#soulties

messy memories for our twenties will do

i think one of the most beautiful things about loving you is that you keep choosing me. out of everyone, out of all the paths in life you could have gone down, you chose ours, and you choose me, again and again, even on the days i feel unworthy.

i never understood what people meant when they talked about “home” until you. its not a place, its not walls or a city or something you can point to. its the way everything in me melts when im with you, like my heart finally has somewhere to rest. my soul feels tangled in yours, like soft blankets wrapped around each other, the seams of mine woven into your skin, my heartbeat pumping your name around my body, keeping me alive.

sometimes i think about it in a way that aches, even if everything changed, if we were strangers in another life, another universe, i would still find you. i would still feel that pull, that longing and knowing, my heart would recognise yours before i even understood why.

He could still feel the weight of you leaning against his chest, your fingers intertwined with Kacchan’s. You were the bridge between them—the soft gravity that kept Katsuki’s explosive temper from drifting into cruelty and Izuku’s nerves from shattering into pieces.

"Three more months," you had whispered, your thumb tracing the pulse point on Katsuki’s wrist. "Three months until we’re thirteen. Until the Lula marks show up."

Katsuki had grunted, though he didn’t pull away. He never pulled away from you. He’d leaned down, pressing a lingering, surprisingly soft kiss to your temple before turning to Izuku. "Doesn't matter if the marks show up or not. We already know. It’s always been the three of us."

Izuku had beamed, his heart so full he thought he might float away. That day, they had shared a clumsy, three-way kiss—a promise sealed in the heat of a middle-school summer.

Then, the world broke. Your family moved across the ocean. The marks appeared—identical swirling patterns on all three of your collarbones—but you weren't there to stabilize the connection.

The present was much colder. Izuku’s back hit the rough brick of the UA gymnasium wall with a dull thud. Before he could draw a breath, Katsuki’s hand was in his hair, pulling his head back. It wasn't a caress; it was a desperate, jagged movement.

Katsuki’s eyes were bloodshot, the pupils blown wide with the "Lula Fever." When soulmates are separated or the connection is imbalanced, the brain begins to fray. The physical need for contact becomes a biological imperative—a hunger that turns into a sickness.

"Kacchan, wait—"

Katsuki didn't wait. He crashed his lips against Izuku’s, the contact rough and punishing. There was no love in it, only the frantic scratching of a man trying to keep his sanity from slipping through his fingers. He gripped Izuku’s shoulder so hard it would surely bruise, his teeth clashing against Izuku’s in a way that tasted like copper.

Izuku closed his eyes, leaning into it because he had to, but his mind drifted back to that willow tree. Back then, a kiss felt like coming home. Now, with you gone and Katsuki’s heart twisted by pride and resentment, it felt like a transaction. Katsuki bullied him in the halls, told him he was nothing, and then dragged him into shadows to use him as a tether to reality.

Katsuki pulled away, panting, the manic light in his eyes fading just enough for the sneer to return. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking at Izuku with pure vitriol.

"Don't think this means anything, Deku," Katsuki spat, his voice trembling with the aftershocks of the fever. "You’re just a placeholder until I can get the real thing back. You're a damn glitch in the system."

Izuku slid down the wall as Katsuki stormed off. He touched his collarbone, where the Lula mark hummed with a low, mournful ache. Where are you? he wondered. Please, come back before he breaks me entirely.

The atmosphere in Class 1-A was uncharacteristically heavy. The USJ attack had left everyone on edge, the realization of their own mortality weighing on their teenage shoulders. Aizawa slunk into the room, his yellow sleeping bag dragging behind him like a molted skin. "Settle down," he rasped. "The school board decided that after the recent security breach, we needed to bolster the Hero Course. We have a transfer student. She’s been studying abroad under a specialized program."

Katsuki, who had been leaning back with his feet on the desk, froze. His nose flared. The air in the room suddenly smelled different—a scent he hadn’t truly caught in years.

"Come in," Aizawa muttered.

The door slid open, and the world seemed to tilt on its axis. You walked in, wearing the UA blazer with a quiet confidence that hadn't been there years ago. Your eyes swept the room, landing first on Izuku—who looked like he had seen a ghost—and then on Katsuki.

The silence was deafening. Kaminari leaned over to Kirishima, whispering, "Whoa, she’s gorgeous. Look at the marks on her neck... they're glowing."

They were glowing because you were within twenty feet of your soulmates for the first time in years. The Lula marks on Izuku and Katsuki began to pulse with a rhythmic, golden light, visible even through their shirts.

"I'm (Y/N) (L/N)," you said, your voice steady but underscored with an edge of steel. "It’s been a long time."

Izuku stood up so fast his chair flipped over. "(Y/N)!"

Katsuki stood more slowly, his explosions sparking involuntarily at his palms. "(Y/N)..." he breathed, the fever that had been clouding his mind for years suddenly lifting, replaced by a sharp, clear desperation. He stepped forward, his hand reaching out. He needed to touch you. He needed the sanity only you could provide.

You didn't move toward him. Instead, you stepped sideways, bypassing Katsuki entirely to pull Izuku into a crushing hug. "I missed you, Izu," you whispered loudly enough for the whole class to hear. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, and the glow between the two of you stabilized into a warm, constant hum.

Katsuki’s hand hovered in empty air. "Hey," he growled, his voice cracking. "What about me?"

You turned your head, looking at Katsuki with a coldness that felt like a physical blow. You had heard. You had seen the videos of the Sports Festival. You had talked to Izuku’s mother. You knew what Katsuki had become in your absence.

"I don't touch bullies, Katsuki," you said, your voice dropping an octave. "Until you remember how to be a human being, consider our bond severed. I’m staying with Izuku. You? You’re on your own."

Later that evening, the dorms were quiet. You were in Izuku’s room, the space filled with All Might posters and the comforting scent of home. You were sitting on his bed, your back against the wall, while Izuku leaned into your side. His mark was humming happily, but his face was clouded with a deep, gnawing worry.

Through the floorboards, you could almost feel the vibrations of the common room. But more than that, you could feel the jagged, agonizing pulses coming through the bond. Katsuki was downstairs, and he was suffering.

Izuku turned his head, his green eyes searching yours. He leaned in, catching your lips in a slow, deep kiss. It was everything Katsuki’s kisses weren't—gentle, sure, and filled with a decade of longing. But as Izuku pulled back, his hand stayed on your cheek, his thumb tracing your lower lip.

"(Y/N)... he's hurting," Izuku whispered. "I can feel it. It’s like his mind is on fire."

"I know," you said softly, looking away. "But he has to learn, Izu. He can't just treat you like a placeholder and then expect me to fix him."

Izuku sighed, his forehead dropping onto your shoulder. "I know he was awful. I know. But the Fever... it’s going to break him before he ever gets the chance to be better. He needs you. Please. Just... let him in? Make out with him? If we both hold him, maybe he’ll finally understand."

You looked at the boy you loved, the one who had every reason to hate Katsuki, yet was begging for his tormentor's salvation. You felt a pang of guilt, but the memory of the way he looked at Izuku with hatred in the gym yesterday, they way izuku slightly trembled when he yelled at Kaminari, instantly all that guilt was washed away.

"No, Izuku," you said firmly, your voice steady even though your own mark was beginning to throb in sympathy. "I’m not doing that. Not yet. He needs to realize that a bond isn't something you can just demand when you're hungry. He needs to apologize to you, not just beg me for a cure. I’m staying right here."

Izuku looked down at his lap, his shoulders slumped. He didn't push further, but the mournful pulse of his mark told you exactly how much it hurt to feel his other half rotting away in the dark downstairs.

The following weeks were a slow-motion car crash. You were inseparable from Izuku. You sat with him at lunch, you trained with him, and every night, you made sure he was "fed"—soulmate contact that kept his spirits high and his Quirk under control.

Katsuki was falling apart. Without you to balance him, and with you actively ignoring him, the Lula Fever hit him ten times harder. He became a ghost. He stopped eating. His grades slipped. He sat in the back of the class, staring at the back of your head with eyes that were sunken and dark.

"Kaminari, don't," Kirishima warned as the blonde boy started to head toward Bakugo. "He’s in a Fever state. He’ll blow the wing off the building if you touch him."

Katsuki’s skin was pale, his tremors visible. He watched as you laughed at something Uraraka said, your hand resting comfortably on Izuku’s shoulder. Every time you touched Izuku, Katsuki felt a phantom limb pain—the Lula mark on his chest burning like a brand.

He tried to corner you once in the hallway.

"(Y/N)... please," he choked out, leaning against the lockers for support. "I can't... I can't breathe. Just a hand. Just let me touch your hand."

You looked at him, and for a second, the old love flickered in your eyes. But then you remembered the bruises on Izuku’s arms and the way he flinched when someone raised their hand too quickly.

"Is that how Izuku felt?" you asked quietly. "When you told him to take a swan dive off the roof? Did you care if he could breathe then?"

Katsuki flinched as if you’d struck him. You walked away, leaving him trembling in the hall.

It finally happened after the combat training. The tension had reached its boiling point. Ground Beta was silent, save for the sound of heavy breathing. Katsuki had challenged Izuku to a fight—not a mock battle, but a desperate, raw confrontation. You stood on the sidelines, watching with your arms crossed, your heart aching but your resolve firm.

Katsuki swung, his explosions weak and smoky. Izuku parried, his movements fluid and confident because he was whole, while Katsuki was fractured.

"Why won't you fight back?!" Katsuki screamed, tears finally breaking through his mask. He fell to his knees, the Fever finally winning. His mind was a kaleidoscope of static and pain. "I hate you! I hate that you're always behind me! I hate that she looks at you like you're the only thing that matters!"

Izuku stopped, his green eyes softening. "Kacchan..."

"I did it because I didn't know what else to do!" Katsuki sobbed, his forehead hitting the concrete. "You were nothing, and then you were everything! And she was gone! I felt like I was drowning every single day, and the only way I felt powerful was by making you feel as small as I felt!"

He looked up at you, his face a mess of salt and soot. "I destroyed the only thing that kept me sane because I was scared! I’m sorry! (Y/N), I’m so sorry! Just... please... make it stop."

The silence that followed was heavy. The Lula bond isn't just about physical touch; it's about the soul. And for the first time in years, Katsuki’s soul was open.

You walked forward slowly. Izuku stepped aside, nodding to you. You sank to your knees in front of Katsuki. He looked at you like a man dying of thirst looking at an oasis. You didn't say a word. You simply reached out and cupped his face.

The moment your skin met his, a literal shockwave of golden light erupted from the contact. Katsuki let out a sound—half-sob, half-gasp—as the static in his brain cleared instantly. He lunged forward, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around you with a strength that spoke of years of starvation.

You felt his hot tears against your skin. "Don't ever do it again," you whispered, your own tears falling. "Don't ever hurt him again."

"Never," Katsuki choked out. "I promise. Just don't leave. Don't leave me in the dark again."

Izuku sat down on the ground next to you both, leaning his head against your shoulder. Katsuki reached out a trembling hand, grabbing the back of Izuku’s shirt, pulling him into the circle. The three-way bond clicked back into place—not the perfect, innocent version from the park, but something new. Something scarred, complicated, and desperately resilient.

Ive never felt this way before for somebody. Everything’s spinning and my ears are ringing, I feel intoxicated when i’ve never drank before. I just want to kiss you. In an "admiration, adoring, and appreciation of who you are to me" way. It feels like I want to kiss you because of how much I appreciate our friendship, but I know deep down it’s not just that.. Your familiar face jolts me back to reality. And sometime takes me back to freshman year of HS. Your voice could drag me out of bed.   I am weak for you. just eat me. I turn into a clumsy, jittery, smiley version of myself. Im like a child with their eyes wide open with excitement. I want to take in everything that u are. Everything you do, say, laugh about. Breathe into me.  I don’t even think about sex. I just think of your eyes. Sexy eyes. & your hand on my back. Leave them there longer.

Far be it for me to argue with Gwyneth but she needs to look up the distinction between twinsouls/twinflames, soulmates/soulgroups and Karmic bonds. There are also soul ties also called esoteric tie or bonds. None of them are specifically meant for love and some people can't tell if they are in a soul bonded or karmic relationship.

That is where you get a condition called the "dark night of soul". It's not the only time you can have an unharmonious union or friendship with a soul bond. Sometimes both people are aware they are supposed to be in a relationship but one for some reason can't or has personal issues to work through before they can be in a successful relationship. Sometimes soulmates/soulgroups(i.e. friends) fight. Karmic bonds are the worse because there is a lesson to be learned. Like the woman who dates the same man(personality) in different bodies over and over again until she meets someone who has the Karmic bond and the ability to help her grow out of the pattern that allows her to correct the mistake she is making. She can then move forward with her life and find the path she should be on.

Soul ties and esoteric ties can also exist but in general these are the ties we place ourselves. The parent-child bond. Friends we make. People we work with, meet at school, and at play. These are simply the ties that bind us together. They show the path our live takes and can help us feel better. This happens when we gather with friends and family during times of darkness and despair.

There is also a down side to all of these type of ties because nature must have a balance. Not all these bonds are good. There are people that some would call psychic vampires. Generously, some of these people have no idea that they are doing this. Some do. These are the people that you feel happy and great when you are around them, but when they leave, you feel physically drained. They have enormous Charisma. They can command a stage. People gather around them at parties. If you think about it, you know someone like this. Everyone knows at least one.

There are reverse/"bad" versions of twinsouls/twinflames. Some call these false twinflames/twinsoul. A false twinflames/twinsoul is generally someone that you perceive to be your twinflames/twinsoul but is not. The reason the person becomes obsessed with this false twinflames/twinsoul is they are mistaking another type of bond, the karmic bond, or less often a soulmate bond for a twinflame/twinsoul bond. It is also possible this person is a esoteric drainer/psychic vampire. People who do have twinsoul/twinflame bonds emit massive amounts of psychic energy. This can present a temptation to someone who drains that type of energy.

One of Gwyneth's comments sticks with me. "You know pretty early when it’s the right person.” She is close but not right here. With a twinflame/twinsoul bond, it's instantaneous. You just know. People who get married within in one year. You know sometimes, when a friend is in a new relationship you ask them, "Is it love? Are they the One?" Someone in a Twinsoul/Twinflame bond will not even hesitate to say "Yes".

If they hesitate, it isn't a twinflame/twinsoul bond.

The Chaser/Runner- Sometimes in a twinflame/twinsoul bond you have a situation called the chaser and the runner. This happens when one of the two souls has a karmic soul bond that hasn't formed yet and is needed before they meet their twinflame/twinsoul to be the best they can be.

The purpose of the relationship is also important to mention. Twinsouls/twinflames are put together for the purpose of helping the world. There is a difference between twinflames and twinsouls. Both bonds are meant to generally be helpful. Twinsouls help within their community. You will find them helping at soup kitchens, volunteering at hospitals, nursing homes, churches, etc. Twinflames have the greater purpose of putting the world on a path that is the least destructive and the leading people to be their highest self. You find Twinsouls in poistions of fame and power doing great works. They start charities, help clean the environment, start protest movements all while being leaders to the people. To speak simply, twinsouls work locally, twinflames work globally. Not all people doing this work are twinflame/twinsouls but all twinflame/twinsouls will do this work.

It is also important to note that even though these relationships are destined, that does not mean they will not fight or stay together. A good example of this is Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. They were meant to be but kept fighting the bond. You can fight against these kind of bonds if you want to. It is painful and take a lot of effort but it can be done.

It is very easy to mistake a false twinflames/twinsoul with a chaser/runner. An important thing to note about any type of soul bonds.

IT CAN NEVER BE FORCED, CAJOLED OR ARTIFICIALLY INDUCED. IT IS NATURAL AS BREATHING. IF IT ISN'T, THAN IT ISN'T A SOUL BOND.