what typa dog do we think he is

so we're talking a breed that is

highly intelligent

popular (but not obscenely so)

blue-eyed

photogenic

goofy af

okay hang on a second

Zach Woods: Dog Breed Edition 🦴

*when the Institute was first formed*

Night: If I say yes am I joining a cult?

Irratino: Possibly.

Night: I’m in.

~~~~

Azure: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth.

~~~~

Cloud: We all have our demons.

Azure, grabbing Onyx: This one’s mine!

~~~~

Raven: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Umber: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Raven: Not when you’re playing against Flint, it’s not. He uses words like “ephemeral” and I put “pig”.

~~~~

Azure: Whatcha got there...?

Cloud: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

~~~~

Irratino: Why would you give a knife to Seashell?!

Onyx, shrugging: Seashell felt unsafe.

Irratino: Now I feel unsafe!

Onyx: I’m sorry.

Onyx: Would you like a knife?

~~~~

Night: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

~~~~

Flint: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Umber: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Raven: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

~~~~

Cloud: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Raven: I’m worried about you.

~~~~

Irratino: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Umber: A stab wound.

~~~~

Cloud: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?

Flint: A pet WHAT?!

Azure: William Snakespeare.

~~~~

Irratino: I hate you sometimes.

Seashell: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

~~~~

Flint: I hate you with every inch of my body!

Night: That’s not a lot of inches.

~~~~

Seashell: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

Raven: Please never become a surgeon.

~~~~

Onyx: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Azure: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

~~~~

Irratino: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The squad: Awwww-

Irratino: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

Spock: Uh... thanks?

Kirk: Bet they'd look better wrapped around--

Janja: *mocking Jasiri* Miss me, miss me, now you gotta ki- *pauses*

Jasiri: Now, I gotta what? 😏

Janja: Nothing, forget it-

Jasiri: No no no, now I gotta what? 😏

Some hater: Listen to me, I don’t like you!

Shupavu: Do we give a fuck?

Njano: No, not one.

Shupavu: How many fucks do we give?

Njano: Zero.

Shupavu: Exactly. Therefore, your comment is

Both: ✨Irrelevant✨

Reirei: My husband is wearing a fucking suit to his autism diagnosis appointment

Goigoi: It’s a special event :D

Reirei: Shut up-

Janja: I don’t see any beautiful girls

Reirei: Just turn around~

Janja: Reirei please, only one of us can hallucinate at a time

Goigoi: Who’s the toughest animal you know?

Dogo: Mom.

Goigoi: …….Who’s the toughest male animal you know?

Dogo: You’re the toughest male animal I know!

Human AU

Nduli/Hodari: I made you a friendship bracelet!

Kiburi/Makuu: I’m not really a jewelry person

Nduli/Hodari: You don’t have to wear it

Kiburi/Makuu: No, I’m gonna wear it. Forever. Back off

Some female jackal: What’s your type?

Goigoi: I have a mate

Jackal: So what’s your type then?

Goigoi: …My mate

Jackal: What does she look like?

Goigoi: She looks like my mate

Jackal: So what would you rate me out of ten?

Goigoi: I can’t do that

Jackal: You can’t rate me at all?

Goigoi: Nope

Jackal: Then what would you rate your girlfriend out of ten?

Goigoi: She broke my scale cuz she’s so beautiful

Jasiri: You guys kidnapped Queen Dhahabu?! That's illegal!!!

Cheezi: But Jasiri, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Dhahabu or destroying the Outlands?

Jasiri: Kidnapping Queen Dhahabu, Cheezi!

Janja: Jasiri. Listen. Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them!

Jasiri: What? T-To kidnap animals?

Janja: To work together!

Jasiri: TO KIDNAP ANIMALS?!?

Chungu: Prime Minister Jasiri, we all agreed a celebrity is not an animal

Sumu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me

Sumu: Kenge, I’m begging you to go to a healer

Kenge: Sorry, is this OUR stab wound?! Stay out of it!

Sumu: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kenge’s been raging in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Kenge: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Sumu: I do have a sense of humor you know

Kenge: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Sumu: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Kenge: You kill animals for food?!

Sumu: I can explain!

Kenge: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

After he accidentally said ‘little’ in front of Kenge:

Janja: Top 30 reasons why we’re sorry…Number 5 will surprise you!

Kenge: Top 30 anime deaths. Number 1:YOUR FUCKING TAIL RIGHT NOW

Nduli: What’s the height of stupidity?

Kiburi: *turning to Tamka* How tall are you?

Janja, driving his crew: So how was your day?

Cheezi: We almost got surprise adopted!

Chungu: Yeah!

Janja: What?

Nne: We almost got kidnapped.

Janja: Oh, okay.

Janja: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Kiburi please come to the front desk?

Kiburi, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Tamka and Nduli

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Tamka and Nduli, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Kiburi: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Ushari: How's the lovliest animal here~?

Shupavu: I don't know, how are they~?

Ushari, flustered: I-

Njano, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Tamka: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Kiburi?

Kiburi: … No.

Nduli: I do!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Nduli: I’m sad!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Jasiri: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Shupavu: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Njano isn’t

Human AU

Tamka: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kiburi: You’re a hazard to society

Nduli: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Kiburi: Heh. Look at those guys using that cliff as a slide

Janja: *chuckles* What furbrains!

Kiburi: Idiots.

Janja and Kiburi: *realizes it’s Chungu, Cheezi, Tamka, and Nduli*

Janja: Wait a minute…

Marks and Rec: Misc #2401

Asher: Apparently, ending every conversation with my alpha with, "Yes, my liege," and a deep bow followed by respectful backwards shuffling while avoiding eye contact is considered sarcastic

•-•

Quinn: I've brought you here because I crave the deadliest game

Angel: *nodding sagely* Knife Monopoly

Quinn: Okay, I was going to hunt you for sport but now I'm really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.

•-•

Cole: I asked Marie to share her queen-sized blanket, to which she replied that she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity

•-•

Milo: Just found out that the grey cat I see all the time in our neighborhood is actually at least 4 separate identical cats. Went outside and they were all just vibin' together. I'm f*^&in losin it.

•-•

Huxley: Q is too high up in the alphabet. I respect it, but it has no place between P and R. Should be at the end with the weirdo goth letters.

•-•

Lasko: Skyrim is a bad game because I can't hug my friends or my spouse. Maybe I want to let the people in my life know I appreciate them dearly even if they just have three lines of base dialogue

Huxley:

Damien:

Gavin:

Freelancer:

Lasko: And before one of you says something like, "Oh why don't you just play Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing or some other game where you get to be nice to people?" please understand that I enjoy hunting the city guards for sport but that doesn't mean that I'm not full of love.

•-•

Angel: Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Davey: -_-

•-•

Sam: Remember what I told you, darlin'. The quickest way to a man's heart is...?

Darlin': Through the third and fourth rib!

Sam: no

•-•

Amanda: Would you punch David in the face for 10 dollars?

Asher: no

Milo: Absolutely not

Ardyn: No. He's my alpha

Christian: All right, yeah, sure, why not?

Angel, fed up with his attitude: I will pay you 10 dollars to let me punch David in the face

•-•

David: I assume you realize I won't tolerate this kind of idiocy

Milo and Asher: Is there another kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

•-•

Freelancer: Huxley, you're a genius!

Huxley: Yeah, I get called that a lot

Damien, disbelieving: What, a genius?

Huxley: No. Huxley.

•-•

David: We need to have a talk about your professionalism.

Asher, standing on a table: Those are some mighty brave words coming from a guy standing in lava.

•-•

Freelancer: We need to talk about—

Damien: The building was already on fire when I got there

Freelancer: What?

Damien: What?

•–•

Babe: It's beautiful out here

Sweetheart: And quiet

Babe: Too quiet

Sweetheart: Did we lose someone?

*cut to Asher and Milo trying to befriend a bear in their wolf forms*

•-•

Asher: David! What are you doing tomorrow?

David: Having my day ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do

•-•

Asher: We need to get help from adults!

Milo: We are—

Asher: Real adults!

Milo: Understood.

•-•

Freelancer, after messing up an assignment: I am the world's most horrible person. Ever.

Lasko: Don't say that.

Lasko: My mother will be offended.

•-•

David: Who drank all the milk?

Asher, at the kitchen counter, halfway through a second jug: I did!

David: You drank... a gallon and a half of milk? Why?

Asher: To prepare my bones for the skeleton war!

David: Why do I even expect normal answers anymore?

•-•

Lasko: Damien is choking I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn't working!

Gavin: Turn it upside down and use the 6!

Huxley: Genius!

Damien: *stops choking momentarily* Guys what the f—

•-•

Huxley: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Damien: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Lasko: Kody fell down the stairs.

•-•

Freelancer: *walks into class a bit late* Sorry I'm late, I was doin' stuff.

Kody, rushing in, noticeably disheveled: They pushed me down the f*&^ing stairs!

•-•

Avior: You're mad

Starlight, sticking their arm up to their elbow into the Meridian Void™: Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work

•-•

Lovely: I've been eating peanut M&Ms in hope that if a cannibal eats me and is allergic to peanuts I can get my revenge