, at least prevents him hardcore panicking, but he’s still an anxious and restless wreck until someone gets home.

- New dude? New dude! Sigurður Hallgrimsson, a Reykjavik firefighter/EMT, single father, Animal Crossing completionist, and consumer of fermented shark. He’s got two things he cares about: his daughter Katla, and his job. Hasn’t been on a proper night-out in like two years, even longer since his last date. Man’s starved for that sort of touch!

- Other new dude? Other new dude! Patrizio Martelli, an Italian boarding-school student who’s sick and tired of the whole bullshit, but things are starting to look up because the new kid is very cute, and Patrizio is very gay. Admittedly I don’t have a lot for him yet, but he also came with a spidersona which I’ll also be faffing with :)