#soquitasking

game days are back in tuscaloosa & better than ever‼️🏈🤩 #roadto18 #tideontop #soquitasking #rtota #alexaplaydixielanddelight (at The Church of Nick Saban) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bne9pXbHlTq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qat12uqm97jy

Nothing is really important anymore. Feeling important would seem selfish to me. All the great feats of life are just a joke. Getting married, having kids, buying a house. Congratulations, you're one of the billion others. People experience life in the manner of complex paradigms, oft not shifting out of normality. But I barter for something greater, something more fulfilling. Feeling important about myself or my brief success is ridiculous. All in all, we can all get angry about the same things, sad about the same things and enjoy the same things. But in our book we are our own hero; or at least they say. You just experience life as a selfish individual, reaping your surroundings to build what you think is success. Slaving away, day by day to pay for your mortgage. For some reason that feels like an immature way to live life. I'm just fed up over losing my mind over such short and insignificant problems. Sometimes I feel like people really just don't give a flying fuck about me, and it's all sort of some joke. I'm trapped here, and have been for many years. I'd kill for a different life, I feel like mine is an insignificant waste. Every day passes is a day the crowd waits for me to do myself in. Every day the weight grows on my shoulders, now I'm on my hands and knees, dragging myself. The crowd scoffs and giggles at me; deemed weak. I feel like I have almost too much to offer. If I were a puzzle piece I would be jaded with hundreds of different complexities which could never fit anywhere in the grand picture of life. This is not my home, and each day it's becoming more and more apparent. Nothing is satisfying anymore, I feel so unwound from social conventions. I don't even look at my parents as parents anymore, and I scoff at people's idea of importance. People that have such high goals and speak highly of themselves make me laugh, verbally. I laugh at people that don't know life, and how it's going to fuck you over. You really can't trust anyone, not with your heart at least. Since everyone else other than me is just in life to gain their own success, and I stand with my arms open, I can't communicate with others as well anymore. I feel awkward all the time, around everybody. Even people whom I was seemingly close with, I monitor every move I make. Goal: not to rouse attention. I'm tired of the lungs I breathe with, my body feels old and weak. Every step I make I feel the acid of depression rotting away at my limbs. Breaking apart piece by piece. As they sit, and giggle.