#sorry rant

Modern Sherlock Holmes adaptations would rather have a poorly written borderline creepy relationship between Holmes and Irene Adler than just write a queer character

being the only person in my family to not blindly be maga mormon, to constantly strive to work through every bigoted bias that was brainwashed into me since I was a kid, to actually look into church history and fundamentally disagree with its values on so many levels, (how God was apparently racist until 1978 when black men could suddenly have the priesthood, and how women are solely meant to be wives and mothers and it's a commandment to have as many children as they can, how "same-sex attraction" is comparable to murder, etc... and thats not even the half of it) but like. still constantly and consistently feeling like the reason I'm not happy is because I'm Doing Something Wrong and I'm a sinner who needs to repent. why would I ask a God who claims he loves all but doesn't show love to all, to love me. why do I still want him to love me. why do I wanna scream and cry about how it's unfair that every fucking week I'm forced back into that building and every week I hear people claiming how God brings them peace and love and I've never felt a single fucking scrap of it. what did I do wrong? why does it still feel like my fault? I shouldn't care. I don't even believe in it.

I love barbara howard so much it makes me physically ill when someone just outright hates her. Shes one of the best examples of “not perfect, but not evil” characters. Shes a mother wanting whats best for her family but going about it in such a devastating way and she knows its bad. I dont want to seem high and mighty but as someone who loves to just take the time to nitpick characters i enjoy, it irks me when someone just hates her because “shes evil” or “she dropped the bomb” are we rlly having that convo still… if barbara howard has no fans that means im dead. I love me some morally grey characters. Also— how can you hate barbara for being ‘bad’ but root for coop?? Whos the quintessential morally grey character whos ‘bad but doing it for what he thinks is good, and knows its bad’. Thats barbara!!! They r the same character flipped!! They will do anything to make sure their family is safe!! Nobody is ‘good’ in this franchise. Your favourites are flawed and thats what makes fallout fallout.

I realized that i have accomplished nothing 20 years and ive done nothing, fallen short in fucking everything just langishing in priviliged incompetence

i kinda hate how some of these obx twitter accounts have this weird superiority complex over the actors cause they met them or have talked to them. like girl i’ve hooked up with multiple celebs but im not acting like im better than anybody.