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Spuffy

It’s perfect timing for me to write about Spuffy because I’ve just recently done a Buffy re-watch, so their relationship is fresh in my mind. When it comes to Buffy and Spike, I’m actually pretty neutral about their relationship. I’m not a hardcore shipper but I’m also not anti Spuffy either. It’s always a relief when there’s two opposing ships (in this case Spuffy and Bangel) and you’re able to enjoy both (although I do prefer Bangel).

Before I get into actually talking about the relationship itself, I want to say that I do think that Buffy and Spike’s relationship was quite forced. It’s clear to me that when Spike was first introduced onto the show there weren’t any plans to make him a main character and put him into a relationship with Buffy. Generally speaking, it doesn’t even make sense that Spike survives until season 7 since Buffy has absolutely no reason to keep him around. He’s a vampire without a soul and Buffy is the Slayer, she kills Spike’s kind every single day without blinking. The only exception to that is Angel because he has a soul, so it doesn’t make sense that Buffy just allows Spike to hang around Sunnydale. It becomes more complicated when he has the chip because technically he can’t harm anyone and he starts to prove useful, but even then it’s hard to understand why Buffy doesn’t kill him. Spike getting his soul at the end of season 6 is also forced, because narratively it makes no sense. Angel is a unique, one-of-a-kind vampire who was cursed with a soul as punishment. No vampire (whether they are in love or not, which is a topic of debate because can soulless vampires even love?) would voluntarily seek out their soul. It’s a heavy burden to bear after centuries as a vampire and I don’t buy that Spike would want to do this. Also, Spike’s entire character is build on this idea of him being a one-of-a-kind soulless vampire that is capable of showing a lot of human emotion and whose behaviours and perceptions change as a result of the chip, so giving him a soul kind of detracts from that. Overall, I feel that Spike getting a soul was only written because Whedon decided he wanted to continue pursuing the Spuffy romance but realised after season 6 that he couldn’t logically do that until Spike had a soul. As a result, the Spuffy relationship doesn’t make sense from a narrative stand-point. Spike was an antagonist that should’ve left the show or been killed off at some point during season 3, but his character was so popular and well-liked that Whedon wanted to find a way to write him in permanently and developing a romance with Buffy was the most feasible way of doing that.

Putting that aside, in seasons 1-4 I enjoy Spuffy’s dynamic and the way they bicker at each other immensely. Buffy and Spike as individual characters have bags of personality and when they come together they’re always entertaining and they draw me in. In season 5 their relationship enters a new phase when Spike develops a crush on Buffy. The thing is with the Spuffy relationship in general is that you have to take it at face value. In my opinion, it is not a “serious” relationship and certainly not feasible as a long-term relationship, because of the nature of it. However, it’s a fascinating ship that explores the complexities of mental health and toxic relationships, and how the two can overlap and feed one another.

Spike’s feelings for Buffy develop out of a dark and twisted obsession whereby he gets off on the fact that Buffy’s his nemesis, that she’s strong and fierce and violent towards him. His obsession for her becomes so strong that he consistently stalks her (which is common amongst vampires, who are naturally predatory creatures) and forces Warren to build him a Buffybot. The Buffybot alone represents everything wrong with their relationship. Spike creates a sex doll that looks exactly like Buffy that will be his slave; that’s so unhealthy and is unacceptable on every level. However, it’s perfectly aligned with Spike’s behaviour and urges as a soulless vampire. I see all this stuff about how Spike with a soul still wasn’t that bad but I think it’s overlooked that he still had naturally dark tendencies and instincts as a vampire. He didn’t seek out Buffy because he wanted a loving, committed relationship with someone who was his equal, he sought her out because he enjoyed the “rough and tumble” and was fascinated with the apparent “darkness” and “death” he saw in Buffy and got a kick out of being the one to push her to that dark place. When their sexual relationship develops, it’s as unhealthy as Spike’s crush has been up until that point, because it evolves out of Buffy’s depression which Spike actively encourages. Instead of supporting Buffy through her depression, he feeds it by telling her she no longer belongs with her friends and that she belongs with him in the “shadows”. It’s a very toxic and unhealthy relationship for both Buffy and Spike. Although Spike doesn’t have a soul, it’s emotionally distressing for him to endure the treatment he gets from Buffy. She actively goes to him and sleeps with him but then discards him and tears him down and refuses to acknowledge him as a human being (which is fair since he’s technically not). It’s very harmful to Buffy who carries the immense guilt and shame of her feelings and how she’s behaving. Plus, as I mentioned above, it feeds her depression and self-destructive behaviour. But like I said, you have to take Spuffy at face value and I can’t criticise the ship for any of this. It’s actually what I like about them. They’re supposed to be dark and twisted, they’re supposed to be bad for each other, they’re supposed to push each other to the deepest darkest corners of what they’re capable of and that’s exactly what they do.

In reality, Spuffy’s relationship is a complex metaphor for the human psyche. Spike is symbolically the monster inside Buffy and when she uses and abuses him she’s punishing herself. Spike is Buffy’s way of self-destructing, of trying to emotionally make sense of the hollowness she feels inside. Spike allows it and revels in it because he’s a creature of darkness and death. What he experiences with Buffy is normal to him as a vampire. He loved Drusilla as truly as a soulless vampire can love, but it was a very dark and twisted love whereby they did terrible things with and to each other and got pleasure and enjoyment out of that. Spike tries to pursue a similar relationship with Buffy, but the problem is that it doesn’t work because Buffy is human. She’s not physically, emotionally or mentally capable of engaging in the type of relationship or behaviours Spike expects or enjoys without it having a profound negative impact on her.

It’s probably an unpopular opinion coming from a Bangel shipper, but I actually really like the way Spuffy are written up until season 7. Even the dreaded attempted rape scene from Seeing Red (which is still to this day one of the most controversial and debated scenes from any fandom I’m part of) makes sense in the context of the relationship. I respect Whedon for writing that in, because as hard as it was to film for SMG and James, and how horrific, upsetting and controversial it is, it feels like a natural culmination of their relationship and the path its on in season 6. It shows how wrong that relationship is and it’s a reminder that regardless of how different Spike may seem from other soulless vampires, he is still a vampire without a soul. Whether you love him or hate him, it’s a clear statement that he is a monster and that’s very important to establish and to remember. It also reinforces what we’re told and shown throughout the season, which is that Buffy cannot love him because he’s a monster. That one line she says, “Ask me again why I could never love you” is such an incredibly powerful one and despite the horror of the scene, it’s probably one of my favourites because of how much is conveyed with just one sentence.

Moving on from their relationship in season 6 (because I could discuss it all night), the fact that I like the way Spuffy are written in season 6 is why I don’t like the way they are written in season 7. Everything about the relationship in season 7 feels forced and inorganic. It isn’t a progression of their relationship from season 6, it’s like Whedon hit the reset button and tried to rewrite them as a fresh new ship without the weight of their history. The problem is, in doing that he fundamentally changes what Buffy and Spike are. Spike getting a soul could never change the fact that Buffy is incapable of loving him. Buffy has told Spike that he’s beneath her, she’s called him a thing, told him numerous times she cannot and will never love him and the nature of their relationship in season 6 only reaffirms those feelings she has. Buffy doesn’t have any positive feelings towards Spike in seasons 1-6, and getting a soul doesn’t magically fix or change that. From my perception, the person Spike fundamentally is isn’t someone that Buffy could love. Even if she’d met him as a human, she would never look twice at him. So Buffy’s characterisation has to be sacrificed in season 7 in order for her relationship with Spike to develop. The Buffy Summers I know and love would never pursue a romantic relationship with Spike soul or no soul and it doesn’t matter how much I appreciate their dynamic in seasons 1-6, I can’t get past that and as a result I can’t enjoy them in season 7 because it doesn’t fit with how I perceive those characters and their relationship.

This has got incredibly long, so I’ll wrap it up by saying that I enjoy and appreciate Spuffy in seasons 1-6, because I accept them for what they are. In season 6, it’s unhealthy, it’s destructive and it’s toxic, but it’s also a push and pull dynamic. I don’t perceive just Buffy OR Spike to be the victim in that relationship, they are both victims (excluding Seeing Red, where Buffy is obviously the only victim). It’s an important relationship in exploring Buffy’s mental state in season 6 and season 6 wouldn’t be what it is without Spike and Spuffy.

Bangel

I already shared my opinion on Bangel before, you can read it here.

Xanya

I really don’t have any opinions on this ship, I’m completely indifferent to them. They don’t stand out to me as being a particularly special ship in terms of their chemistry or story, but I also don’t dislike them. I personally still think that Xander was gay and that Whedon should’ve pursued that path with him because it would’ve made more sense, but he chose to write Willow as the gay character instead and god forbid we have more than one LGBT character from the main ensemble cast *gasp*

Cole/Phoebe

I really like Phoebe and Cole as a ship (you can read more of my opinions on them here and here) and think that over the years people have jumped on the bandwagon about how “toxic” and bad for each other they were, but they actually had a lot of positive qualities. Phoebe and Cole had great chemistry and passion, they were very well matched and their love endured so much. They were star-crossed lovers that were mortal enemies but that fell in love with each other and fought tooth and nail to make their relationship work. Their relationship is proof that the age old cliche of “love conquers all” is simply not true. Phoebe and Cole were deeply in love but their love wasn’t enough and no matter how many times they tried or how long and hard they clung onto each other, they couldn’t make it work. What I like about their relationship is that it carries an important message that we don’t always end up with the person who is the love of our life. There’s an expectation that most of us have that we will find the love of our life and be with them until the day we (or they) die, but in many instances that’s not the case. Phoebe and Cole are a testament to that and prove that even if the relationship doesn’t last, the love two people share is still important and will always stay with them. Piper/Leo

I’ve briefly discussed Piper and Leo before here, but I’ll go into more detail. Surprisingly, I’m not a very big Pleo shipper. I like them but I just don’t buy into them as the epic true love story that they’re sold to us as being. Generally, Leo as a character is rather one-dimensional and I think that Piper could’ve had a much better love interest. Leo is defined by his “goodness” as a Whiteligher and although his arc takes a darker twist in season 6, it rarely strays from that narrative. Over the years as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed the complete lack of development they have and when Piper has her big realisation that she’s in love with Leo in Love Hurts, it’s not very earned. Throughout season 1 Piper is attracted to Leo, they have a few interactions and sleep together, but he’s not really that significant in her life. Piper barely knows anything about him other than the fact that he’s a handyman and there’s not much of a basis there for her to fall in love with him. In season 2, when the whole love triangle comes into play with Leo and Dan, it makes even less sense because Dan actually makes much more sense as a love interest for Piper. He’s “normal” (Piper talks often about how she craves for normality in her life), he’s reliable, he’s present in her daily life, he’s sweet, considerate, romantic and attractive. All of the problems that Piper has in her relationship with Leo - him being magical and his prolonged absences - directly contrast Dan. Dan doesn’t pose any of those problems, so the question is why does Piper love Leo more than Dan?

I suppose this issue taps into a fundamental aspect of the Piper and Leo relationship that they’re destined and soul mates. When it comes to destiny and soul mates, it’s hard to then argue that a couple is underdeveloped, because their connection is routed in a cosmic bonding of souls which is difficult to quantify. And despite their lack of development in seasons 1 and 2, I do buy into them being soul mates as the seasons progress. The way in which they consistently find their way back to each other and overcome obstacles to be with each other solidifies them as being soul mates. I particularly like their relationship in seasons 4 and 5 when they’re at their strongest and most united.

However, as I mentioned in the post I’ve linked above, I have a lot of issues with the way they were ripped apart at the end of season 5 in Oh My Goddess. That whole plot felt incredibly forced to me and I would’ve much preferred that Piper and Leo were able to stay together for the remainder of the series without some ridiculous obstacle being thrown in their way just for the sake of it. By that point they’d already had to overcome Leo being a Whitelighter, the love triangle with Dan, getting the Elders to accept their romance and having a baby. It was hardly a smooth ride for them and to rip them apart when Wyatt was still so young was particularly cruel and unfair. Although they tried to get the relationship back on track and re-establish them, it never felt quite right to me after that. I love the love scene between them in The Courtship of Wyatt’s Father, but everything else about the way their relationship is written in season 6 is awful. Piper hiding her pregnancy from Leo is incredibly OOC for her and Leo being a neglectful father is also very OOC. I appreciate that in season 7 their relationship is quite representative of the rough patches that a lot of long-term relationships go through and that they’re basically “on the rocks”, but I still don’t like how they’re written. The whole season is basically Piper babysitting Leo and worrying about him non-stop, up until The Seven Year Witch, which I’ll admit is one of the most romantic episodes for Piper and Leo and finally gets their relationship back on track.

Overall, I like Piper and Leo together, but I don’t love them together. I think their love endured a lot and that ultimately they were soul mates, but I also think that their relationship didn’t really start to be anything particularly special until around season 3. Therefore, the writers could’ve ended her relationship with Leo in season 1 and I wouldn’t have been shocked and thought, “But hold on, Leo was the love of Piper’s life he needs to come back”, because I just don’t think they had the development at that stage for him to be considered so important (despite what the writing tells us very early on). The sisters could’ve got a new Whitelighter from season 2 onwards (which would’ve been a good opportunity to bring fresh blood onto the show) and Piper could’ve had another long-term love interest whether it be Dan or someone entirely new, and I could’ve bought that as much as I buy into Piper and Leo.

Prue/Andy I’ve spoken about Prue and Andy before here and I don’t really have much more to add. I think they’ve a very underrated ship that had a lot of potential. They were incredibly well matched and I believe that Paige and Henry’s relationship in season 8 provides insight into the kind of relationship Prue and Andy could’ve had if they had both survived. Suliet

I’ve shared my feelings about Suliet already here. I don’t have much more to add than what I’ve already said in my previous post, except I absolutely adore Sawyer and Juliet as a ship. It’s a rare thing to be able to convey so much depth and emotion in such a short time-span, but the LOST writers pulled it off perfectly. Their relationship is the perfect culmination of their character development and two unlikely people coming together results in the most beautiful relationship. It’s sad that we don’t get more flashbacks of their time in Dharmaville and the earlier days of their relationship, but nonetheless, what we are given was beautiful. Their reunion scene in the Flash Sideways is still one of my all time favourite LOST scenes. The emotion and connection in that scene captures everything that they are and confirms that they’re soul mates, which is particularly poetic since Juliet walks way from him in season 5 because she thinks they’re not meant to be together. How wrong was she? #soulmates #meanttobe Skate

I’ve spoken quite in-depth about Skate previously, here and here. I appreciate and enjoy their dynamic, but from my perspective the romantic aspect of it was always very one-sided. They made more sense to me as friends and I understood them as friends. I think they were just too similar to work in a relationship and like I said with Spuffy above, I always felt that there was something deeply ingrained in Kate that prevented her from ever being able to love Sawyer in a romantic sense. She definitely loved him and at certain points she had romantic feelings for him, but it was never strong enough; it was never secure or absolute. That’s the reason they never worked as a couple because even when she tried to be with him, she was never fully there. But that’s because she was always in love with Jack, which brings me nicely onto the next ship.Jate

My recent LOST re-watch reminded me how much I actually like Jack and Kate as a pairing. I’ve always shipped them but I’ve never been particularly hardcore for them (my favourite LOST ship has always been Suliet or Demond and Penny), but I really noticed on my re-watch how much they loved each other. What’s great about it though is that it’s not a very in-your-face relationship. If you’ve only watched the show once or haven’t watched it in a while it’s easy to build up this perception in your head that it’s very Jack-Kate centric, but it’s not really. It is very Jack-Kate centric in regards to the attention their individual characters get and the amount of scenes they have together, but the actual romantic aspect of their relationship doesn’t get much focus. It’s obvious that they’re in love, but it’s just built into the natural dynamic they have with each other. Primarily when they’re on the island they’re friends and partners who are each other’s constant source of support. They’re fiercely loyal to each other and that aspect of their relationship is easy to overlook, but every single time one of them makes a decision the other is there backing them up, even if they might not always necessarily think it’s the right decision. They’re always a team and they work together and trust each other implicitly. With any ship there’s the whole “I’ll do anything for you” mantra that we all feel when we’re in love, but with Jack and Kate you see that all the time. They will literally do anything for each other. No matter what life or death situation they’re in, they will always go back for each other if one of them is left behind (this is why I have slight issues with the last season, because Kate leaving Jack behind to die is very OOC and generally the two of them being separated for most of their time on the island doesn’t make sense). Despite how manipulative Kate can be, they’re equals and I think what initially draws them to each other is the strength they see in each other. From the second they meet on the island they see each other’s determination and sheer will in getting off the island and protecting everybody. Kate spends her life on the run, hiding who she is from the world, but with Jack he just sees her and her spirit. Even when he finds out about her crimes, he never really needs her to explain because he accepts her for who she is and trusts that what he sees of her is exactly who she truly is. It’s such a well-crafted slow burn relationship that is established from the pilot and is consistently built upon until the final episode. Everything that happens between them feels earned because of that time and attention that’s given to establishing them. From the second they walk into each other’s lives they bond and that bond is unbreakable. It just makes me sad, that just like with Suliet, we didn’t get enough scenes of them being a normal, happy couple. But the scenes we do get are well selected and perfectly encapsulate everything they’re about as a couple.  

Jacket

Can I just say first of all, that this ship name is quite comical? All I picture is a denim jacket when I see this haha. It’s good that I get to speak about Jack and Juliet actually, because my re-watch made me see them in a different light. In the past I was always “eh” about Jack and Juliet. I never really understood why it was written for it to then just be erased before it even had chance to develop. However, my eyes have been opened to the immense potential this ship had. The thing is with the Jack-Kate-Sawyer-Juliet love square, is the writers really could’ve chosen to go in any direction with the pairings and it would’ve worked - we got Jack/Kate and Sawyer/Juliet and that worked, we could’ve had Kate/Sawyer and Jack/Juliet and that would’ve worked and we even could’ve had Jack/Sawyer and Kate/Juliet, god knows the chemistry and tension was there to make it work!

Jack and Juliet are generally overlooked and forgotten as a pairing because of how fast they were brushed off, but they had great development. In a way, Jack and Juliet’s relationship starts off as a kind of Stockholm Syndrome; Jack is a prisoner and Juliet is the captor. Juliet knows everything about Jack and purposefully uses clever emotional manipulation to get the desired outcome from him. Jack knows this, he knows that she’s playing him and that she’s acting on behalf of Ben who is dictating to her what to do, yet he develops a complex emotional bond with her because of the kindness she shows him and the fact that she’s the only human companionship he gets. When you’re locked up in a cell with no human contact and nothing to do, all you have to look forward to is the person who’s visiting you everyday to bring food. Jack falls into a routine with Juliet where he goes and sits against the wall when she enters and he brings her sandwiches with toothpicks (notice how this becomes a sort of weird connection between them which they both make reference to later on as they become friends). Jack is naturally a very good judge of character; he’s able to read people and situations very well and from the get go his instincts tell him that Juliet is a good person. Very early on he’s able to distinguish between her and the rest of the Others, even before he builds up complete trust in her, he still senses that she’s the most reliable and that she may actually help him escape.

But it’s not just Jack that builds a bond with Juliet. Juliet also builds one with Jack. We know from flashbacks that Juliet has had a rather lonely existence on the island. She’s been separated from her sister, the most profound connection she has in her life, and the one bond she establishes on the island - with Goodwin - is taken away from her by Ben. Ben’s obsession with Juliet leads him to purposefully isolate her and as a result she’s very lonely. When she meets Jack she is sent in by Ben to manipulate him, but she looks at Jack and sees herself - a prisoner. Juliet may not physically be in a cell, but it doesn’t mean she’s any less of a prisoner. From the beginning she sees Jack as a ray of hope, a comrade and someone that she could possibly escape with and find a new life with.

Much like Jack and Kate, Jack and Juliet’s bond is instant, but slowly develops over time due to the complicated circumstances they find themselves under. Juliet does what she can to protect Jack and likewise Jack does what he can to protect Juliet. They develop an implicit understanding and trust that leads them to depend on one another. And when they realise that their main goal is the same - to escape Ben - they also become allies. It’s actually a fascinating way for a relationship to develop and based on other shows I’ve seen it’s unique too.

Putting aside the circumstances of how they meet and how their relationship develops, as people Jack and Juliet are very suited. They’re both healers and spend their lives saving lives (or giving life in Juliet’s case), they’re both medical marvels who accomplish seemingly impossible tasks (Jack performing miraculous spine surgery and Juliet making infertile women pregnant) they’re loyal, intelligent and determined. And when they come together there’s an ease and familiarity between them whereby it seems like they’ve known each other for a long time. I also didn’t really notice before, but they also have pretty great chemistry (you can particularly see it in the following scenes (x) (x) (x) go to 2:45 on the last one).