#soundtextures

I decided to make a gospel song, or at least my little version of a highbrow version of one. It was inspired by Corinthians 12:10: “When I am weak, then I am strong.”  When I was a kid, I’d always get into trouble because I had issues, and as punishment for my little outbursts, I would get beaten… but I’d also have to rewrite the bible in English and Spanish. Anyways, to make a long, traumatic story short, Corinthians 12:10 has always hit me in the chest like an ancestral dagger.

This song is a cathartic victimhood battle cry; a space for me to suffer unapologetically, on a psychedelic, lush landscape. I know there’s always going to be someone out there worse off than me, but at this moment in time, I’m having the worst day of my life. I look back at my life and realize how awful it has been for me, whether it’s been my fault or not. I think strength shouldn’t be associated with victories because, for most of us, strength is found through our survival despite surrender. I want to be a victim without the stigma of surviving because at least I know I pushed through.

The productions lean heavily into Musique Concrete; It’s not about perfection, it’s about presence, it’s about being alive, embracing noise, while saturating the beauty. When I started making this song, I didn’t want to glorify conquering pain because it always leaves a stain on your painting and a clipping noise on your audio. Instead, I wanted to celebrate the act of standing 10 toes down in the eye of the storm and saying, “I’m not strong, I am weak.”  And letting the orchestra just rain on me. The song is aggressive, but soft and psychedelic, C#m1210.

Anyway, here's a picture I took of me last night

From a long list of definitions of soft according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, here are what I found useful to think in terms of sounds:

1. a: pleasing or agreeable to the senses : bringing ease, comfort, or quiet

    b: having a bland or mellow rather than a sharp or acid taste

    c (1): not bright or glaring 

       (2): having or producing little contrast or a relatively short range of tones

    d: quiet in pitch or volume

    f: smooth or delicate in texture, grain, or fiber 

    g (1): balmy, mild, or clement in weather or temperature

       (2): moving or falling with slight force or impact : not violent (i.e. soft breezes)

2: demanding little work or effort 

3a: sounding as in ace and gem respectively —used of can d g or their sound

b of a consonant : VOICED

c: constituting a vowel before which there is a \y\ sound or a \y\-like modification of a consonant or constituting a consonant in whose articulation there is a \y\-like modification or which is followed by a \y\ sound (as in Russian)

4 archaic : moving in a leisurely manner

5: rising gradually (i.e. a soft slope)

6: having curved or rounded outline : not harsh or jagged (i.e. soft hills against the horizon)

10a: yielding to physical pressure b: permitting someone or something to sink in —used of wet ground c(1): of a consistency that may be shaped or molded(2): capable of being spread d: easily magnetized and demagnetized e: lacking relatively or comparatively in hardness (i.e. soft iron)

12: having relatively low energy (i.e. soft X-rays)