#somatic therapy

that’s the part of your life where you crave a deep, unshakable kind of peace. it’s where you want things to feel real, tangible, and steady. it’s your own private garden where you’re meant to feel completely settled and at home in your own skin.

often, we spend so much energy trying to build the perfect foundation that we forget to actually rest on it. i wanted to create a way for you to finally feel the weight of your own existence in the best way possible, so i made a somatic guide called the dream tunnel.

think of it as a slow, nourishing walk into the earth. when you step inside, the noise of the outside world starts to fade. the air turns cool and carries the scent of wet stone and crushed herbs. as you move through it, you’ll reach a point where the tunnel splits into three separate paths, and you get to decide which one feels right for you.

if you follow the scent of pine wood, a gentle warmth starts to radiate from the walls. if you choose the path of deep moss, the air becomes humid and soft, like a protective layer for your heart. or you might go toward the stone, where the temperature drops and your mind finds a heavy, beautiful focus. the tunnel actually responds to the kind of safety you’re looking for.

along the way, the guide asks you questions that help you land back in your body. you’ll walk through a garden of stones and a gallery of statues that all share your face. you’ll see yourself in marble, clay, and wood, and you’ll get to decide which versions of yourself you’re ready to let soften. you’ll write about what it feels like to finally have enough and what happens to your physical tension when you allow yourself to be unfinished.

this isn't a race to a finish line. it’s a journey that helps you inhabit your own skin with total ease. by the time you reach the final door, you’re bringing the stillness of the earth back into your real, daily life. you’ll realize that your value isn’t something you have to guard or earn, it’s tied to your presence, right here and now.

the door is open whenever you’re ready to turn the handle.

the workbook is here

Grounding exercises should not be an activity in large group settings, especially unsolicited and without warning, especially if you’re not aware of every single person in the space’s mental health conditions, physical health conditions, and personal relationship to their body.

Practices such as mindfulness, grounding, somatic exercises, breathing techniques, body scans, etc. are very helpful therapeutic tools to help manage stress. They can (and do!) help plenty of people– when taught safely and used effectively!

HOWEVER for people with conditions that cause psychosis and/or dissociative conditions such as depersonalization/derealization, these techniques are contraindicated and can make their symptoms significantly worse. They should only be used with guidance from their mental health team and adapted to their needs. For people with conditions like anxiety and PTSD, being aware of breathing can trigger a trauma response or anxiety attacks.

And for people with conditions that cause chronic pain or other uncomfortable bodily sensations, becoming re-centered with their bodies can cause more awareness of the pain they are in, which a level of (ideally functional) dissociation is actually helpful. For people in wheelchairs and powerchairs, touching the ground beneath their feet isn’t always an option. For people with cardiac and pulmonary conditions, deep breathing can be impossible or can trigger asthma attacks. For disabled people in general, doing body scans can be impossible due to paralysis or limb differences. They can bring awareness to things the person wasn’t aware were wrong to begin with (which is helpful in certain spaces, but not a great ice breaker at a retreat!)

And for trans people, binders and other garments can restrict breathing, and taking repeated deep breaths while binding can cause rib damage (which is why you shouldn't bind at night, while coughing from sickness, while exercising, etc). Becoming centered in a body that makes you dysphoric can be deeply distressing, again, a level of functional dissociation helps.

This also goes for plenty of other people in marginalized bodies, such as people of color, people who use substances, queer people, and more. Becoming grounded in your own marginalized body can be a heavy weight to carry, and needs appropriate and individualized care to be a beneficial experience.

As an alternative, I suggest doing a round of gratitudes instead, it allows for people to choose their level of vulnerability in spaces, while not being generally contraindicated for many people. Doing fun (and appropriate to the setting) icebreakers are great. Ask what brings someone to the space. Check-ins about basic needs such as if people need to use the restroom, eat, drink water, are rested, etc. can be more appropriate body check-ins for folks to do.

I don’t recommend doing these exercises even with a warning beforehand. If I'm in the room while someone is leading a breathing exercise, even if I try to ignore it, I (and most people) would automatically become aware of my breathing. The same goes for any other techniques. These techniques can cause real, life-threatening levels of harm for some people, and can even just be deeply uncomfortable or distressing for others. Dissociation is not inherently evil or bad or harmful. It is the way the body and mind naturally respond to adverse experiences (note: it can also cause distress and at higher levels, can be disordered) it is best to allow people to exist as they are in communal spaces. Let people show up as they are.

Most spaces are not equipped or appropriate to respond to emergencies, difficult feelings, and all the varied responses that can come from folks doing mindfulness in group settings.

I personally do some things before large gatherings and events to feel centered on the activity I’ll be doing, and afterward, I decompress. Encourage participants to lean on their natural supports and offer suggestions for it! Be creative in your caring!

This also doesn’t mean to discourage these practices! If you see someone doing deep breathing, check in with them, offer a space for them to decompress, care for them! Worksheets or posters on techniques like square breathing and 5 senses check-ins are great for a quiet room or spaces where participants can decide if they want/are able to engage with those tools. It should be a fully consensual opt-in, rather than being forced to opt-out. Having to leave a room when a group leader says “We’re going to start a mindful breathing meditation, please feel free to leave if you have psychosis, chronic pain, or are trans” is obviously othering and outs people.

Lately I've been learning that when someone hurts me, the pain doesn't automatically mean there's something wrong with me.

It doesn't mean I'm ugly. It doesn't mean I'm unlovable. It doesn't mean I'm unworthy.

Sometimes it just means something hurt.

And when I stop turning every wound into a judgment about my value, I can actually feel what I'm feeling. I can be sad and angry. I can grieve and still laugh. I can miss someone terribly and still be grateful for the people who are here. I can be hurting and proud of myself at the same time.

Emotions don't compete for space. They sit beside each other. And I think there's something beautiful about that.