#some days

a visual timeline

|| the school dances - 5/29/1982 & 12/3/1983

joel (14/15) tommy (13/14) reader (13/14) - ch. 17/30

inspired by wednesday’s wip!! also see chapter 17’s flashback

“you tried to make everyone happy, is everyone happy?”

I couldn’t find a song for this exact vibe so i’m just recommending a fav of mine!! (very readerxjoel core imo!!)

song rec: some days by mree

•••

I swear, some days I could scream; I feel so invisible.

Some days I wake up so damn light I think I might drift away, like one of those balloons freed by a child’s hand.

Some days I awake and hate everything I’ve ever made.

Some days I wake and see the good in every stranger and friend I’ve ever met (the scoundrels too).

Some days I wake up and realize I never was asleep—I was simply being held inside an old memory, its kind hands running through my hair, its nectar voice whispering in my ear all the many comforts and falsehoods that keep me coming back.

Some days I wake and feel like a machine. I hear the voices that turn my gears, see the habits that have carved grooves deep into my pale blue hide of steel.

So many questions, and on top of it all, I’m always so damn tired.Even now, my eyelids might weigh a ton. Did I get bit by a tick again? Am I growing more? (Can’t be).

today i felt pretty.

this is the first time i felt a little good about myself after a few weeks of turning off my notifications and not interacting with anyone that do not involve work.

i have been disappearing—quite a lot, tbh. i have been trying to erase my existence from everyone's calendar. and maybe memories. i have felt the kind of tiredness that sleep won't fix once again. it sounds cliché, true. but that seems to be the perfect description of my emotions lately.